The transition from a happy fiance to a bridezilla...

Assalammualaikum readers!

Yes I am back with more wedding fevers... And if you just got engaged and is going through this phase, trust me, I feel you!

First of...

Personal Experience:

I easily relate to the sudden change of a happy contented fiance to a Bridezilla because I been through that myself. My engagement came to me as a shocking somewhat happy news over the phone by the then boyfriend which goes like this: 

"Jun, my dad will be sending representatives over to you place this CNY weekend to get us engaged." 

Oh which I replied, in disbelief, "You mean this weekend?"

And it is YES. So we hurriedly search for an engagement ring the next day, and sort of agreed not to have any gift exchange considering the short notice PLUS the long weekend holidays with most shops on the holiday. 

The weekend came, and just about 5hours before the hour his relatives came he called to say, "Jun, my relatives had prepared 3 trays of "gifts"! I can't tell them no now."

As calmly as I could, I said, "Okay, I hope no more will be added"

As so off my sister and I scooted in search for something to return for the 3 surprise trays of gifts. We had trouble because of what choices do I have on a CNY weekend, right? So we got fruits and food which we prepared. 

When I got home, he said there are a total of 5trays, of which I can't help but stick with 3 on my side.

So yeah.. That is just the engagement... Here comes the Bridezilla moments!

Setting the date:

Initially it was agreed to be in June 2012, then November 2012, then mid December 2012 then finally on 22/23rd December 2012 and it will be a combined wedding on his side as his sister will be wedded on the same day. 

So I get it when my lady acquaintances gets frustrated even when it is just a week delay because so many people are involved. Your guests, your planner, your caterer, your make up artists, your deco, your family, well, you.. and everything there is that is connected to your wedding.

Sealing the deal:

With a combined setting, it can get personal to compromise to something that meets in the middle. And sometimes, it is just easier to step out and not get too involved. I have my side to deal with anyway. 

So future brides.. if you are sharing, you either have your feet stuck in with all the decisions (you might have to break a few hearts) or just step out completely and just enjoy the "surprise". OR, do what would take up a lot of your energy, which would be to "satisfy" everyone and make everyone "happy" and at times at your own expenses. 

So yes! I feel you!! I know... how you are petite and the other fuller, how you are short and the other taller.. I know... I know... But what to do... As much as we are brides and we should be "Queens", not everything will go our way. Be the kind Queen, and give in, reserve your energy for more happy things..

Meeting for the wedding discussion:

I love such meetings. You future brides, do not ever be shy to share everything and anything about your wedding to your wedding planner (if you have one), and don't be shy to update everyone what is the current situation, and always ask for updates! You are the Bride, they should stress - not you!

So let it out, get the message across, and fill yourself up that everything is running smooth. Don't hide anything from your wedding planner. Even when it is just a little extra help you got to help source for quotations.

First meeting:

What to share or cover on a first meeting? 

You may refer to my first Bridezilla blog post here. 

If you don't want to scare your wedding planner to much, keep it general.. Paint the big picture for her. What do you expect at your own wedding, cover topics like

-Your preferred wedding theme. 

-Your preferred color theme. (up to 3 colors - and maybe 2 options)

-Your preferred venue (up to 3alternatives - in case it is already booked/occupied)

-Any performance you like? (the dance you saw at someone's wedding, or the smooth bike moves at your biker's wedding, or the interesting photobooth maybe?)

-How many outfits do you intend to wear on actual day?

-How many outfits for indoor photography (if any)?

-Rough itinerary - start and end of event.

Go general - don't be too detailed, the details will come in with more meetings... And as you go, you will start making a real good list too!

Make a guest list:

And while you are at it, take note of who would be your "VIP" as defined in my Bridezilla blog post. 

Who you would like the DJ to mention to get on stage and get photos taken, i.e VIP family members, VIP friends, VIP colleagues, etc

Whilst you were busy planning....

