Things to be done, and those that's done...

Things/Assignments to be done by Monday

1. To do up 8 camps as per written in Form of Tender
2. To do up the design for the toilets at ARCADE for renovation purpose
3. To finish up the mural designs to be proposed for toilets at ARCADE
4. To calculate the paintable area for rotten apple

Things that I've done from the list

1. Do up 6 camps as per written in Form of Tender.
2. Finish up basic designs for toilets at ARCADE
3. Only pencil on A4 paper mural design done for toilets at ARCADE

I really dunno what I've accounted for tomorrow... How am I to carry on... I just hope I can be there alive and covering my pot holes along the way.

I wish I have a scanner to show the designs.. but then again, thank god I dun have one, otherwise, I'll just publish up my half past six drawings on my blog and probably vandalise the beauty in it.. Haha..

It's(my drawings that is) seriously average or probably below average, but anything is beautiful for anyone who can't draw, shade or paint.. Duh..

Still nothing from Mr.. Just hope everything is fine.. The last post a bit bad.. I hate reading my bad posts which mostly derive from mood swings, insecurity, and the whatever mood. But I don't like deleting my previous post coz that wouldn't be reality, as in reality, there's no going back to erase your bad pasts... So let it be, to all concerned parties, please forgive me..

I wanna get things going fast... But sometimes, it's so fast that I forgot to stop, look out on my left and right for any other options, and just keep moving in one direction. Sometimes, that one direction leads me to a dead end, and I'd just find myself so lost, not knowing the way out or the other alternatives available. I'm on the fast speed lane, refusing to slow down to stop for any danger approaching.

Sometimes, I go fast and make time and way to meet and spend time with everyone but myself. Sometimes, I just keep running even after knowing that there's a huge brickwall right ahead and found myself, bruises and bleeding on the ground underneath all those broken bricks. Sometimes, I try to avoid the head-on collision, but I never learnt anything by keeping myself in one piece... I need to feel the pain, sometimes the pain is just too extreme, but I learnt, though sometimes, I felt like I didn't learn enough, that what I went through is not tough enough, that I had it too easy still.

My thoughts are like a thread full of knots that needs to be straightened out. My brains are in a whirlpool. My heart is in a sinking ship. My soul is in a maze. My identity is playing a game of hide-and-seek. My energy is running out. Where am I, I not know. Who am I, I find not. Why me, I accept not. How to, I know not. What I know, I seek still.

Help me not, but guide me through. Tell me answers not, but question mine please. Love me not, but hate my actions. I'm driving past the place I search for I see not the place.