Today is not my day

Today definitely wasn't my day. It all started with me wanting to blog and typed so much and then was disappointed thirce before I decide to just type the last stupid sentence that never goes with the whole way the way I began it in the first place.

Then it was the freaking feeling of being so lost, being so wrong, and then the uneasiness feeling. Gives me creeps coz it made me think that something is going to go so wrong. Z texted me. It kindda made me feel worse, felt so guilty, felt so helpless... I know I did no wrong yet I felt so wronged.

Then I went to BBDC to do my Final Theory Test, being it a day that is so wrong... It was almost predicted that I fail this one. BUMMER! I have to wait till November before I can take a re-test! BUMMER, BUMMER, BUMMER!!!!

Then I saw Kak Za again. And again, my mobile battery is flat. So I had to write down her mobile number before I forgot. Kindda felt wrong as I didn't talk to her quite normally. Such a wrong day today.

Something is missing, my head is still heavy. Z is still in my head, so now I know why it's so heavy. He is now running around in my head, no wonder it pounds so hard. I begged him to get out, but he refuses and budge away, running some more. Now I have to chase him, but he ran so fast, my head is so so heavy. Come on, quit running around my head.. come here where I need you more. Urgh.. Why he so stubborn? Still wants to stay in my head, sigh.. Ok la.. I give up, you can stay there for as long as you want. Run around in my mind, in my brain, in my head.

I miss you, Z. I didn't know this feeling I have for you is so deep. I didn't know how much I've wanted you all along. I thought I had forgotten the power of love, but I was wrong.. All this time, it wasn't love. This is.. It felt different, different from all the rest. I dunno what's so special, but you made me such.

I see you even when I have my eyes wide open, I keep feeling your touch and kisses even when I wasn't dreaming. I heard your voice even when the radio is at blast. I could smell you even when I am smothered with the fogging smoke. I want to run to you and be in your arms again, I want to kiss that face that makes me complete. I didn't know I needed you this much.

I never thought I'd love someone so much after so many heartaches. But I guess you are different, I guess you're worth it, so please don't prove me wrong... Don't you ever break my heart, don't you ever make me cry, don't you ever love me any less...