Suddenly everyone is against you for no reason. Yes, suddenly he begin to want something different, his family want the round tables instead of the agreed rectangular/square ones. Family start to wonder if blue and green is a nice combination, then the family suddenly thinks that the room should be decorated as well, or perhaps we should go with the rented Limo... OH nooooo... all those days you had painstakingly planned, and everyone had once agreed on, and now... suddenly it is all too full of flaws..

Relax.... it is just the beginning. Go grab that tub of ice cream, and cool down... Call your bestest friend and take a walk at the park or stare at the stars. Eventually, they will all  realize it is your big day, and the most important thing that you and family can do is smile and be happy about it. 

Don't be too hard on  yourself. Everything will be okay...

Stay tune for more, or drop me a comment or two of what you would like to add on in the next entry. 

Lots of love,

Jun

Wassalam

More about planning a wedding....

Assalammualaikum family, friends and readers. Here again, and we are back to weddings again. High demand for wedding-related write-ups it seems...

After going through the post about Saying No to Bridezilla, I have received some request to write more about the wedding itenary and the planning that comes with it.

And... I am more than happy to fulfil it. Here goes... Are you ready?

Planning a Wedding

Save the Date

So now, we've settled the date. If it is a HOT date, I hope you fall in Scenario 1 and not 2 or 3. If it is a non-peak date, I still hope you fall in Scenario 1.

Scenario 1: More than 12 months before the date

12months to go. Start catching your caterer! Set a date for food tasting and get a few others to compare with and decide within the next 1month or less. Some caterers are fully booked as early as 2yrs ahead, so do take note.

Scenario 2: Less than 12 months but more than 6months before the date

You have lesser time, which means you will be pressured. You need a long list of highly recommended caterer, make up artist and get your outfits sorted out soonest. Else you might risk getting the Bridezilla fits. Better to be stressed now then to stress nearer the date.

Scenario 3 : Less than 6months before the date.

Oh HELP! Having a wedding so soon? Are you serious? Ok ok. If it is really the case, you gotta start shooting and just grab and make do with what is left. At this point, please don't expect everything to go your way, and if it does, you are so super lucky! Remember the advice Sis Neny got? "Do not expect too much." This advice applies if you are in this scenario. And it applies to everything!

 Primary list to strike off not in real accordance after setting the date:

Caterer: 

This is what any wedding will be remembered for the most! Be wise in choosing them. Variety may be tempting, but having too many varieties sometimes ends with wastage. So take a look at your guestlist, are they really two poles apart, or they would actually be happy with just 7 dishes, 2 types of rice, and 3-4 drinks?

AND.... this will take at least 40-50% of your whole wedding budget. Mine was almost 60% of the whole wedding cost.

**Venue:

Decide where you want your wedding held. Void deck, Multi-Purpose Hall (MPH), Community Centre (CC), Hotel, Restaurant?

For void deck, MPH or CC, I belive has the same timeline. Earliest to book would be 3months prior to date. I am not entirely sure about Hotel/Restaurant. Send out enquiries now and be sure.

Ask the rental rate, timeline, timing limitations, guests limitations, etc.

For void deck rentals, it depends on location. Mine was $50/day + $10/day/power socket + $10/day/water point.

My husband's was $70/day, power and water the same.

For MPH, the last I asked, it cost between $100-300/day depending on location.

For CC, the last I asked, it cost between $300-1000/day depending on location.

So how many days should you be renting? I rented for 3 days, Fri through Sunday, but my tables and chairs came on Wednesday and it was arranged on Thursday. This greatly depends on your neighbours sometimes. People get angsty and start complaining, then you have to be ready to rent for those additional days as well.

Make up Artist:

You gotta look good. Again, choose wisely. I didn't really choose mine, because I was that laid back, besides I hardly put on make up on a daily basis so any make up guru's touch will do magic to my face.

However, if you are a person who regularly applies make-up. Be fussy. You have a right to be fussy, get a make-up artist who can work with you to what you want. Of course, they know better than you, but don't just sit there feeling miserable knowing you won't like what they are applying on your face. Then again, that don't give you real rights to be telling them what to do, listen up when they wish to highlight some things. Communication is about listening before talking. :)

Again, if you find a make up artist that is such a darling, who dolled you up so pretty, book her fast! And make it formal so she won't back up or get booked officially before you do. They need security deposit too, afterall you are taking up her 10hours away!

