Being me...

Haiz... Yes, not a really good day as it begins with a sigh... I went to collect my suit, paid $68 of the balance. Then went roaming around the place, sat at Coffee Bean which reminds me of him.. Miss him so so much more than ever...

Then went to Clementi Central. As usual the eyes strayed a bit on the secondhand phone. Just as I approached one of the nearby second hand mobiles phone shop, my phone dropped. It's okay, still able to function but the keypad got stuck couldn't scroll and is kindda spoilt to the obvious. Couldn't possible attack this shop as they saw me dropping the phone.. So went on to the next. Asking the prices... and how much they would take for my phone to trade in. A lot of shops take in my phone for just $100 even when i offered to give them my external radio that i bought separately.

Walked to the next shop. Really desperate to get rid of my spoilt phone without getting caught in the act. This time, they said they'd take my phone plus the external radio for $120. Then I asked the other phones that are available for trade-in. One phone, Samsung.. with camera and video cost about $328. They are not gonna budge the price down. I asked about the Panasonic X400. They have 3 sets I can see. Definitely, they are willing to drop the price and I can whipped some great deals. The original price was about $318. I managed to get it down to $280. Minus my trade-in value, i just need to top up $160. Without any second thoughts I go for it.. Freak out!!! I only have like $130!!! Where to get another $30??? Texted Ogy to transfer the money in advanced. Got $40 from her($10 deducted for the movies + food).

So now.. I'm once again, bankrupt to the core. No money no talk, honey.. Haiz.. And the money is suppose to be used for my graduation night... Haiz... I regret so much that I actually spend all my money on a new phone... I'm a bad bad girl... Bad girls deserve a hard painful smack on the ass. Or better still, kick me in the ass!!!

Oh well, went out with hockey mates, Raiha, Sham and Mat Nur.. Went Orchard, then to Penin as Mat Nur wants to get a new stick. Bargained the price down for him.. From $210 to $126.. Hehe.. My amazing bargain skills. Then we went for training. Kevin Nunis gave the girls a whipping solid hour of basic skills! Hitting, pushing, sweeping, slapping.. Then running here, running there. My gawd.. Could hear my knees cracking for rest. But Nunis himself said I improved a masive from where I started.

But sometimes I feel so useless. Played hockey for more than 5 years, yet I stand nowhere. My basics are terrible. My skills are going haywire. But of course one can only get better by praticing and coming for trainings. And to see people younger than me who started hockey later than me being better than me.. is just so so degrading... So embarassing for me to undertake sometimes. Especially when they come to teach me... Fuck, i started earlier than you.. been in hockey longer than you.. And you are fucking better than me and teach me even.. Fuck. I'm freaking demoralized without any of them with such intention. Why is life such a hassle? Why must humans always have emotions that leads on to unfairness, guilt, moral, face/ego? Why? Urgh.. Maybe it's just me.

Good night folks.