Regrets

Assalammu'alaikum family, friends, readers and followers of this blog. Today is just a random thought that came through this morning as I was choosing my clothes to put on today..

Regret. Often we regret the things we didn't do more than for the things we did.

Once upon a time when I was young, I had a bucket list. A long list of things I wanted to do before I hit 30, maybe..

And now at 32, there are obviously things I may have regretted not finding time to strike off everything in the list.

So I find the time today to find that list. In fact I blogged about it before.

The list was rather cleverly broken down into these long terms:

EDUCATION wishlsit:
DEGREE in CIVIL/STRUCTURAL ENGINEERING
MASTERS in above field
PHD in something relevant

Financial wishlist/goal:
$5K paycheck in 3 years' time
Clear all debts in 2 years' time namely COURTS, CITYBANK EDU, OCBC CAR, etc
Able to support parents and myself without extra help, i.e borrow from friends/chipped in by relatives

Travel wishlist:
To travel to Australia for work/business trips.
To travel leisurely all over Europe.
To travel with girlfriends all over South East Asia namely Thailand, Indonesia, Malaysia for shopping and leisure treatments like spa, massage, manicure/pedicure, facial, etc.

Assets wishlist:
To own a house/apartment.
To own a business sideline.
To own a source of transportation.

Not too bad for a 23 yr old eh..

So, let's run it through...

Education wishlist: Didnt really happen as I hoped it would, but I have a Degree in Engineering Business Management, well okay la.. Masters and PhD never happened. Well at least I still challenge myself and took up classes and upgrades from time to time. I took the Basic Human Resource Cert last year, and got an A for one of the module. In August I will be going for the BIM Modelling in Struct Track.. Hopefully I managed. Being 32, with the brain having malfunctions in memory intake and what not, it is a challenge alright. And leisurely I took up sewing.

The Financial wishlist: Heh, I am debt-free for 3years going 4 now. Paycheck didnt exactly hit $5k, otherwise, i might find trouble getting the HDB Loan. ;) So it is a good failure on that one. But i am close, very comfortably above the half mark. And I have manage to support my parents in that same span, and will continue to do so, as far and as much as I can.

The travel wishlist never happened. Except for one all-girls trip to Langkawi in 2008 (I think). I planned many times to go KL with my bestfriend but it haven't happen yet.

Asset wishlist. Well ya, I have owned our very own HDB flat, I do own a business sideline, and own transport, yes and no.

So clearly, I regret not travelling enough with my girlfriend or alone. I had only travelled alone once in 2006/7 to Shanghai. I wished I had travelled a lot more to a lot more places either alone or perhaps with just my bestfriend.

I missed taking a random bus to nowhere. I miss taking urgent leave to head down to Melaka. I miss making a trip to Changi Airport to fly somewhere at the last minute, to India maybe, or to Paris. Now, that seemed too far fetched.

Me, becoming a wife, everything changed to a whole new perspective. Everything needs my husband's permission. Everything needs some thinking, and many reconsiderations follow..

I regret not going to Turkey to take the hot air balloon, I regret not rock climbing professionally. I regret not making the career switch earlier. I regret not jumping on the wagon for a fun career instead of a thick wallet. I regret not taking up Quranic Recital classes earlier so I can study the content. I regret not taking up the weekly classes and earn my ukhrawi cert.

Amidst those regrets, I am glad we did a family trip, although not the full squad. I am glad my husband and I brought parents to Port Dickson for a quiet holiday along with my bestfriend. I am glad we did make a family holiday. And perhaps it is time for another short, quiet holiday.. Bintan maybe? Or maybe Mekkah..

Who knows what the future has for us? Embrace yourself and empower the family.

Not so regretful girl,
Jun

Wassalam