Till debt to us part...

Assalammu'alaikum readers!

Title sounds familiar? If you had read The New Paper, it obviously is and apparently is very much talked about for awhile now. If you haven't read it yet, here's the link.

I dunno how and why a wedding needs to be so expensive - I mean $100K? Seriously... - especially so when the bride or groom has no financial means to do so. Seriously, dude/dudette, so what if the whole world stood in awe watching your wedding? Why must you all die to live another living nightmare with all the unnecessary debts? Would the people who stood in awe watching you wed help you pay the debts you both had incurred?

In comparison, had you just "wear the hat that fits", they might just be one of two yapping about how "cheapo" or "low class" the wedding is, but hey... you are debt free and you eat when  you are hungry and sleep when you are tired.

Like myself, I would consider mine a little over - but yet doesnt cause a hole in my pocket. And the most important thing was that I enjoy my wedding!

So, let's recapped on my wedding expenditure..

I took a wedding planner (not really necessary, but I found her by chance and a lot of the necessity is under her wing). This wedding planner gets a distinction for planning my wedding so well and she did an awesome job in keeping my budget in check with what I want.

I remember her holding my hand down and ask if I really want what I asked for and if I am ready to top up the differences, and how much off my initial budget we are already heading towards. Now, my friends, this is an excellent example of a good wedding planner.

A good wedding planner, in my dictionary, had to prioritize your budget against your needs and then your wants. And she should always remind you that you are going off budget, and if you insists, well it won't be her fault. For my case, I said I want it, and asked if there is anything that can be compensated to have what I want. She left me a good choice of alternatives.

OK back to the dollars and cents.

My breakdown was pretty much simple.
Food/Catering with the buffet set, tables, toilet, dishwashers and service waiter/waitress (kendarats) - $9,900
(it was actually $9,500 but my parents requested a few add-ons and so it is $9,900)
This price is for 1000pax of guests
My wedding planner gave a complimentary 100 packets of food pre-packed (for VIPs to bring home)
Honestly, to be really honest, that is just about all that I remember in the breakdown! LOL

I paid a total of $17,900 to my wedding planner which includes the dais, void deck deco - incl table and chairs, bedroom deco, gubahan, DJ, photographers+videographers - incl outdoor photoshoot+video, make-up+hijab styling, 3 pairs of exclusively tailored and self-designed outfits (I get to keep one pair of the outfits), the door gifts (which I gave away to the groom because I had my own wedding favours handmade), signages (to show where my event is at the busstop and carpark entrances), wedding car deco, full henna design on both hands and feets and 1 complimentary make up for my sister. Service wise, I had to emphasize that I was glad we had our timings in check with the help of my wedding planner, my make up artist and my BFF. I really don't have to worry about anything except to have fun and smile away!

I spend another $300 on my invitation card, and another $300 on my 3-tier (all real) wedding cake.

So that is $18,500 in total. We used my father-in-law's humble Hyundai Avante as our wedding car so we didn't spend anything on rental. And this, is just on my side.

My husband spend about the same - the difference is, he shared it with his sister, who weds on the same day as us.

And that in itself, was rather a lot to me. However, we both made it happen without having any debts. And we are so glad we kept to our respective budget. I was really lucky to have that awesome wedding planner (apparently my wedding was last I heard of her, she continued her studies right after my event was over, and I am not sure if she is making a come-back).




And a few weddings I attended recently had spent $25K just on the food. I am guessing my kids will have to make us cook if the price continue to hike upwards. Otherwise, they will just have a simple home dinner to celebrate their wedding. And I guess I rather that than to see my children kill themselves everyday as the debt accumulates interest.

To me, a wedding can be raised up a notch just by having the right guests to make your wedding a day noone forgets! I have been to weddings a lot and had always observed. Sometimes the deco is so bare, and you knew in a glance, it was a wedding driven by a very tight budget, but the guests that were there, the people who welcomed us when we come by, they made us feel so honoured and we instantly forget the bare deco, and could only wish the bride and groom a very blissful marriage. Afterall, a marriage is not just on the wedding day, it is if possible always for a lifetime.

And there are also weddings which in a glance tells you it was kahching everywhere in every corner, and yet the people who were there to welcome us did it solemnly, in darkness and silence. So much so that the extravagant deco couldn't do much to hype up the event.

Alhamdulillah, as much as I foresee some scene, it didnt happen. I guess with this, I am so sure and would vouch that blood is always thicker than water. No matter how we may have offended or hated each other, we still would be there for each other, in silence, in darkness or in pain. We still feel a little happy when they are genuinely happy, and sad when they are in despair, and pain when they are in trouble. This what family is. They know how crazy and stupid we can be, but we don't have the choice to cut our blood ties. We will still somehow end up helping each other.

Even when I didn't say and show, deep down I always wished we could be like how we were when we were kids, when my mom is theirs, and their mom is mine. I wish that we can be as close as before, but somehow... words are not that easy to erase for the hurt it might have caused back then might still be fresh. How I wish, those words weren't read by me, weren't typed by them. How I wish... Honestly, I miss you. I miss all of you. Deep down it hurts so much when you pretend not to see me, and how stupid my ego and pride is to also pretend not to see you.

It hurts that much, and I still cry because I miss you, I miss those happy times. We will soon be neighbours somehow, and I always wonder if you'd just forget, and I can let go my ego, to just say Hi, and to just invite you over for a happy cuppa Latte Machiato or whatever you'd like. I wish I had cousins everyone else have, who is always a phonecall away to just talk shit and gossip only to forget what is said because it is all afterall, about family.

Oh wells, let's just hope my children will have cousins whom they can call best friends forever then!

On a good note, I shall end my write-up with happy recalls of how my family expands after marriage. I felt blessed that I now have a husband to rant on, complain to (and about), and still have his arms wide open to hug me when I need one! I am loved, and should always feel blessed for that.

And oh.... I was filmed! Oppss.. Seeecccrreeettt! Shall write after the scene is aired! I enjoyed myself that day!



Good evening, and have a great week ahead!

Xoxo,
Jun