11.75 of 12 Months of 2017

Assalammu'alaikum family, friends, readers and followers of this blog. For a change, I am writing this right from the start.

As opposed to last months, I didnt fetch Baby M until the last day, so Friday the 1st went on with getting her up and ready, off to school, then I rushed to my mom's for her therapy appointment at NUH, then had went off to pay some installments, head home, cook and think about sewing. That day, I cant stop myself from thinking about how life would be if I dont have to work. It is not really about the amt of time I get to rest, After almost a year of Friday offs, I do know that rest is very far fetched. My day is filled with things to do and time run by too quickly, but.. I still want to just not work anymore.

Most of my Fridays are filled with greatness of accomplishments. Although small, it is beneficial. I cook, and feed. I wash and clean. I get to accompany my mom for the appointments. I get to relax a little sending Baby M to school. No rest, yes.. But I accomplish so much without rushing all the time. Everyday I spend time trying to cut down my financial commitments. Everyday I try find a solution so some of those commitments can be passed off to somebody else.

And everyday, I struggle not because it is not possible, but because my dearest no-risk husband is just not confident enough to let it happen. I just need a few months or a year max of no work. I just need the break... We didn't discuss so much about since the last one.

2nd came and my sisters decide to drop by and have some ladies' day. So I went out with them to vivo after they drop by for lunch. I had a good time. It has been like forever since we do this, and we truly would deserve this no less. Of course I cooked before I leave with them. Got home finish off my laundry and rest.

3rd is a little solemn, my husband went for his usual cycle, and I and Baby M is home, I spend a good hour or two taping the patterns i signed up to test up, cut fabric, and attempt to sew as husband appears at the door. Obviously, that got on halt, as we decide to go out early to the wedding invitation because Baby M's Mama is coming to fetch her this afternoon.

We then decide to go to my mom's after sending Baby M off, then to his parents'. Then home sweet home, with me feeling horrible because monday is approaching and I am still working.

4th is here, in the office, wishing hard.. wishing and praying so hard, that one day my affairs will be at ease and I can quit and be home...

All the weekdays that followed after the 4th seemed super long without Baby M. She didnt go to school that whole week, being down with fever and all. I fetched her on Thursday night 7th December. We stayed home whole of Friday hoping to feel better.

We went to my in laws on 8th, and visited my dad on 9th, then we went to attend a wedding, and we were out the whole Sunday with my family, full squad minus Naad & Uncle Daddy.

For Pusara Aman to Admiralty Park Playground...

Shahril rode the bicycle for the first time too! He did amazingly well and right the first time! So proud of him! Thanks Obike for making it possible! :) But too many bikes were spoilt there. Loose chains, half handle bars, lost seats, etc. Similar case with OFO....

And we had to send Baby M to her mama that night, and all returned all quiet....

Once again my weekdays are here, and it will be long and quiet...

I got sick, but I have exceed my MC and leave, so I had no choice but to hang on till the new year.

Weekdays were tough, but when you have a baby to look forward to, I guess one can bear it a little better. We picked her up on Wednesday and enjoy some Sliced Fish Soup from Seah Im Food Centre. It is the nicest ever, the fish stock was solid! I think it is the brother to Taksin Beef Noodle shop, because they have the same bowl and everything.

I send her off to school on Thursday with much excitement from the other kids, afterall she hasn't been to school for more than a week. Paid her school fees using the CDA card her mom hand to me. Got home to a very sick husband, fever running high. He feeling all cold, took out every jacket he can find, put on socks and had terrible sleep, waking me up every few hours.

Friday came early for me, I was startled at 1am by the sick husband and couldn't get back to sleep, so I got up did my laundry, ate whatever I had left because I got hungry. For the first time, my dory soup finished before the sun came up the next day. I lied down on my bed, watching my baby, trying to fall asleep, and just as I was about to, all alarm went off. But I guess Friday was better, because she woke up, and asked for breakfast at home, so I made her cereals, gave her meds, and we got to school. I went home to my sick husband, cook him lunch, and went to my mom's to accompany her for her eye check up at Jurong Medical. We got to Clementi just in time for heavy rain to pour, so I was stucked until the weather calm down to pick Baby M up from school, head home, and out again to Decathlon. I have no idea where I got all the energy to be up and running from 1am to 10pm that day.

