Where is the old me?

Been to nowhere,
Close but not quite near,
Far away and yet still here,
Long it might feel but just a second it had been.

I don't know what to feel, how to feel and what i am feeling right now.. I detect some disappointment, some hatred, some loving, some laziness.. but what? why? I myself don't know.

At times, I don't know what to do... And at the same time, knew that something needs to be done.. Lost you are, even much more I am, so lost with no guide. Know not where I start, know not where the end is.

I see no right,
To keep the fight,
Nothing too bright,
At a place with no light.

And so i kept racing and compete with many others. Yet I know no matter how I race, even if I do come first, I win no price for there is no race. And so I fought for nothing to be bought. Who am I?

I am me,
Not yours,
I have you,
But mine you are not.

And so I don't know who you are as well... Many of my goodfriends who've seen me develop has been prompting me questions like where is the old friend they had known?

I'm left speechless.. Maybe I did push her down the drain.. Or maybe I left her somewhere and forgot to claim her as mine... Once again, I'm lost.. Find me, get her. Unite us, return us. Where we both belong, where we never will be separated again.

Mana hang peh ilang noh?
Che' carik sampeh lobang cacing pun tak jumpak jugak!
Ape la dah buat kat hang?
Gamak hang buat che' lagu ni.. Hampa che' tau!