Also, please ask if they have a fixed "toll" for the groom. Whilst some are open to play along the peak a boo session, some would prefer a one time confirmed payment. Don't assume. Pls ask.

Outfit(s):

Emersed yourself with photos of manequins and models, but don't forget to try. What looks good on a model/mannequin may overpower you. Get one that you fit in and feel comfortable in it. You will be wearing the outfit for at least 2-3 hours on a possibly hot day.

I designed my own outfits because I can't find any that is Muslimah enough for me. I designed them even before I was engaged. So I handed over my sketches to the wedding planners who handed it over to the tailors to see who can do them for me.

Here are my three outfits:

Outfit 1 (which I kept as momento and wore it again for Hari Raya)

 With the above said, if you are keeping one outfit as momento, keep it simple. And ask, will you wear it again as yourself?

Outfit 1 (sitting, a simple outfit)

Outfit 2 (more bling and detailed)

Outfit 2 (sitted)

Outfit 3 (simple yet elegant!)

I also get to choose the fabric myself, along with my wedding planner who advised me what fabric is better on which designs.

With outfits, don't forget your shoes! Many brides and grooms forget them! When trying your outfit, try it with the shoes you are wearing for the wedding. Make sure the length is okay. And I for one, forgot how detailed my outfits are, and I had to get a shoe with blings, and ended up having almost all the outfits stucked as I walk. Fun experience I must say!

Deco/Theme:

Deco to me is very secondary. Like I posted before, sometimes it is not the deco that hype up the event, it is the people who welcomes the guests. If you have a super long guest list, you can minimize your deco, with so much human traffic who would actually sit, stare and start counting how many flowerpots you had, or how many fancy little chandeliers you had hanging? They don't really care! They wanna see you, and eat (most of us look forward to weddings for the food, right?)!

Theme, it is good if you have a theme you want to work around with. For me it was a simple blue theme. And I just left it to them how to do it. I only tell them the colours I want, a Royal Blue is a must, contrast it with Baby Blue and white. And the rest is a wonderful surprise, you should see my face when I got home from work on Thursday. I was literally jumping around and snapping photos. LOL!

Dowry:

On dowry, this should be discussed among parents and it really is about how your family is raised as well. Whilst it should really reflect how much your event cost, it should also be on par with the groom's affordability and the bride's ability. You wouldn't want to burden your future husband with debts right after you are wed. Regardless, respect and proof it. Sometimes, the bride-to-be parents' are just concerned and would like to see if the groom is capable of saving the money - it really shows if he can save for the rainy days with their daughter. However, please don't start bargaining or setting really high price like you're selling some fish in the market. Respect the bride too, please.

Gift Exchange / Gubahan :

What to get? How many? Who? How?

This, is again, discussed among you the bride and groom. For my case, we both like practicality. We want both our gifts in exchange for something we would use. I am not a brand-freak. So there are no Pradas, Coach, LVs or anything like that on mine, and it is not because he can't afford it but because I have no appreciation what-so-ever for high end brands, and I don't know why.

Here's our list:

For her:
2 FOSSIL Watches (yes 2!)
1 BodyShop Hamper
1 Qur'an + Translation for Muslimah
1 Telekung + Sejadah
1 Jubah + Shawl
1 Cake
1 Dowry + Ring (Maskahwin)

For him:
1 set toiletries
1 set Baju melayu + Samping
1 Sejadah + Songkok
1 chocolate "Masjid"
1 Jellycake
1 Fruit Basket
1 Cake
1 Tablet
1 wallet + Belt

If you need help to decorate your gubahan, find one quick if you are in Scenario 2 & 3, most gubahan services do not take in last-minute requests, they will need at least 1 month to do a good job

Wedding Favours:

Depending on your request, are you okay with anything, or would you like a personalised kind of wedding favours? Are you just in need of something to give, or you would like the guests to use them when they get home?

