After going through the post about Saying No to Bridezilla, I have received some request to write more about the wedding itenary and the planning that comes with it.
And... I am more than happy to fulfil it. Here goes... Are you ready?
Planning a Wedding
Save the Date
So now, we've settled the date. If it is a HOT date, I hope you fall in Scenario 1 and not 2 or 3. If it is a non-peak date, I still hope you fall in Scenario 1.Scenario 1: More than 12 months before the date
12months to go. Start catching your caterer! Set a date for food tasting and get a few others to compare with and decide within the next 1month or less. Some caterers are fully booked as early as 2yrs ahead, so do take note.
Scenario 2: Less than 12 months but more than 6months before the date
You have lesser time, which means you will be pressured. You need a long list of highly recommended caterer, make up artist and get your outfits sorted out soonest. Else you might risk getting the Bridezilla fits. Better to be stressed now then to stress nearer the date.
Scenario 3 : Less than 6months before the date.
Oh HELP! Having a wedding so soon? Are you serious? Ok ok. If it is really the case, you gotta start shooting and just grab and make do with what is left. At this point, please don't expect everything to go your way, and if it does, you are so super lucky! Remember the advice Sis Neny got? "Do not expect too much." This advice applies if you are in this scenario. And it applies to everything!
Primary list to strike off not in real accordance after setting the date:
Caterer:
This is what any wedding will be remembered for the most! Be wise in choosing them. Variety may be tempting, but having too many varieties sometimes ends with wastage. So take a look at your guestlist, are they really two poles apart, or they would actually be happy with just 7 dishes, 2 types of rice, and 3-4 drinks?AND.... this will take at least 40-50% of your whole wedding budget. Mine was almost 60% of the whole wedding cost.
**Venue:
Decide where you want your wedding held. Void deck, Multi-Purpose Hall (MPH), Community Centre (CC), Hotel, Restaurant?
For void deck, MPH or CC, I belive has the same timeline. Earliest to book would be 3months prior to date. I am not entirely sure about Hotel/Restaurant. Send out enquiries now and be sure.
Ask the rental rate, timeline, timing limitations, guests limitations, etc.
For void deck rentals, it depends on location. Mine was $50/day + $10/day/power socket + $10/day/water point.
My husband's was $70/day, power and water the same.
For MPH, the last I asked, it cost between $100-300/day depending on location.
For CC, the last I asked, it cost between $300-1000/day depending on location.
So how many days should you be renting? I rented for 3 days, Fri through Sunday, but my tables and chairs came on Wednesday and it was arranged on Thursday. This greatly depends on your neighbours sometimes. People get angsty and start complaining, then you have to be ready to rent for those additional days as well.
Make up Artist:
You gotta look good. Again, choose wisely. I didn't really choose mine, because I was that laid back, besides I hardly put on make up on a daily basis so any make up guru's touch will do magic to my face.However, if you are a person who regularly applies make-up. Be fussy. You have a right to be fussy, get a make-up artist who can work with you to what you want. Of course, they know better than you, but don't just sit there feeling miserable knowing you won't like what they are applying on your face. Then again, that don't give you real rights to be telling them what to do, listen up when they wish to highlight some things. Communication is about listening before talking. :)
Again, if you find a make up artist that is such a darling, who dolled you up so pretty, book her fast! And make it formal so she won't back up or get booked officially before you do. They need security deposit too, afterall you are taking up her 10hours away!
Also, please ask if they have a fixed "toll" for the groom. Whilst some are open to play along the peak a boo session, some would prefer a one time confirmed payment. Don't assume. Pls ask.
Outfit(s):
Emersed yourself with photos of manequins and models, but don't forget to try. What looks good on a model/mannequin may overpower you. Get one that you fit in and feel comfortable in it. You will be wearing the outfit for at least 2-3 hours on a possibly hot day.I designed my own outfits because I can't find any that is Muslimah enough for me. I designed them even before I was engaged. So I handed over my sketches to the wedding planners who handed it over to the tailors to see who can do them for me.
Here are my three outfits:
 | |
| Outfit 1 (which I kept as momento and wore it again for Hari Raya) |
 |
| Outfit 1 (sitting, a simple outfit) |
 |
| Outfit 2 (more bling and detailed) |
 |
| Outfit 2 (sitted) |
 |
| Outfit 3 (simple yet elegant!) |
I also get to choose the fabric myself, along with my wedding planner who advised me what fabric is better on which designs.
With outfits, don't forget your shoes! Many brides and grooms forget them! When trying your outfit, try it with the shoes you are wearing for the wedding. Make sure the length is okay. And I for one, forgot how detailed my outfits are, and I had to get a shoe with blings, and ended up having almost all the outfits stucked as I walk. Fun experience I must say!
