Trembles from my lips...

Can you feel the trembles within my body,
In fear of being caught, in fear of being seen,
Can't you see my knees go weak when you're near?
In fear of being touched, in fear of being loved.

My lips trembles as I speak,
But words refuse to form up,
You left me standing so weak,
As I tried to gather my strength up.

I hugged myself,
In attempts of feeling warm,
I kissed my knees,
In attempts of feeling loved.

I looked ahead,
Watching you smile,
And here I am,
Trembling again in fear.

Why do you make it so hard for me? I couldnt do much about this freak feeling I have of you.. And all you did was being like how we used to be, after so much that I've given and endured... You simply want me to forgive and forget?

This pain you caused, honey... It just couldnt be forgiven and forgotten in a snap of your fingers. I hated the sight of you as you've caused so much destruction in my life. I hated the sound of your name being mentioned. I just hated everything that has got anything to do with you. I almost splashed acid on your friends' face when he asked me about you.

There's no returning back, so can you please stay out of my life, now and forever and even in my next life. I simply don't wish to deal with you again for the rest of life. You're ruined. You know that!

And just a moment ago, I felt the same trembles from my lips.. But of a different kind.. I felt vibrant, energised.. I wanted to run to that man, but I know I wouldnt find the words and actions to do when I finally met his eyes in reunion. I wanted to just go up to him and smile, but I knew I wouldnt be able to find the answers if he asked. So, I stayed here in my crib.

Only to imagine what it would be when I finally have him in my arms, and him hugging me back warmly and lovingly. And how I would close my eyes, and hugged him tighter and wishing to never let go... Ah...

Dreams are dreams, and dreams ought to come true... Sometimes I wonder, if this feelings are for real, or maybe it's just an illusion... I don't quite know, but I do like the feeling.. It's like I'm winning a race of some kind... And it seems like people are cheering along...