Weird (Part 2)

Assalammu'alaikum and good morning all.. I hope all is fine and may a great day be ahead of all of us.. Another weird episode happened last night. I knocked out at 8pm!! Woke up when I received a good night message from darl. Replied him and went straight back to dreamland. I had a wonderful great sleep throughout till 6.30am this morning. And still, I felt drained out. Body aching badly. And through my journey to work, I played with my imagination and those castles in the air. I'd think darl would freak out if he knew of those castles that I built in the air.. I had no freaking idea why I played that in my mind. Perhaps, it's to chase away the negative thoughts. There are times when I wonder if it'd turn out like how my past had failed me.. There are times that I envelope myself in fear.. I dunno what to do... I dunno if I can cope should things fail again.. I dunno if I'd continue to see through what life has for me... Fear.. I hate fearing loneliness. I hate the fear that is in me fearing he'd leave me.. Just what do I do to chase away this fear that is residing? Just what would securely convince me that things are serious this time round? What do I want? I forgot.. Remind me. Assalammu'alaikum.