Do you want to DIY or you wanna just get someone to do it for you?

I got my wedding favours done by ourselves. We did our Crochet Simple Baskets and give away Salted Duck Eggs for the adults and did the Mesh Sachets for the kids with a mix of jelly, chocolate and sweets in them.

Why I choose to take on my own business is because I want a variety of colours to pop my wedding, and no other vendors can do that for my wedding favours.

My husband had eggs in a box as his wedding favours.

Wedding Invitations:

Of course! For this, I'd say go at a minimum, if you have a tight budget. Why? Well not everyone would keep your wedding invitation, face it. 99% would just look at it once or twice before throwing it away after your wedding is over. Don't waste too much on them. Unless.. UNLESS, you wanna DIY with personalized gifts, like how a friend did hers as a chocolate wrapper with an actual chocolate in it. Now, for that, yes... people will remember it! And it will be special, maybe you can do this for a special list.

Do you know? My sister's wedding invitation was done on a simple words document and she simply photocopied them and got them out just like that. I mean, if you're really tight, do consider that, like I said, it is very rare that people would remember how your wedding invitation looks like.

Just make sure there are no major spelling errors, in fact, make sure there is absolutely no spelling errors, people take offence to that sometimes, so make sure and have someone else vet through a second round before giving the "OK" to print mass. :)

Oh what to have in your wedding invitation, you asked?

You can google for templates and there are good ones too! Here's one very basic template:

Secondary list to strike off not in real accordance after setting the date:

 I list these in the secondary list, because I can live without these, but for some, I understand, that what I may list here may be one of your must-haves, and I'd respect that.

DJ/Emcee:

You will need someone who can host the event, someone who would announce when you are arriving, and when it is time for some photo-taking for the family, etc.

Mine? I can't remember. I didn't even know how he looked like, more because of where I am sitted and where he is located. Due to space constraints, my poor DJ was located behind me! Anyway, do tell him what you want if you do have something in mind, do you want an interactive sessions, or more music less talk? Be clear if you KNOW what you want. And leave it to him if you really don't think it as the main factor of your event. 

Henna:

For brides, decide who you want, or what designs you want. For my case, I leave my wedding planner to surprise me. When the henna lady came, I told her to surprise me because I really don't know what to have it on. I am just so not fussy with this. I'd be happy even with just the tip of my fingers done. :)

Car Deco:

Keep it to your theme. Keep it simple - more like it. Unless you are going to make an ultra grand entrance. Or if it is the highlight of the whole event. :) Mine, again.. I leave it to my wedding planner. And yes, we used my father-in-law's humble car. :)

Bedroom Deco:

I wasn't fussy mainly because my room with be out of boundaries once I am out of the house. My solemnization was done at the void deck, so noone will actually come into my room for sneak peek or any sort. So ya, anything goes for me. However, if your room will be open for all relatives to come and see (especially if your solemnization is held in your house), then yes, please do decorate it well as most likely, people are going to walk into your room to take photos and such.

Wedding Cake:

Ah yes, wedding cake. Please be realistic. I didn't and had trouble giving out my cake! LOL! I ordered a three tier real cake and had to packed and forced it to my relatives to bring home. Sometimes, a wedding cake can just be a simple single tier cake. Or if you're okay, and your family don't mind, do without it. :)

Photography/Videography :

I wanted a videography done for my solemnization, but as per packaged, it comes together as a whole 2 days event videography. So does the photography. Mine was packaged in so I don't need to worry about it. And again, I am not so fussed about it. As long as I get nice moments captured, to me I wanted candid shots to relive the moment. And I enjoyed the company of my cameramen and videoman. :)

Kompang :

For the groom, for some families they are okay if you don't have one. To me, it will just be less lively. A good group would be booked 6months to a year full. So remember to book early if you don't want to leave them out! Most kompang comes with the bus for the groom's family as well, so ask.

