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Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Why again??!!

Like it's never enough... Haiz..

Unhappy again... He promised.. but in the end everything screwed up... I had to ask for everything... Why? Do I not deserved to be offered? Do I not deserve to haiz....

If i had to ask then he'll give, wouldn't that mean he's not sincere or that i dun deserve it?? I had been telling him day in day out what I want, what i expected. But nothing changed!!! Maybe for awhile it would.. But he never did get the true meaning or what i really mean and what i want...

And when he tell me umpteen times, and I never listened or failed to learn my lesson.. The whole earth would be shaken...

Why is it so hard for him to understand me? Why is it so hard for him to make me happy??

He kept saying i never appreciate... How am I to show him my appreciation???!!! Does everything needs a reward or something in return?? He promised... He broke the promise.. not a sorry if I never mention it... WTH??????

WHY????

I dunno know what love is anymore... I dunno if he loved me or if I still should be loving him anymore... Must I really repeat myself over and over for him to make me happy??

Ok fine, he's sick... When I asked him to meet me just him and me.. he would say 1001 reasons why he can't. When i say oh there's 14 of us.. He'd reply wait up 20 min i'll be there... WTH????!!!!!

He came, no kiss.. I said nothing.. Moving off home, no kiss... i said nothing.. He promised he'd bring me over to his place.. He didn't i said nothing in front of our friends.. I texted him when i reach home... And he said I'm being PETTY!!! WTH???!!!! He said he dun like it if i throw tantrums in front of friends and other ppl.. I stopped..

I keep trying to be positive... But he keep making me feel so useless and so upset.... WHY????

I hate him, but the more I hate him, the more I love him... I feel like killing him, but I want him all the more... What is this all about?? Why must I feel this way?? Will he ever make me happy and make me remain happy or is every happiness gonna end with double the sadness/anger??

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