Wo ist der lieb?

Sometimes I wonder, where the feeling of being love and wanting to love has gone...

I just couldn't accept another being anymore, it suddenly feel so uncomfortable to hold hands, to hug, to kiss.. It just seemed so unacceptable now. I felt like I'm being used, so is made to be used.

I don't feel the need anymore, it seemed like love is so disgusting suddenly. I am just contented with my own work, my own life, and memerized myself in the love among my friends and no more than that.

Asked WV to pick me up as I need to collect my prepaid from Sharmie at Yishun and I have no grounds what-so-ever of how to get there and she can't make it out to meet me up due to time constraints. So WV picked me up and he sent me up to Yishun then back home.

That was simple, being friends, nothing more, just sit and talk about things that make you laugh and think of nothing more. Life is already complicated and love seemed to have made it even much more than just complicated. It's so much clearer and simpler when we put our cards on the table and state clearly what we want. And it's fun when that other party understand your needs, but it's mere hell when the other party thinks he understand when he wasn't even paying attention to any word I've been saying. It's worse when he asked me what I've just explained to him before.

It's hard to say, I just don't understand why some tend to push it further. It's worst when they don't realise that he's pushing and is pushing me even further away...

Sometimes, I yearn to set my own family up... Sometimes, I yearn to be alone and never have to think of another person before myself, then again, I've always put everyone else above me. It's hard to explain what I want, some thinks I'm just taking advantage.. Others think I'm easy and takes advantage of me, and when I turn the table around, they tend to say I'm a hypocrite or worst, a slut..

It's hard being me, I'm not an open book to read to start with. It's not easy trying to understand me. I speak of a language barely anyone understand, I see things that not many will catch, I think of things that noone will ever get their minds on, I hear voices that noone listens to and I feel stinges of death where noone will be..

If it's hard just to understand me, then how will one handle me and my unpredictable character and mysterious traits?

die Sache ist die, ich brauche aus den Schwierigkeiten herauskommen.... Ich möchte meine Ruhe haben, Bitte nicht stören! Lassen Sie sich nicht abhalten!

Leb wohl!