For the Muslims, don't forget these:

Marriage Course:

It is compulsary to attend, and the course is between 1-3days, costing $120-180/person. Take note of the time and location, most of these organisation would not accept latecomers. 

ROMM registration:

This can be done 7 calendar days prior at the earliest or within 150 calendar days at the latest from the date of registration. Meaning if you register now, the earliest date available is between 7 calendar days from today till 150 calendar days.

Duit Kadi:

Always check with the website, at your own venue, a kadi normally charges $100 for his transportation and services. 

Maskahwin:

 As of now, I believe it is still a minimum of SGD$100. Maskahwin can be in form of cash or gifts (preferably gold)

Priorities set straight

Give a direction

Overall, your event will only happen when you set the direction right, have a direction with your primary concerns, and the secondary ones will follow suit.

Trust

It goes a long way. Sometimes what make an event stressful is when there's lack of trust on the people who is making it possible for you. Don't put unnecessary pressure. It might just make matters worst. Give yourself a break, breathe, and allow someone else - your right man/woman to take over. If something did go wrong, it is heavily relying on your reaction to it, are you going to blow it up out of proportion or are you going to breathe and tell yourself it is okay and just move on? Chances are if you chose the latter, no one would realize something actually went wrong.

Itenary

In a typical Malay wedding, there will be 2 scenarios:

Scenario 1: 

We will have a 2 day event, broken into Day 1: Solemnization and Day 2: Sanding.

Scenario 2:

We will have a 1 day event, broken into Morning (usually between 9-11am): Solemnization and Noon-Evening: Sanding.

Solemnization:

Typically we give the whole ceremony of solemnization an approximately 2-3hours. Grooms, please remember to come at least 30-45 mins earlier than the scheduled time. This is to avoid any unforeseen delays and to give you time to settle down while waiting for the Kadi, and also room for the elders between two families to officialise the event, with greeting and final showcase of the dowry, etc.

Brides and Grooms, get your documents ready and hand them over to your VIPs (refer to Bridezilla post). Get the documents from all your witnesses as well, if they refuse, leave it till the Kadi asks for it.

After it is over, there will be private photo-taking of the newly weds, and immediate families, give them a while before you jump and request for a photo. Afterall they had just relieved the biggest moment of their life. :)

For Scenario 1, depending on your caterers, some provide a small buffet for 100 pax for your guests who had come by to watch your special moment, whilst some only provide the buffet later that evening for those who wish to come by for a chat.

For Scenario 2, set the itenary straight, are you rushing for time? What time do you want scheduled for an outfit change, or do you want to rest for a couple of hours privately before you continue with event. Plan now!

Some would proceed on, and some would give a short break to catch up, depending on the time of solemnization. If yours is at 9am, of course there will be ample time for you to catch a short nap even! But if yours is at 11am, it would be best to just proceed along. Schedule your next outfit change at 2pm, maybe?

Sanding:

For Scenario 1, it will be another day.... Depending on the location between the bride's and grooms, please give ample time for travel and give some buffer for unforeseen delays.

Typically, the bride will get down sitted on the dais between 11-12.30pm. And the groom will arrive at 1pm.

With this said, your make up artist may schedule to step in as early as 9am.  Better to be early than to be late. You can never tell what could go wrong, I for one had my left eye crying to an unstoppable rage. LOL. We kindda panic, but we made it, Alhamdulillah.

Plan early, do you want to eat here, in the first Sanding outfit, or you want to eat over at the Grooms (before of after the second outfit?). You got to decide now.

I had mine in my first outfit, rest, some photo taking, then head down to the Groom's. We are at the Groom's at about 2.30ish. Schedule for an outfit change after 1-2 hours at the Groom's. Mine was scheduled at 4pm. And we left at 5pm.

We got back to my place by 5.30pm, with just enough time to have a few family photos, cake-cutting and close up with the salams to the elders.

Outdoor Shoot:

If you have an outdoor shoot, you can either schedule after your solemnization (for Scenario 1) or have it after your event is over (for both Scenario 1 and 2).  I had mine done after the event is over because I badly wanted a sunset shot!

