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Saturday, August 20, 2005

Downward weekend

It's weird, but I'm feeling rather depressed. Hated work as the days passed by. Wish I could simple lie on the open field and watched the skyful of stars with the moon glowing the night away. Then to watch the night turning dawn, and see the sun brightening up the day once more. The darkness in me, starts to do its thing again.

The insecurities start bugging me all over again. The blurred vision of my future starts to replace my beautiful painted future once again. I wish my life wasn't that complicated, like when I was the young 5 yr old growing up to 8 yr old. I wanted that life back. I wanted my cousin to be close to me, taking care of me. I wanted my aunties to be my second best moms. I wanted my uncles to be my second best dads. I wanted my cousins be the sisters and brothers whom God forgot to gave me. I wanted to be fearless, invincible and happy girl once more. I wanted to be free with no boundaries or restrictions.

Having wanting to do that, I also wanted to be who I am now and get past everything faster with no regrets. I want to achieve my ambitions and dreams. I want to be one of the millions who would be a model character for everyone to admire. I want to be one of those people who were blessed with talents and was given the opportunities to flaunt them.

I want so much, but I can only have this small amount of pleasures in reality. I closed my eyes, and wish everything can be settled the best and easiest way. I need a break!

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