Deco/Theme:
Deco to me is very secondary. Like I posted before, sometimes it is not the deco that hype up the event, it is the people who welcomes the guests. If you have a super long guest list, you can minimize your deco, with so much human traffic who would actually sit, stare and start counting how many flowerpots you had, or how many fancy little chandeliers you had hanging? They don't really care! They wanna see you, and eat (most of us look forward to weddings for the food, right?)!Theme, it is good if you have a theme you want to work around with. For me it was a simple blue theme. And I just left it to them how to do it. I only tell them the colours I want, a Royal Blue is a must, contrast it with Baby Blue and white. And the rest is a wonderful surprise, you should see my face when I got home from work on Thursday. I was literally jumping around and snapping photos. LOL!
Dowry:
On dowry, this should be discussed among parents and it really is about how your family is raised as well. Whilst it should really reflect how much your event cost, it should also be on par with the groom's affordability and the bride's ability. You wouldn't want to burden your future husband with debts right after you are wed. Regardless, respect and proof it. Sometimes, the bride-to-be parents' are just concerned and would like to see if the groom is capable of saving the money - it really shows if he can save for the rainy days with their daughter. However, please don't start bargaining or setting really high price like you're selling some fish in the market. Respect the bride too, please.Gift Exchange / Gubahan :
What to get? How many? Who? How?This, is again, discussed among you the bride and groom. For my case, we both like practicality. We want both our gifts in exchange for something we would use. I am not a brand-freak. So there are no Pradas, Coach, LVs or anything like that on mine, and it is not because he can't afford it but because I have no appreciation what-so-ever for high end brands, and I don't know why.
Here's our list:
For her:
2 FOSSIL Watches (yes 2!)
1 BodyShop Hamper
1 Qur'an + Translation for Muslimah
1 Telekung + Sejadah
1 Jubah + Shawl
1 Cake
1 Dowry + Ring (Maskahwin)
For him:
1 set toiletries
1 set Baju melayu + Samping
1 Sejadah + Songkok
1 chocolate "Masjid"
1 Jellycake
1 Fruit Basket
1 Cake
1 Tablet
1 wallet + Belt
If you need help to decorate your gubahan, find one quick if you are in Scenario 2 & 3, most gubahan services do not take in last-minute requests, they will need at least 1 month to do a good job
Wedding Favours:
Depending on your request, are you okay with anything, or would you like a personalised kind of wedding favours? Are you just in need of something to give, or you would like the guests to use them when they get home?Do you want to DIY or you wanna just get someone to do it for you?
I got my wedding favours done by ourselves. We did our Crochet Simple Baskets and give away Salted Duck Eggs for the adults and did the Mesh Sachets for the kids with a mix of jelly, chocolate and sweets in them.
Why I choose to take on my own business is because I want a variety of colours to pop my wedding, and no other vendors can do that for my wedding favours.
My husband had eggs in a box as his wedding favours.
Wedding Invitations:
Of course! For this, I'd say go at a minimum, if you have a tight budget. Why? Well not everyone would keep your wedding invitation, face it. 99% would just look at it once or twice before throwing it away after your wedding is over. Don't waste too much on them. Unless.. UNLESS, you wanna DIY with personalized gifts, like how a friend did hers as a chocolate wrapper with an actual chocolate in it. Now, for that, yes... people will remember it! And it will be special, maybe you can do this for a special list.Do you know? My sister's wedding invitation was done on a simple words document and she simply photocopied them and got them out just like that. I mean, if you're really tight, do consider that, like I said, it is very rare that people would remember how your wedding invitation looks like.
Just make sure there are no major spelling errors, in fact, make sure there is absolutely no spelling errors, people take offence to that sometimes, so make sure and have someone else vet through a second round before giving the "OK" to print mass. :)
Oh what to have in your wedding invitation, you asked?
You can google for templates and there are good ones too! Here's one very basic template:
Secondary list to strike off not in real accordance after setting the date:
I list these in the secondary list, because I can live without these, but for some, I understand, that what I may list here may be one of your must-haves, and I'd respect that.DJ/Emcee:
You will need someone who can host the event, someone who would announce when you are arriving, and when it is time for some photo-taking for the family, etc.Mine? I can't remember. I didn't even know how he looked like, more because of where I am sitted and where he is located. Due to space constraints, my poor DJ was located behind me! Anyway, do tell him what you want if you do have something in mind, do you want an interactive sessions, or more music less talk? Be clear if you KNOW what you want. And leave it to him if you really don't think it as the main factor of your event.
