Whatever happened to me?

What has happened to all the dreams I once had? Gone without a try, gone without a chance, gone just like that...

My dream to be an engineer might just be history without its existence. I just couldn't recall anything anymore. I've forgotten what I've studied the last 4 yrs. I have suddenly like working in my current workplace. Doing something totally irrelevant to what I've studied.

I have spoke of the things I need to with Zad. And I've set some things straight, though I do hoped for something better.. But I guess this is a better option, so let's just wait and see, eh? What happened, only two of my friends know.

I have to admit that I'm a little closer to MIBI now. I have indeed change my way of living.. He do see the change, but he somewhat still is in disbelief and probably doubt if I had really change for good. Sadly, I can't prove much of that to him just as yet.

I quit being a chained smoker a few days back, planning not to buy any fags, and to just try quit the habit altogether. I haven't been drinking. I have started going about doing what God instructed us to do.

But sometimes, being good is just not enough. Everyone has different expectations and I just can't go around fulfilling everyone's expectations, because I, too have feelings. I, too gets tired of waiting. I, too gets tired of dealing and putting up with shit. I, too need my alone time. I, too needs a touch of concern.

I am sick of being alone. Sick of people who just give up way to easily.

Gone to dig and search for a missing person within. With high hopes and dreams of knowing her real defination and identity.