Toddlers driving me insane!

Assalammu'alaikum family, friends, readers and followers of this blog! I hope your weekend was great and your Monday wasn't that blue..

I just read an article and this write up is definitely inspired by Katie M. McLaughlin's 7 Annoying Things Toddlers Do That Are Actually Good for Them

In the article, she mention these 7 points and as usual, I'd add my version in agreement plus maybe a few more that I think is part of growing up as toddlers.

Before I start I know many moms would wish to scream at my face that it is so easy for me to say because I don't have one of my own who I will have to face everyday.

Moms, I welcome you to scream all you want. Fact is, I've had my share of life with a kid to face everyday for 5years. She is turning 20 in 22 days' and is still around to tell you that it is true. And now I am facing one who had just turned 11months almost every weekend. I am human, I get tired too. And as a woman, I too have motherly instinct installed inside of me.

History has it that I had undergone miscarriage at 9weeks when I was 19 after being married for over 2 yrs. And present has it that I've been trying to conceive for a little over 2years now with no luck. Only HE knows how much I wanted one of my own, and I have never restrained myself from mothering any child if the need arise.

And to the many moms who had supported me, to encouraged to continue writing, who opened up to discuss many issues of today's parenting and children, who openly share my entries in agreement, I love all of you. You've all been kind. Thank you so much! Your agreement means the world to me, it means I am fostering my children right.

Make a total mess

With food! Oh yes! And especially when you are drained out of energy and just want the child to eat so we can all have a nice shower and be ready for bed, oh definitely yes! I've had that one before with my niece, just when you want to just get the feeding over and done with, the child just decides to take the plate and spoon feed herself, and sometimes, scooping it all with their hands (yes both of them! and sometimes legs too!). Worse is when she decides to sit on that cushioned chair... Arrrggghhh...

But guess what? She learned the words, right, left, food, eat, spoon pretty fast, faster than her more subtle sister who never really messed with her food. I mean everyone (especially children) learn best when they are having fun! But of course, like everything else, there is no guarantee.

So don't come suing us (writers of articles of the same subject) when your child don't learn the words after messing with her/his food, okay?

Insist on reading the same book over and over again

Yeah, Baby M had since made me memorize all her books. She loves the Bathtime one the most, and she always always open the book and put it to my face to make me read it to her. And her ABC song, and the Hi-5 Songs Compilations.

And oh.. the little children who never got bored with the "Let It Go" song... I memorized 70% of the lyrics already - not because I have a child who overly loved Frozen, but because I love it too! Heh!

And yes, Baby M is picking up some words, or the expressions to make when we read her books repeatedly as per demand.

You know, children learn by repetition and routine. They love it when they know what is coming next. They anticipate a repetition in everything, and they learn to adapt and be disciplined that way.

I've also read somewhere that children with consistent routine that never change are happier. I mean how would you be happy when you know 12pm in lunchtime and then someone just comes along and said NO, lunchtime is now at 3pm. How would you be happy about that? I guess the same goes to a child. They'd get very cranky when they don't know what to expect. They get very anxious, just like if I'd make you sit in a dark room and not tell you when I will come back, but just simply tell you to wait till I do. You'd be anxious trying to find out what I will do when I come back, what would you have to do when I come back, when will I come back, when will you be released.

I won't say it is by the time specifically but more of the order of things gets done (because children have no idea about the time concept), so they'd look for routines like, after eating, it'd be tv time, after that it'd be nap time, and when they wake up from nap, it's milk time, and after that it is a walk by the park. That kindda thing makes little children look forward to their day bonding with you.

Answer every single question with "No".

This I experienced with my second niece. She is now 18 turning 19 in December. The moment she learn to say No and the meaning, she kept saying NO. And yes, she was very independent, till today!

When she was a toddler, we asked things like,

"Can I carry you?"
"Can you hold my hand?"

"Want milk?"

"Sit down"

"Come here"

"Wear this one (one of the clothes)?"

All to which she said NO! to our face. Nice...

Baby M haven't learned to say NO, instead she is picking up "Dah" which means done.

So we asked her,

"Have you showered?"
"Ready?"

"Have you drank milk?"
"Have you slept?"

And of course we spoke to her in Malay (unlike my niece in which she prefer to speak in English), and she answered all with "Dah"

Cling to you for dear life

Some mothers dread this phase, but I enjoyed it. I was right all along to think that children who cling on someone is searching for security and comfort, and the more you pushed the child away, the more they'd be clingy. Else, the child would just find it in someone else. At this point, don't call out your green eyes filled with envy if you still refuse to reassure your child with a big hug. 

