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Tuesday, January 31, 2006

I hate it when Momma's angry...

MY MISTAKE, I ADMIT... Stop being angry at me.. Stop shouting at me over the phone.. Just stop doing that... Yeah... I do need some reminders.. But not in this angry form... I need you to believe in me, Mama.. I need you to have confidence in me... I need you to be there supporting my rights.. Not your screamings.. Not your scoldings... I need you concern, your love.... Not your anger...

I got my ass home, not a word being exchanged between us.. I felt guilt, Ma.. Very guilty.. I was a little angry.. But I was lost.. I needed your love more than anything.. I felt the sudden urge of need to hug you.. But Mama... You're too angry.. You didn't even wanna look at my face..

I had too many things on my mind.. About money, about my current job, about my upcoming interviews, about my future, about money, about bills, about my life, about my interest, about my future further studies, about money, about friends, about someone, about you, about money, about my current position, about us, about Dad, about you, about me, about money, about bills, about my needs, about your needs, about everything, Ma... I think about everything.. But Ma, I couldn't come with a solution until you believe in me.. Until you have the confidence in me.. Until you learn how to back me up...

Please, Ma.. Please forgive me.. I should have known you well enough now.. I shouldn't have made you angry.. I should have been home earlier than schedule and not just on time.. Mama.. I'm sorry... Please don't stay angry with me....

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