Someone enjoy testing all kinds of camping equipment while we were there...

Baby slept on the way back and refused the diaper, so I nervously went on with it. We woke up dry. But I had to pay back all the sleep I lost on Friday, so I slept in with my baby while my husband got ready to work. I finally broke up with the bed at 9+. I cut some fabric, sew some leggings (because I am too lazy to wash and wait for laundry to be dry. I rather sew a new one. And so I did. Baby woke up at almost 10am, I asked if she knew she slept diaperless, and asked if she wants to go to the toilet. Of which she replied with a shocked face

"M tk pakai pampers, sleep?" I laughed and said yes, and Mak is proud of you! She smiled and said she wants to take the shower, and that we did.

She got rice and soup for breakfast, and cereals, and bread. Oh yes she got appetite! Me and her, we just laze our Saturday, chasing away my potential fever from all the rain I caught while on the way to pick her up from school, and from her school to the MRT. She was dry, thanks to the raincoat.

So we just lay down and watch a lot of Netflix, enjoying each other's cuddles. She ate a lot of bread and cereals, and rice and everything. Husband got home to sleeping beauties, who promptly got up when he stepped in. I almost forgot about my takoyaki order from Cutiepatch Kitchen! Did I tell you she is just a block away? So convenient to self collect!

I watched Walt before Mickey and I felt so inspired after. I will write a separate entry on this one - I think it deserves an entry on its own for all the inspiration it had given me.

I didn't attend the get-together at his cousins, because I am just not up for it. Being at the verge of falling sick, makes me vulnerable and tired and just not eager to step out of the house. Glad he let me stay home. Baby switched all the lights, brought out our blanket and said we are watching movie. I call it bedtime at 10pm, and we were gone in like under 10minutes.

Sunday came, husband went out being an early riser and all, while we - once again slept in. Day 2 of being diaperless and waking up dry. So proud of my soon to be 4yr old! I woke up and tried to finish up the Takoyaki, and before I knew it, it is time to get ready and go out - again!

We have 3 weddings to attend, we decide to forgo one. There was no train service between CCK to Jrg East to like Outram - I think. So we relied on shuttle services and met Mama H, Abg and Hamtaro at Jurong East to go attend the wedding together. We then head different directions, my sister and the kids went back to mom's and we went to another wedding and to my inlaws, before heading to my mom's.

That pretty much sums up my weekend and Day 3 of Baby going fully diaperless. I know she did extremely well when she woke me up at 3am to use the toilet, sat on the toilet bowl, urinated, washed, flushed and washed her hands, all under my guidance and careful sleepy eyes, and she climbed back to bed and throw her hands around my neck when I lie down next to her.

I send her to school today and told her that her mama will be fetching her after school and that we will meet again on Wednesday (big hope). Just like that I feel like my days will be long until Wednesday come.

Welcome to 3rd week of December.. Just the third week. One more week to Christmas, and another short run-away from home weekend. Our anniversary is coming, then Christmas, then New Year.. So, what have I achieved this year? Other than training Baby M for a full potty trained, and diaperless, I have nothing much to say. I exceeded my MC, my leave, my health, my budget.. Business wise, I got into embroidery, and that brought a lot of life into my business. Alhamdulillah.

I still secretly wish I have 20hrs a day to sew or embroider, to unleash my creative side, to create new things, and find that special niche to represent my brand. To find that one product that everyone will know it is mine, to find that one creation that will flourish my business and bring it to new heights. I know it will take time, and of the 504 days since I registered my business (2nd August 2016), I have learnt a lot, of the things I like to do versus the things my customers wants to buy. They are usually very different products. Of how many hours I would like to work on a certain product versus how many hours it took to put the product together from scratch, most of the time eat into my family and personal time. I am continuously thinking - even in my sleep - on how to make a product better, if it should be improvised, left as is or just forget about it, of how I should market my business (which doesn't happen a lot because after all the hours I have done working on my products, I am just left so tired), of how and when I should take my business more seriously and give it the time and effort it needs to rise up. However nicely I want to put it as, Sg is expensive and we need to still bring money into the bank so we can get food on the table and pay the bills. The neverending bills.

