People around me

There are just so many people around me, and I guess I should just define who they are in my lives here today.. Let's just touch those who had made a difference in my lives in the last 5 years...

Skinny R

He made me a guinea pig for his blows and painful words. I endured his tourturous play for 2.5yrs. Although he was nothing but trouble for me, he made me learn quickly through things that happen after the mishaps that he had directly or indirectly caused. It was indeed easy for me to push all the blames to him, but I also know it is not fair, as I had brains to think about myself on my own.

He made me stronger is a very painful way. He is the cause of my dramatic position now, thanks to him, I had learnt to appreciate people who had always been there for me and appreciate the little things I had.

He is best to be forgotten now. It is best to put everything that happened behind us and move forward. And so I did...

Mr J

He came to the picture in a very dreamy way, I was lucky to have bumped into him. It was a beautiful memory to be remembered. He helped me up and out of the dark pit that I have been sitting on for far too long.

He made me realise that I was much better than just anyone. I should and I deserve all the best things in life. I was with him for over a year. At times, I do regret letting him go, he was afterall my best catch ever.

At times, I wonder what really pushed me to end my beautiful relationship. At times, I just past it off as God's test. I'd say, maybe we are just not meant to be together. Mr is still in my contact list, we do contact each other once a while to catch up with each other's lives.

Z

I was once with him 5yrs ago, but it ended adruptly on his request. I met him again last year, and we quickly got back together. It was probably my mistake or his to rush things. He was someone who would appreciate you for who you are and would appreciate if you could do the same. I ended my relationship with him, because I heard too much of him from people who happened to know him in the 5 yrs that we drove ourselves apart. He is still a piece of my memory and with him is my handphone and my helmet bag.. Those things, may not be the most expensive thing that I could have own, but those two items hold very fond memory of my past. And I am still hoping for those items to be returned to me.

Zad

He is very bubbly, very cheerful, but can be very vulgar all at the same time. He used to be with me everyday, no matter how tired, no matter what... But those days are just days that are to be remembered as he quickly changed. He stopped sms-ing, he stopped calling, he stop meeting..

We are not exactly together, but everyone else seem to think likewise. We are now just casual friends. The one thing I like about him is his ability to take control of each situation, he never revealed what really happened between us. He just let it be, and go on as per normal.

I missed his youngest sister.. Oh well.. Maybe we will meet again....

Freddd

He is one of my most respected friends among the IRC Chatters. He often gives me an eye opener to some things that are oblivious yet unseen. He is one person who is very upfront with everything. A person who's very direct, shows respect and trustworthy.

Darling Azlina

She is one of the chatters whom I clicked with, who speaks openly and one who always stands up for her rights. One who is very understanding, but at times confused. She is someone who knows her limits. One who like to play Mrs Fair & Square.

MIBI

He's full of crap really. Very influencial. No real identity. Searching for something dreamy, something almost inexistent. He's too serious, he's too conservative. He thinks too much of himself. He still has a LONG way to go. He's too naive, ignorant to what is in store and very much still IMmature. He's someone who is concerned about the outer look, thus he became someone who only look at the surface and never really look deeper into the situation.

MA

He's crazy and full of jokes. He's easy going, very adaptable, knows what he wants and how to get it. He often goes with the flow, let things settle on its own, not pushy, accepts everything that happened to him, and welcome anything that wish to come by. He is someone who values friendships even if it is with someone who no one wishes to associates with. He still has a kid in him, not the immature naive child, but the playful, friendly child.

He is always being himself, no matter what you may tell him in terms of changing of outlook. He's confident of himself, he knows himself. He has a very good and established inner self. That makes his aura very enhanced, which probably explains why he's has been having good luck with most things that he went through.

He's someone who knows what he's talking about. He is someone who always look deep into things, and would find a way to make things a little easier to tackle from the inside. He's got the brains, and the heart.. What more do you need in a man? Haha.. But men being men, they ain't really that perfect, but sometimes, imperfection are just what I'm looking for..

Mom

She is complicated, she has good intentions but she often look at the worst of all possibilities from any situation. She's pretty pessimist if you ask me. But she is someone who looks at the outer self, then look at the inner self. She's someone who likes to take a shorter route to almost everything. And I love her, and is loving her much more knowing she loves me just the same.

Dad

He's more practical. He's not that easy to talk to if you don't have your facts right. He's very wise, very particular with where his money goes and how you're gonna spend his share. He's someone I'd look up to whatever the situation is. Again, being a man, he barely knows what to do with emotions.. hehe.. My old man loves to joke and take things on a lighter note. He's cares and loves all his daughters, and grandchildren. He loves to pamper them more than to discipline them. But don't you try take advantage of his soft spot, coz when he blows, he really BLOWS.

I took a lot of resemblance from him, in terms of looks, I have his face shape, eyes and mouth. I also took up a lot of his characterism. And man, I love him more than anything else in this world.
Kak Yam aka Ummie

She's my eldest sister. She used to be my most hated person.. She's just way to serious, and always too strict.. And she always gets everyone into a bad mood when she is in a bad mood.

Now that she is a mother of three.. She appears to be as a mother figure. She shows her concern in a more motherly manner. She gives me advices, and sometimes, would talk me out just like how my Mom would.. And so I have 2 mothers here..

Kak Nana aka Mama

She is my second sister. She has always been loved by everyone. She has almost everything going for her. She's very lovely, but she has her mood swings. She's very secretive, and sometimes, she's so secretive, she would just suddenly blow. She can be stubborn. She's also quite a person who would like to go out with class. She's quite an upmarket kind of person.

Last and not forgetting.. My nieces and nephew...

I am an aunty of 5 young and playful little kids. They aged between 2 and 11yrs old. They are, Rose, 11+ yrs old, Nad, 9+ yrs old, Hilmy, 5+ yrs old, Nayli 3+ yrs old and Shahril, 2+ yrs old.

Rose was born when I'm eleven. She brings joy in our family, being the first grandchild to my parents.. And my first niece that I would be bringing up at that point. 23months after she was to welcome her little sister, Nad. She was a very cheerful girl for as far as I could remember, a little opposite of Rose, who was then pretty much of a cry baby. Ummie, Ayah S and my two beautiful nieces moved out when Nad is about 2.

In 2000, Hilmy was born. My parents are elated at receiving the first grandson, and so was I. But we barely hold him in our care. And so there wasn't much memory of him and his sister when they were babies.

In 2003, Shahril was born... At that time, I wasn't allowed to see Ummie due to some unsaid problems. I managed to see him when he was 11 months old. And I kept seeing him after.. he was just 6months older than my son if he were to be alive.

These kids... They somehow made me want to go to places.. To be someone out there whom they can be proud of, whom they can speak about to their friends, whom can be their hero when they need me.. For these kids, I will make myself a better person.. Just to motivate them to be much better and just so they know they can go further if they want to, and if they try hard enough.

Myself

I was once someone who is rebellious, who wouldn't sit and listen to what my family has to say, who was once someone who had taught that she had been through much and who deserved her freedom..

Now, she is someone who would voluntarily sits down with her parents to talk things out, to understand what they been through, to know them better, and to learn for as long as she breathes.

She is someone who knows her future, where to go and how to go. She is someone who believes that she can and she will go far..

This is just the beginning... And there will be no end till the end of world.