I love hugging children, especially when they wrap their arms around me. My nieces still does that and I can feel the sensational bonding between us. It is not describable by words. It is to be felt with the heart. My nieces cannot go without hugging and kissing me when they see me, and I have never been more proud that they are no a wee bit shy about giving me a hug and kiss even in public. 

And yes, this children do cling onto me at some point of their childhood, and they'd turn around to cling onto their mom when she returns, and sometimes their grandmother. And all the while, we as a family always always welcome their clingy-ness... Afterall they wont be clinging on to us when they grow a little older.

Throw temper tantrums

Of course! And it has to be in the eyes of new friends, family members whom you rarely meet, and judgmental strangers. And it is the moment of die if you do and die if you don't!

You give in and someone in the field would say, "Ya give in to a screaming child, and he'd be spoilt to the bones!"

You ignore and let him kick a big fuss and someone in the field would say, "Can you keep him under control? What kind of mom are you?"

Shut up! Really.... My child throws a tantrums. What exactly do you want me to do?? I am not exactly enjoying myself either! I am finding out what he is angry about, and I am no mind reader! 

I had to plan out how and what to say to him, to teach him about anger management in his tender age of 1 going 2! You think it is easy? Really? 

I cannot expect him to shut up and just not react when something upset him you know! Even we adults sometimes cannot contain that much of anger inside without expressing it out to someone, or can you?

Refuse to sit still

Helllloooooo.... I as an adult sometimes have issues with sitting still, so I am sure it is a little much to expect that out of a little kid who have everything to explore. Everything is new to him afterall, no?

Of course something under the table is more appealing, and if it is not, something over the table would be, and oh, under the plate, the cup, inside the bottle, the bowl, yeah everything!

A child is afterall a born explorer.. If he have no desire to explore, then he have no desire to learn. I don't want my child to not want to learn. Oh of course, he'd fall, pull someone's skirt or dirty someone pants, but he is only a baby trying to learn, right?

And all our children need to exercise don't they? Let them tire themselves, you'd thank them for doing so when they get totally worn out and sleep oh so well all night. *winks*

Dawdle

Yeah. This one pretty much slaps a lot of us in the face. 

And some of u asked, what is Dawdle... Heh! You didnt read her article yet, did you?

Well it is like being idle... delaying things that needs done... That sorta thing, and don't you dare lie about not ever trying to delay everything like you have all the time in the world.. We all have those days where we know we got to leave the house at 3 but find ourselves still in bed at 2.50!

Just like us, our little babies need us to slow down so he can do his thing like taking his time to get his shoes to his feet, or to just decide to drop the poop bomb just when you were at the door, or maybe starts to point to something and converse with you like never before. Allow your child to take his time...

This is also the very reason I never promise a specific time, instead I'd just say a rough time frame and send a text or call when I am near so the other mother or friend can come and meet us. And it is also the reason why I never can be mad when a fellow mom is late.

Also, when a baby or child wants you to stay a little longer with them, how can anyone resist right? It is just like when you see your mom and suddenly felt like hugging her and never let her go... It is that same feeling.

Now, this time round, I don't have much to add except this one...

Seeking attention

All babies and children yearns for attention. It is them being them, even some adults yearn for attention from time to time. Afterall you are all they have to seek attention from. You are the only person they can find comfort and security in. And if you don't give them the assurance and security they need from you now, when else would you be able to provide them just that? As this little babies grow, they'd make friends, have teachers, and would probably end up finding more comfort in them than in you if you don't assure them you will always be there when they need a hug.

If these little babies grow to know you'd always be there, they would always want you to be among the first people to know what they do. They would continue to grow and seek attention from you, because this time, they want to make you proud of them. So they'd want to show you everything, and I mean every single thing.. Like her new painting, her new teeth (or missing one), her new toy, the new word she just learnt, what she did in school, who she befriended, everything..

And if you pushed her aside now, she'd grow to not want to tell you anything because you are not interested. She would grow into adolescent full of resentment, finding comfort in complete strangers, and throw you the cold shoulders.

So mommies, daddies, caregivers, fosterers, adopters, give when they need it, give even when they don't want it.. Make it a habit, and pray they'd still talk to you when they grow into adulthood...

With that said, I hope all the mommies I know finds comfort that their babies are perfectly okay whenever they annoy you with all the mess, and everything irrinoying because now you know it is them growing to learn and something good is coming out of all these "pull-hair" moments.

Mom, I can't find my socks and shoes anywhere!!

If you have anything else to add, do leave a comment or drop me an email at junaidah_myusof@yahoo.com

Till another good entry,
Wassalam,
Jun