Truth kills within

When truth was told, was it really what you wanted to hear? When truth was let in the open, did you once wished you hadnt told at all?

True, that honesty is the best policy to live by this life you had only once, but will this same truth bring you to where you want to be? Sometimes, this same truth murder away your dreams... Sometimes, it kills away your friends you love.. Sometimes, it just hurts another without having the intentions to.

Sometimes, this same truth, was interpreted wrongly and was read as some kind of a crude remark.

I have always be true to people around me, potraying my true colours.. I don't always get to meet their expectations... But at least I was being real. I am not exactly very proud of what I've been through, neither was I embarassed of what I have been through.

Sometimes, truth needs to be told, and sometimes never at all. I need a lifetime to story my lifeline. Some said, what's past is past.. I left it, to an agreement. Then again, would you really be out with someone with a dark complicated past, that would affect the near future.. It's not that easy to change for the better.. Past will haunt you, one way or another.

The past haunts you in many ways, in Karma.. directly or not. It hurts to see a replay going on around your surroundings... And to tell that you know what it feels like barely do make another party better, because one's experience is never the same with another. Sure, you can relate.. But to what extend?

If I had told you every truth I had in my life.... Will you still be there, giving me love and more? Or would you just stay around to make full use of my everything?

I am trying to paint the future with the most vibrant colours, while others try to smudge my fine lines, and dirty it with thumbprints and marks.. There's nothing much that I can do with a ruined piece of art.. But to simply kill the hatred by admiring others doing the work... It's inevitable, if you ask. If that art's too nice, you just cant keep your hands to yourself but to touch and see if it's really authentic.

I've been up late recently, unable to sleep, thinking of my past, my present and the future.. What will become of me? Who would come and be part of me? When will my heart beat again with someone's name, and will it last this time? Nothing is certain in life..

And so I stubbornly demand spontanity.. But how do I know if you're serious? You said we are just friends... Am I to hope for something that was clearly said was wasnt to be what it was I wanted it to be? I live for myself... And all I did was to make myself happier than I was before..

If doing that has your disapproval, then I would apologise.. Tell me the truth now or it shall never be told.. Do you or do you not, need me in your life?