Parents Argued...

5:45am Woke up to my mom's screaming and shouting arguing with my dad.. The jealousy issues once again.. He confiscated her phone saying she's calling some strangers and is flirting.. What the %$#@.. This is what I mean by having the most ridiculous parents one can have. Despite my mom's obesed body and her numerous health problems, my dad still thinks she's flirting.. I still dunno why my dad begged her to come back to his arms when he still doesn't trust her loyalty and devotion to the family..

I texted my two sisters.. Nothing new.. I dunno what's the problem here and I don't wanna get involved.. I really have so many other things on my mind.. Let them settle this childishness themselves..

I didn't wanna wake up, I didn't wanna get up.. I wanna sink into my bed and get away.. I didn't wanna get involved in this shit.. But I'm the only one who could possibly help.. I didn't feel like going to school, I don't even feel like being alive.. My ankle hurts from yesterday.. SOmeone whacked my ankle area with the god damn stick.. I couldn't feel the pain till I got to my doorstep yesterday as I took off my shoes.. Now it hurts to walk.. But I know I'm strong enough to take that pain away.. I feel like running now.. Run where, I dunno.. But I feel like running and never to stop.. I wanna get away from all my family issues bullshit..

I wanna forget who I am, what I'm capable of, when I was born, where I am.. I wanna forget everything and start anew.. But how am I to do that when my family is about the past? My dad never really let go of the past, my mom is still prisonned in the past.. Every house rule is based on the past.. I wanna break all of these stupid past.. And I wanna start anew, with the future in my hands.. I wanna be famous for something none from my family line ever thought of.. I wanna prove to those who still lives in the past, that you have to let go the past to get to the future..

Now I know why racism arise, why anti-religion arise and why all these 'unfairness' arise... Because no one is contented with what they have. They are always looking at others and feel inferior thus blaming the person for how he is.. Phrases like, " Oh, she succeeded because she is Chinese.. she succeeded because this country is all about Chinese people" As much as it may be true, these people never really go out and prove it wrong.. They just talk the talk and never walk the talk.. They keep blaming other people for their failures.. Instead of getting motivated to do better and outstand the rest, they just go around saying.. "Oh, I'm the minority.. They won't want me... "

Why bring in races or religion into issues that has got nothing to do with it? Do you need to be a Christian to get into a christian school and excel? NO.. I am from a Christian school, I get great results, and I am not a Christian. I don't need to be a Chinese to have better education... I can do it myself. It's totally up to oneself.. Not up to the majority, not up to the minority, not up to your religion.. But up to your ownself.. You have got noone else to blame if you hadn't further your studies when given the chance... Why blame others when you only have got yourself to blame? Stop blaming and start reflecting on yourself! You can do better if you want to.. You can outwit everyone if you choose to.. It's a free world now.. Everyone makes their own choices and decisions..

That's why I wanna step out and prove to everyone that everything I do is so worth it.. And not a waste of time or money as they always say about my involvement in hockey and my plans to further my studies.. I will stay strong and keep fighting.. C'mon and try me..