Here is one of my favorite!

Well, ya not exactly a sunset shot, but it shows the array of sunset sky. :p

That's all Folks

I hope I had it all covered. Do drop me a comment if I missed anything else. :)

Wassalam,
Jun

Say No to Bridezilla!

Assalammu'alaikum family and friends,

As some of my younger friends are getting ready to hit the wedding bells, I thought it'd just be nice to give some tips to avoid turning into a Bridezilla.

I have had my moments whilst preparing mine, just that I was being such a kiasu that my panic attack was 6months prior to the big day, so that left me and my wedding planner team ample time to work it out and settle it a month prior the THE day.

So there it is :

Tip 1: Plan way in advance

I don't know how else to emphasize the importance. I had mine planned 19 months ahead. I got engaged in Feb 2011, I had my wedding planner in tow in May 2011. My wedding was in Dec 2012.

That 19 months, as long as it sounds, is actually pretty short.

Tip 2: Get a list of things to get done

Yes, simple as that. Get the list written/typed and pasted on your book, fridge, or even your bedroom door. There will always a little something to add as you are passing day by day to the wedding.

Here's my initial list:

Wedding theme - colours, songs (DJ), food/drinks
Wedding costumes - how many, what colours, what theme?
Guest List - family, friends, colleagues


Smart small, it will grow - trust me!

Tip 3: Appoint your VIP

Not VIP Guest, but VIP assistants, the people whom you'd trust the most to handle your wedding or someone who know your taste and can make decisions of behalf.

Your Right Man/Woman (preferably a family member) - She/He will be holding the house keys, and will be the key person anyone should look out for if you are not around. She must know what your itenary is and what to expect when.

Your Bestman/Bridesmaid (preferably a friend) - why not family member? Simple answer for this one. Family members usually get distracted and pulled over by your family guests. Your bestfriend would be ideal for this job, because he/she would know who your family and some friends at least. Her/His job would be to keep track of time, and to be at your service, he/she should be the one running for you, get the water for you, and the one who should inform your make-up artist if something is amiss. And she/he would be carrying your important things like your mobile/wallet. So you gotta trust her/him and she/he needs to very reliable.

Tip 4: Leave the work to the experts

Yes, as much as we want to get involved and do everything ourselves, some things are better left to the professionals. Just tell them what you want, and allow them to surprise you.

If you are a perfectionist, learn to let go, don't expect everyone to fly to the sky. If you are the bo-chap sort, don't let everyone else decide for your wedding. You have to set the direction before you can leave everything to everyone. If you don't have a direction, everyone will be going in every direction in opposites and won't see to work in the same direction.

Of course, if you want to give a personal touch, do what is within your means, don't overload yourself and over-stress yourself or putting yourself under unnecessary pressure.

I did my own wedding favours and had started almost immediately after I have my wedding planner on board, and had expressed to her my intentions.

Tip 5: Get all the help you can

Again, as much as we want to be independent, it is during this time that you'll be glad there is help. Tell your friends if you need a pair of extra hands, most would be glad to help in!

Tip 6: Hand it over to your VIPs

As we are nearing our big dates, it will be time to hand it over to your VIPs to take over. Tell them when your cake is coming, who is the person baking your cake, how your cake is suppose to look like, tell them when the henna artist is coming, when the make up artist is coming, what time you are scheduled to change, what time you are scheduled to eat. Tell them the whole itenary, and allow them to take the load off you.

Tip 7: Take a break and do a little retreat

About time! Give yourself a break, with people taking over your worries. Relax, go for a retreat and destress for awhile. Trust your VIPs. They would want a perfect wedding for you too...

Tip 8: Get enough sleep

We all get cranky when we don't sleep enough. Go schedule an alarm to go to sleep if you must. Don't stay up too late! If you really did leave something out, just relay the message to your VIP. Before that, ask yourself, is it really important for you to not miss this, or it is something that you can do without and still be happy? Don't overstress your VIPs, they are human too. Don't be too authoritative else they would find it a burden.

