The transition from a happy fiance to a bridezilla...

Assalammualaikum readers!

Yes I am back with more wedding fevers... And if you just got engaged and is going through this phase, trust me, I feel you!

First of...

Personal Experience:

I easily relate to the sudden change of a happy contented fiance to a Bridezilla because I been through that myself. My engagement came to me as a shocking somewhat happy news over the phone by the then boyfriend which goes like this: 

"Jun, my dad will be sending representatives over to you place this CNY weekend to get us engaged." 

Oh which I replied, in disbelief, "You mean this weekend?"

And it is YES. So we hurriedly search for an engagement ring the next day, and sort of agreed not to have any gift exchange considering the short notice PLUS the long weekend holidays with most shops on the holiday. 

The weekend came, and just about 5hours before the hour his relatives came he called to say, "Jun, my relatives had prepared 3 trays of "gifts"! I can't tell them no now."

As calmly as I could, I said, "Okay, I hope no more will be added"

As so off my sister and I scooted in search for something to return for the 3 surprise trays of gifts. We had trouble because of what choices do I have on a CNY weekend, right? So we got fruits and food which we prepared. 

When I got home, he said there are a total of 5trays, of which I can't help but stick with 3 on my side.

So yeah.. That is just the engagement... Here comes the Bridezilla moments!

Setting the date:

Initially it was agreed to be in June 2012, then November 2012, then mid December 2012 then finally on 22/23rd December 2012 and it will be a combined wedding on his side as his sister will be wedded on the same day. 

So I get it when my lady acquaintances gets frustrated even when it is just a week delay because so many people are involved. Your guests, your planner, your caterer, your make up artists, your deco, your family, well, you.. and everything there is that is connected to your wedding.

Sealing the deal:

With a combined setting, it can get personal to compromise to something that meets in the middle. And sometimes, it is just easier to step out and not get too involved. I have my side to deal with anyway. 

So future brides.. if you are sharing, you either have your feet stuck in with all the decisions (you might have to break a few hearts) or just step out completely and just enjoy the "surprise". OR, do what would take up a lot of your energy, which would be to "satisfy" everyone and make everyone "happy" and at times at your own expenses. 

So yes! I feel you!! I know... how you are petite and the other fuller, how you are short and the other taller.. I know... I know... But what to do... As much as we are brides and we should be "Queens", not everything will go our way. Be the kind Queen, and give in, reserve your energy for more happy things..

Meeting for the wedding discussion:

I love such meetings. You future brides, do not ever be shy to share everything and anything about your wedding to your wedding planner (if you have one), and don't be shy to update everyone what is the current situation, and always ask for updates! You are the Bride, they should stress - not you!

So let it out, get the message across, and fill yourself up that everything is running smooth. Don't hide anything from your wedding planner. Even when it is just a little extra help you got to help source for quotations.

First meeting:

What to share or cover on a first meeting? 

You may refer to my first Bridezilla blog post here. 

If you don't want to scare your wedding planner to much, keep it general.. Paint the big picture for her. What do you expect at your own wedding, cover topics like

-Your preferred wedding theme. 

-Your preferred color theme. (up to 3 colors - and maybe 2 options)

-Your preferred venue (up to 3alternatives - in case it is already booked/occupied)

-Any performance you like? (the dance you saw at someone's wedding, or the smooth bike moves at your biker's wedding, or the interesting photobooth maybe?)

-How many outfits do you intend to wear on actual day?

-How many outfits for indoor photography (if any)?

-Rough itinerary - start and end of event.

Go general - don't be too detailed, the details will come in with more meetings... And as you go, you will start making a real good list too!

Make a guest list:

And while you are at it, take note of who would be your "VIP" as defined in my Bridezilla blog post. 

Who you would like the DJ to mention to get on stage and get photos taken, i.e VIP family members, VIP friends, VIP colleagues, etc

Whilst you were busy planning....

Suddenly everyone is against you for no reason. Yes, suddenly he begin to want something different, his family want the round tables instead of the agreed rectangular/square ones. Family start to wonder if blue and green is a nice combination, then the family suddenly thinks that the room should be decorated as well, or perhaps we should go with the rented Limo... OH nooooo... all those days you had painstakingly planned, and everyone had once agreed on, and now... suddenly it is all too full of flaws..

Relax.... it is just the beginning. Go grab that tub of ice cream, and cool down... Call your bestest friend and take a walk at the park or stare at the stars. Eventually, they will all  realize it is your big day, and the most important thing that you and family can do is smile and be happy about it. 

Don't be too hard on  yourself. Everything will be okay...

Stay tune for more, or drop me a comment or two of what you would like to add on in the next entry. 

Lots of love,

Jun

Wassalam