Communication and its Importance

Assalammu'alaikum beloved readers.. How's your day? Weekend is approaching.. Have you had yours planned? Well I hope your plan goes well, and may you enjoy every single day with your loved ones, and be blissed with great health, lots of love, and much happiness. I had a casual light talk with a driver without a choice yesterday.. And he started to well, tell me stories of how his first two marriages failed. Honestly I find it childish.. Anyways, here's what he tell me. Long story short : The only thing that strike him was hearing his wife nagging and said, "You're not the only one working, you know. I am also from the night shift, can't you just help out with the chores, even for a bit" And he freshen up and got out of the house, well, soul searching to haywire. Because that was how he started straying to spending hours at coffee shops, drinking, gambling and what not. To me, the problem could have been settled if he brush his bloody ego or whatever you call it, and tell his wife, "well hey, you know how it is, I'm sorry I dozed off, but we could have done this a better way. Look I know it's irrelevant, but i'm not quite happy about the way you tell me off. You could have just told me you needed help." that simple gesture could just lead to a compromise. But i mean of course it could back fire with wife telling off like this, "you mean i have to ask? don't you have the initiative?" Well then, i mean i sometimes do that, and all it takes, is for the man to say, "Look i am sorry, but I'm just being a man down here." I might have thrown some stupid annoying face that awaits for a slap across it, but I'd eventually sit down, and perhaps, allow time for him to cool off, and finally going up to him and say, "hey.. u know.. i'm sorry, perhaps I was rude. Could we talk about it again, in a cooler/calmer tone?" And then the whole conversation on compromise will come with peace, don't you think? To me, a lot of communication and basic rules should be set well before marriage. It helps. I mean get to know as much as you can about your partner. Hey, trust me, i am guilty too! I sometimes forget to find out about my partner, but I guess we learn through hardships. I know some things are not meant to be told verbally or in written, most of the crucial things about your partner should be learnt through observation and "tests" like when you argue, you should be able to see how your partner reacts, and you'd probably find the way to cool/calm him down. Usually a short time-out does the trick. At least it would be for me. I'd mumble, but if you leave me alone, i'd be tired, and i'd end up reflecting and thinking about what i have done. And if I dun think i was wrong, I would want to sit down and talk about it so we can sit down and understand each other's view and perspective. Noone is perfect, and our views, no matter how much love we have for each other, our views may differ. I always stand true to the fact that others will always treat you the way you treat them or worse. And if you dun like the way you are being treated, tell that person. He/She won't know unless you tell. Noone is born to read other people's mind, ya know. And don't tell like as if you're giving orders, add some examples, or reasons why you dun feel easy with the way you're being treated. The key is just simple communications. Always express your feelings. Tell the person you love what you feel like telling them. If the person truly love you, they'd understand, or at least, try to understand. I hate it when someone tell me, "you should know this, you should know that" I mean goodness sake, if i keep doing the same mistake, chances are I DONT KNOW, or perhaps I DONT UNDERSTAND. And most of the time, the reason why I ask is because I don't know for sure, and would like to know. Just tell me. Or show me. I mean, yes, i'm guilty of being annoyed when someone asked me questions that I thought ppl should know. So, i'm still learning to calm myself down, and be happy that they asked. They wanna know. And i try my best to explain as much as I can so they'd understand. Well, getting married is the easy part, keeping the marriage life alive and happy is the challenging part. All in all, in all kinds of relationships.. I always think that communication is the key and the most important element that kept the relationship worth while. And it's never fair to blame everyone else, and not reflect on your actions. Often, people who go around blaming others are sinners themselves. I always see, 99% of the time, people who accuse and blame others, are actually doing the actions they are accusing and blaming others for. Confusing? well what i mean is, often, I see A accusing B for having an affair without any evidence. Chances are, A is having an affair himself. And I dunno where I got this from but I came up with a line,  "To call someone else stupid, you first have to be Stupid." hahaha.. lame.. But it's true. I will not deny having people calling me stupid, and then because people call me stupid i go around telling people they are stupid. Funny you know, but that's how life is. To break the cycle, you just have to stop and make the change you want to see be in you. You change yourself, before you expect others to change. You gotta be the first, don't expect others to do it before you do. Now I turn around and say, "you are smart. thank you" and if you mean it well, someone will come back and tell you, "You are smart, thank you" and make you smile. ;) The main thing here now is to be sincere in everything you do. Do good, and believe good will befall you in time to come. Don't expect too much, be sincere about doing good. Insya'Allah, Good things will come. Only the way the goods are going to be packaged may differ. Accept even if it looks ugly and horrible, who knows, something even better and something you dun expect may come for you when you accept the challenges that you have to go through. Welcome the good with the bad. Don't expect perfection in others, noone is perfect. Not you, not me, nobody. So accept the good with the bad. May things go smooth, I pray for my safe journey back home, and may my loved ones always be protected from harm and evil. And may they always be blessed with lots of love, great health, faith, and strength to go through the many obstacles that they are facing in life. Amin. Wassalam.