Tip 9: Relax and Enjoy the day.

Finally the day has come? Relax... Stay positive, remember everyone has been waiting for this day, of course they want it to be as perfect as you had planned.

"Do not have high expectations" - one the of best advice Sis Neny got when she was getting married.

This would let you feel surprised at how perfect your wedding ends up to be. Trust me, all weddings will have their hiccups. What makes it different is how you, the wedded couple, reacts to it.

Let your wedding planner and VIPs work things out, you just have to relax... Don't worry, everything will be fine, afterall you've got each other now.. :)

Tip 10: Smile and Love

This is something I failed to do a lot during my big day. I dunno what was on my mind, I had fun, but it was hard to smile and love at that point. My husband wasn't posing well, neither did I. In fact there are a few pictures that caught me frowning or staring into empty space.

Here's one:

I have absolutely no idea what I was doing or thinking when my cameraman snap this photo. LOL!

So future brides and grooms, please remember to smile and love on your big day. Show the world it is your big day and that you are happy with your chosen partner. Dah Halal dah... peluk la sampai pagi!

I hope all the above would help you in your planning and bring you smiles.

If you like this entry, you may find this entry useful to you too.

Wassalam,
Jun

Till debt to us part...

Assalammu'alaikum readers!

Title sounds familiar? If you had read The New Paper, it obviously is and apparently is very much talked about for awhile now. If you haven't read it yet, here's the link.

I dunno how and why a wedding needs to be so expensive - I mean $100K? Seriously... - especially so when the bride or groom has no financial means to do so. Seriously, dude/dudette, so what if the whole world stood in awe watching your wedding? Why must you all die to live another living nightmare with all the unnecessary debts? Would the people who stood in awe watching you wed help you pay the debts you both had incurred?

In comparison, had you just "wear the hat that fits", they might just be one of two yapping about how "cheapo" or "low class" the wedding is, but hey... you are debt free and you eat when  you are hungry and sleep when you are tired.

Like myself, I would consider mine a little over - but yet doesnt cause a hole in my pocket. And the most important thing was that I enjoy my wedding!

So, let's recapped on my wedding expenditure..

I took a wedding planner (not really necessary, but I found her by chance and a lot of the necessity is under her wing). This wedding planner gets a distinction for planning my wedding so well and she did an awesome job in keeping my budget in check with what I want.

I remember her holding my hand down and ask if I really want what I asked for and if I am ready to top up the differences, and how much off my initial budget we are already heading towards. Now, my friends, this is an excellent example of a good wedding planner.

A good wedding planner, in my dictionary, had to prioritize your budget against your needs and then your wants. And she should always remind you that you are going off budget, and if you insists, well it won't be her fault. For my case, I said I want it, and asked if there is anything that can be compensated to have what I want. She left me a good choice of alternatives.

OK back to the dollars and cents.

My breakdown was pretty much simple.
Food/Catering with the buffet set, tables, toilet, dishwashers and service waiter/waitress (kendarats) - $9,900
(it was actually $9,500 but my parents requested a few add-ons and so it is $9,900)
This price is for 1000pax of guests
My wedding planner gave a complimentary 100 packets of food pre-packed (for VIPs to bring home)
Honestly, to be really honest, that is just about all that I remember in the breakdown! LOL

I paid a total of $17,900 to my wedding planner which includes the dais, void deck deco - incl table and chairs, bedroom deco, gubahan, DJ, photographers+videographers - incl outdoor photoshoot+video, make-up+hijab styling, 3 pairs of exclusively tailored and self-designed outfits (I get to keep one pair of the outfits), the door gifts (which I gave away to the groom because I had my own wedding favours handmade), signages (to show where my event is at the busstop and carpark entrances), wedding car deco, full henna design on both hands and feets and 1 complimentary make up for my sister. Service wise, I had to emphasize that I was glad we had our timings in check with the help of my wedding planner, my make up artist and my BFF. I really don't have to worry about anything except to have fun and smile away!

