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Saturday, July 25, 2015

24 hrs a day, Solat or no Solat?

Assalammu'alaikum family, friends, readers and followers of this blog. Here is the promised entry from the previous one. 

As mentioned previously, I have personally posted on my FB many of my rants and this is the other one of the many that touched a few of my friends to the point of sharing.:

"You know, we all have 24hrs a day... How is it that someone who never prays seem to be rushing through everyday and those who pray seem to take their time and still be on time?
First and foremost, pls dun feel that I am trying to announce to anyone of my deeds. Subhanallah, that is not my intention. It is however my way to reflect my ways and hope someone else would follow along with me to be better... If in anyway it had offended you, please forgive my sins for I am only human to be in such position.
As I istiqomah towards praying on time, and praying all five fardhus on time, I realize how there is always time for everything albeit running a little late sometimes. I used to reach home just at the nick of time before the azan for maghrib. Even before, when I neglect and not pray my zohor or asar. And I am always rushing through lunch, somehow I'd end up a tad late. Now, when I utilise a bit of my lunchtime to pray zohor, I have a gd 5mins to walk to the office, and now when I spend a bit of time after I end my work for asar, I still somehow reach home at the nick of time for azan maghrib. How? I couldnt explain.
When I used to think there wont be enough time to pray, I am always rushing through my 24hrs, I struggle to be on time. Now, in the span of 5mins, I can somehow make time to pray. I really cannot explain. I still run along, but I dun rush as much as I used to. It has been calmer even though it still seem to be a lot to think abt in my head. I am not even perfect yet. I am not always on time to answer His Calls, but yet, he had bestowed me so much love just by returning to Him. He gave me tests, and people to jump at me, at the same time gave me people who would advice and motivate me.
I hope many relatives and friends would return to Him, to be closer to Him, so we can together be better slaves and together we can see each other walk through that bridge to attain Jannah...
Start smalls steps.. We can do it... Let us fight and ease our struggles.. Don't judge, don't assume, but REMIND us, and GUIDE us. That is what we All need the most."

A few friends shared along their personal experience too, I am so happy we are all gaining from this and is stepping forward to do more, to istiqomah towards being a practicing Muslims.

Sometimes, when I sit down to think about my life, I cry in disappointment. What have I achieved? Only duniawi... What have I got to bring with me when my soul is pulled by Sakaratul Maut? What have I done in my free time? Stuck with my phone, overridden by my sleepy head, too engrossed in dramas? Busy with I-don't-know-what. Sometimes, when I miss my zohor, and do my Asar, and qada' my Zohor after, I sat down to think, how did I miss Zohor earlier? What was I busy with?

Sometimes, I recalled looking at the clock, it is 4pm, I should do my Zohor.. But somehow, something got me distracted and before I knew it, it is the azan for Asar. Sometimes, I can recall, what caused the delay, and plan in my head how to better manage the time. Sometimes, i cannot recall at all, time simply zoomed past.

Why am I always busy, but hardly anytime to pray? Hardly anytime to read the Qur'an, but so much time to fiddle with my phone, so much time to check out my social medias, why?? It doesn't take THAT long to pray, neither does it take THAT long to read a page or two of the Qur'an. Then why?

Why is it so "boring"? Works of Syaitan - of course!! Sometimes, delays are made so you will feel the strain when you have to qada', have you felt that before? It isn't so bad when all fardhus are done on time, I feel at ease and it is easier. It when I have to qada' back to back that I sometimes feel very burdened. I sometimes feel a strong urge to not qada'. Subhanallah. So fine, the work of Syaitan, isn't it?

We need to keep fighting, and praying for protection. Seek forgiveness, seek acceptance, then seek forgiveness for people around you.. Seek guidance, and repeat, keep repeating. Then towards the end, seek for strength to go through all hurdles of this lifetime, and help ease all our duties. Sometimes, I doubt if I still deserve help. I had to reassure myself, that Allah is all forgiving, and all loving, definitely He wont let me be in the dark, if I had come to Him for help and guidance. I keep seeking for my heart to be protected. There is so much influences, and whispers that sometimes, make me delay, that sometimes make me find it hard when it is not, and the most dangerous is when I feel like I am more deserving that others.

I hope I am always made known of this subconscious thinking and be allowed time to seek forgiveness and time to repent. I am not pious, neither am I perfect. All I want to do is to be a good practicing Muslims, all I want is that my fellow sisters and brothers also follow suit, repent, istiqomah and be a better person together.

Please remind me, and correct me. Even if I look like I don't like it, hate it or irritable. Please don't give up on me. I need all the support anyone can give, I need all the reminders anyone can give, and all the corrections that anyone is willing to show me.

The humble imperfect soul,
Jun

Wassalam

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