Henna:
For brides, decide who you want, or what designs you want. For my case, I leave my wedding planner to surprise me. When the henna lady came, I told her to surprise me because I really don't know what to have it on. I am just so not fussy with this. I'd be happy even with just the tip of my fingers done. :)Car Deco:
Keep it to your theme. Keep it simple - more like it. Unless you are going to make an ultra grand entrance. Or if it is the highlight of the whole event. :) Mine, again.. I leave it to my wedding planner. And yes, we used my father-in-law's humble car. :)Bedroom Deco:
I wasn't fussy mainly because my room with be out of boundaries once I am out of the house. My solemnization was done at the void deck, so noone will actually come into my room for sneak peek or any sort. So ya, anything goes for me. However, if your room will be open for all relatives to come and see (especially if your solemnization is held in your house), then yes, please do decorate it well as most likely, people are going to walk into your room to take photos and such.Wedding Cake:
Ah yes, wedding cake. Please be realistic. I didn't and had trouble giving out my cake! LOL! I ordered a three tier real cake and had to packed and forced it to my relatives to bring home. Sometimes, a wedding cake can just be a simple single tier cake. Or if you're okay, and your family don't mind, do without it. :)Photography/Videography :
I wanted a videography done for my solemnization, but as per packaged, it comes together as a whole 2 days event videography. So does the photography. Mine was packaged in so I don't need to worry about it. And again, I am not so fussed about it. As long as I get nice moments captured, to me I wanted candid shots to relive the moment. And I enjoyed the company of my cameramen and videoman. :)Kompang :
For the groom, for some families they are okay if you don't have one. To me, it will just be less lively. A good group would be booked 6months to a year full. So remember to book early if you don't want to leave them out! Most kompang comes with the bus for the groom's family as well, so ask.For the Muslims, don't forget these:
Marriage Course:
It is compulsary to attend, and the course is between 1-3days, costing $120-180/person. Take note of the time and location, most of these organisation would not accept latecomers.ROMM registration:
This can be done 7 calendar days prior at the earliest or within 150 calendar days at the latest from the date of registration. Meaning if you register now, the earliest date available is between 7 calendar days from today till 150 calendar days.Duit Kadi:
Always check with the website, at your own venue, a kadi normally charges $100 for his transportation and services.Maskahwin:
As of now, I believe it is still a minimum of SGD$100. Maskahwin can be in form of cash or gifts (preferably gold)Priorities set straight
Give a direction
Overall, your event will only happen when you set the direction right, have a direction with your primary concerns, and the secondary ones will follow suit.Trust
It goes a long way. Sometimes what make an event stressful is when there's lack of trust on the people who is making it possible for you. Don't put unnecessary pressure. It might just make matters worst. Give yourself a break, breathe, and allow someone else - your right man/woman to take over. If something did go wrong, it is heavily relying on your reaction to it, are you going to blow it up out of proportion or are you going to breathe and tell yourself it is okay and just move on? Chances are if you chose the latter, no one would realize something actually went wrong.Itenary
In a typical Malay wedding, there will be 2 scenarios:Scenario 1:
We will have a 2 day event, broken into Day 1: Solemnization and Day 2: Sanding.Scenario 2:
We will have a 1 day event, broken into Morning (usually between 9-11am): Solemnization and Noon-Evening: Sanding.Solemnization:
Typically we give the whole ceremony of solemnization an approximately 2-3hours. Grooms, please remember to come at least 30-45 mins earlier than the scheduled time. This is to avoid any unforeseen delays and to give you time to settle down while waiting for the Kadi, and also room for the elders between two families to officialise the event, with greeting and final showcase of the dowry, etc.Brides and Grooms, get your documents ready and hand them over to your VIPs (refer to Bridezilla post). Get the documents from all your witnesses as well, if they refuse, leave it till the Kadi asks for it.
After it is over, there will be private photo-taking of the newly weds, and immediate families, give them a while before you jump and request for a photo. Afterall they had just relieved the biggest moment of their life. :)
For Scenario 1, depending on your caterers, some provide a small buffet for 100 pax for your guests who had come by to watch your special moment, whilst some only provide the buffet later that evening for those who wish to come by for a chat.
For Scenario 2, set the itenary straight, are you rushing for time? What time do you want scheduled for an outfit change, or do you want to rest for a couple of hours privately before you continue with event. Plan now!
Some would proceed on, and some would give a short break to catch up, depending on the time of solemnization. If yours is at 9am, of course there will be ample time for you to catch a short nap even! But if yours is at 11am, it would be best to just proceed along. Schedule your next outfit change at 2pm, maybe?
Sanding:
For Scenario 1, it will be another day.... Depending on the location between the bride's and grooms, please give ample time for travel and give some buffer for unforeseen delays.Typically, the bride will get down sitted on the dais between 11-12.30pm. And the groom will arrive at 1pm.
With this said, your make up artist may schedule to step in as early as 9am. Better to be early than to be late. You can never tell what could go wrong, I for one had my left eye crying to an unstoppable rage. LOL. We kindda panic, but we made it, Alhamdulillah.
Plan early, do you want to eat here, in the first Sanding outfit, or you want to eat over at the Grooms (before of after the second outfit?). You got to decide now.
I had mine in my first outfit, rest, some photo taking, then head down to the Groom's. We are at the Groom's at about 2.30ish. Schedule for an outfit change after 1-2 hours at the Groom's. Mine was scheduled at 4pm. And we left at 5pm.
We got back to my place by 5.30pm, with just enough time to have a few family photos, cake-cutting and close up with the salams to the elders.
Outdoor Shoot:
If you have an outdoor shoot, you can either schedule after your solemnization (for Scenario 1) or have it after your event is over (for both Scenario 1 and 2). I had mine done after the event is over because I badly wanted a sunset shot!Here is one of my favorite!
That's all Folks
I hope I had it all covered. Do drop me a comment if I missed anything else. :)Wassalam,
Jun
No comments:
Post a Comment