I spend another $300 on my invitation card, and another $300 on my 3-tier (all real) wedding cake.

So that is $18,500 in total. We used my father-in-law's humble Hyundai Avante as our wedding car so we didn't spend anything on rental. And this, is just on my side.

My husband spend about the same - the difference is, he shared it with his sister, who weds on the same day as us.

And that in itself, was rather a lot to me. However, we both made it happen without having any debts. And we are so glad we kept to our respective budget. I was really lucky to have that awesome wedding planner (apparently my wedding was last I heard of her, she continued her studies right after my event was over, and I am not sure if she is making a come-back).




And a few weddings I attended recently had spent $25K just on the food. I am guessing my kids will have to make us cook if the price continue to hike upwards. Otherwise, they will just have a simple home dinner to celebrate their wedding. And I guess I rather that than to see my children kill themselves everyday as the debt accumulates interest.

To me, a wedding can be raised up a notch just by having the right guests to make your wedding a day noone forgets! I have been to weddings a lot and had always observed. Sometimes the deco is so bare, and you knew in a glance, it was a wedding driven by a very tight budget, but the guests that were there, the people who welcomed us when we come by, they made us feel so honoured and we instantly forget the bare deco, and could only wish the bride and groom a very blissful marriage. Afterall, a marriage is not just on the wedding day, it is if possible always for a lifetime.

And there are also weddings which in a glance tells you it was kahching everywhere in every corner, and yet the people who were there to welcome us did it solemnly, in darkness and silence. So much so that the extravagant deco couldn't do much to hype up the event.

Alhamdulillah, as much as I foresee some scene, it didnt happen. I guess with this, I am so sure and would vouch that blood is always thicker than water. No matter how we may have offended or hated each other, we still would be there for each other, in silence, in darkness or in pain. We still feel a little happy when they are genuinely happy, and sad when they are in despair, and pain when they are in trouble. This what family is. They know how crazy and stupid we can be, but we don't have the choice to cut our blood ties. We will still somehow end up helping each other.

Even when I didn't say and show, deep down I always wished we could be like how we were when we were kids, when my mom is theirs, and their mom is mine. I wish that we can be as close as before, but somehow... words are not that easy to erase for the hurt it might have caused back then might still be fresh. How I wish, those words weren't read by me, weren't typed by them. How I wish... Honestly, I miss you. I miss all of you. Deep down it hurts so much when you pretend not to see me, and how stupid my ego and pride is to also pretend not to see you.

It hurts that much, and I still cry because I miss you, I miss those happy times. We will soon be neighbours somehow, and I always wonder if you'd just forget, and I can let go my ego, to just say Hi, and to just invite you over for a happy cuppa Latte Machiato or whatever you'd like. I wish I had cousins everyone else have, who is always a phonecall away to just talk shit and gossip only to forget what is said because it is all afterall, about family.

Oh wells, let's just hope my children will have cousins whom they can call best friends forever then!

On a good note, I shall end my write-up with happy recalls of how my family expands after marriage. I felt blessed that I now have a husband to rant on, complain to (and about), and still have his arms wide open to hug me when I need one! I am loved, and should always feel blessed for that.

And oh.... I was filmed! Oppss.. Seeecccrreeettt! Shall write after the scene is aired! I enjoyed myself that day!



Good evening, and have a great week ahead!

Xoxo,
Jun

Happy 2014!

Assalammu'alaikum!

Yes, as promised.. I am writing about the wedding we participated in as a couple mending a Polaroid Photobooth.

That is how our booth looks like. Simple, yet catchy enough.

800 guests come and go, and we only finished 100films. Hardwork!

And here are some of our favourites!

And someone asked for my card. Oh I am flattered!

We had fun, but we are definitely famished! Can't wait to give the guestbook to the newly weds.

Towards the end, we had to walk around and start photobombing some guests to fill up the guestbook, Alhamdulillah, it all fits well.

Till I blog again. :)

Wassalam,
Jun