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To those loyal readers, do read up my Malay Novel - Cinta Seorang Janda [Bahagian 2]. The first episode has been published following my completion of 5th episode behind the screen...

I really hope I can find a publisher who is interested to make it into a book.. Perhaps I'd try the library...

Anyway, Mr Nice Guy... I just hope he does what he has to do soonest. I know I gave 6 months, but I'm really getting on my edge with my jealousy issues.. I tried my best, but I couldnt lie about it for the months to come...

And.. I really hope 2010 would be a better year for everyone, me and him especially.

At least, give me a job to start with... Because with a job, I can start off my trial and error for my low capital business venture. I really hope I can execute what I had planned..

I am getting desperate to hold a job... I can't believe it's been 9 months since I was retrenched, and not get a replacement full time job permanently - that is.. I am seriously running dry.. no longer has reserves to move on.. How I managed to pull through this far, is still a mystery within myself. From close to $3K a month, I actually am surviving with $300 a month.. for the past 6 months at least. I seriously dunno how I do it.. But I did it... Yes, there're outstandings - that I cannot deny..

Perhaps, I should start changing my inner self, and slowly let it grow to show on the outside.. Perhaps that would help...

Oh.. I've been having strange weird dreams... Totally totally weird dreams..

Anyways, I hope I can be strong enough to make the change possible.. for the better, for my own good, for my future, for everything..

But I can't do it alone.. I need you, Mr Nice Guy. I need you to continually guide me.. To be there for me... And I really need you to do what you have to do, and totally start from scratch again.. I will always be there for you. And I wanna to at least be there for your kids.. Insya'Allah...

And that will only happen if you allow me to... Otherwise, I'll leave it to Him.. May He guide us both to the right path, to remain strong, to go through everything... to settle everything smoothly..