When work collides with school....

Yeah, school has started.. 4th week of school has just ended.. And next week will be the revision week, then tests and quizzes will start pumping..

I had so much in my mind today... Those old times seems to take a crash course on me... I started recalling how Mr had been so much help... I recalled at how much we have hurdled... The amount of secrets shared, and everything else.. Of how much I really am forever thankful for, his sincerity, his pureness to help, his care and his concern, his will to motivate me... everything... And how fortunate his wife to have him now...

And now, it seems that I've grown more lonelier than ever before... It seems like there's truly noone out there who truly cares.. Yeah yeah.. Am in one of those moods again..

Now, my relationship life is in a total mess.. There's no real person in my life whom I can truly hold on to, calling him mine, or to be totally sure that he'll be there for me when I truly needed him most.. It seems that everyone is here for a ride.. They come and go as they please, or maybe it's me having them as and when I wish..

However it may appear, deep down inside, I truly am in need of someone real.. Someone who doesnt necessarily require or need to commit, but someone whom I can hold on to and depend on. Someone whom I can talk my feelings out with no boundary, someone whom I can dream with, someone who would guide me to the light when I'm in the dark..

It's strange that all the people I am attracted to is walking away from my world, and people whom I am avoiding is attracted to my dark world. And how every other guy thinks I'm too good for them and the rest thinks I aint worth to be with them..

Today, as I got into the bus after my night classes... I got myself into my small little dark world, unaware of what is around me, unwarned about what is due to me.... I sat alone, in the dark... Feeling so much in need, yet helpless.. Recalling the names of all the people that I wanted so much but have not.. and of those names that I once had but appreciate not... and of those names, that was once in my life but no longer is.

I was still my own little dark dark world now, and I see no light within. Simply sat alone, waiting for a hand to reach me. Someone who can truly understand my plight, and whom can relate to my experiences. Someone who would make me stop my nuisance and be a proper lady. Someone who'd be there to listen when I need to talk, and someone who would talk when I want to listen...

Oh where are thou, mysterious love?

Saviour me from this desirable torture, and enlightened me out of this loneliness...