I think I will just end it here, and let it be up. I will post another entry for my anniversary week right through the new year eve.

Have a great advanced happy holidays everyone!

Until the next entry,
Jun

Wassalam

11 of 12 Months of 2017

Assalammu'alaikum family, friends, readers and followers of this blog. My favourite month of the year.. November - A month filled with birthday of special people inclusive of mine!

So the first begin with me going to work as usual. Oh yesterday was a rainy day, and I used the wet weather shoe my husband bought us from Decathlon and it was superb!! Great grips - so no fear of slipping off the slippery road surface, it was covered so it was comfortable to change gear! Waterproof, so my socks are not 100% soaked by the time I reach my destination, just a little wet because duh! It doesn't wrap my whole leg. LOL!

The waterproof pants is also superb! It felt light, and breezy and kept me dry crotch and all. I cant say for sure, so I will re-review this in 3months' time. The top of my raincoat is a 3month old waterproof jacket, also from Decathlon. I tell you these stuff seems to be of better quality than any other raincoat I have tried. It cost $27.90 for the jacket, I think it cost $15 for the pants and $8 for the shoes. Cheaper than Rev-it whatever version it may be.

Birthdays.... 2nd is mine... We just went to have a private dinner out, three of us.

4th is Baby M's mama and my Mama H's birthday... It is also Baby M's graduation concert. She is so adorable up on stage!

5th is my husband's - we went to the Zoo with Mama H, Abg & Hamtaro! And as Mama H was queuing up to get tickets, a lady approached us and asked if we need 4 tickets and well, yea! And she went like come along with me, i had free tickets and short of 4 adults.. What a birthday treat eh!! I was just teasing Mama H to psyco the staff to let her in as a bday girl, and look what greeted us! Alhamdulillah! Thank you stranger! You will be remembered and your gesture is very much appreciated!

Aprila, Gambi & Jati!

3 little ducks went out one day, over the hill and faraway....

6th - I had an appointment at NUH to hear all the results from both of us. Results were not fantastic, but it is not the end of the world. We were given some options that we can take, and we took the whole day thinking about it. We brought her out to the airport after school, her pleas to bring her on the aeroplane... one day baby, one day.. One day, you will travel with us on an aeroplane all around the world.

Of late, I keep imagining a scenario that would not let me care for Baby M and I cried.. And I think I stressed out a little and developed fever after sending her to school on Tuesday. As usual, she didnt make it to school on Wednesday and Thursday, apparently, she too ran a fever.. We seem to have locked a connection there since forever. I miss you Baby.. Even for that one day I go without you, I miss you. I don't know how to live without you. The thought itself kills me. How baby, how?

As much as I dread it, it was probably for the betterment, her mom said I don't need to fetch her until Wednesday when I return from my holiday. Looks like the fever will stay.. I hope you will be better soon, baby!

10th - Off we go for our post birthday celebration - just me and him
We returned to Langkawi. Our plan really is just to chill out. Like disconnect and rejoice what we have. I didn't plan a real itenary.. Just maybe revisit Telaga Tujuh, in hope we can hike to the top.. Enjoy the beaches and pasar malam. We may be renting a car.. but not entirely sure. Maybe we can make do with a bike. I don't know..

So we packed at the eleventh hour, right on Thursday night. And off we go!

The day FINALLY came and... I've posted my whole itenary here.

We were totally having post holiday lagged and lazed the rest of our Monday. We were very tempted to fly again for a short trip to KL and back that night, but decided we need the $ more than to drain our energy in KL, so we grab some lunch slot at Andes and head right back to home.

I had another day of leave, and I refused to move until almost noon. Managed to cook though. I just wish I could spend my whole life doing just this. At least I accomplished buying groceries and cook for the husband and my stomach of course, and I get to watch shows after shows.. If I had another day, I'd be sewing a storm, I promise! But I got bills to pay, so I need to head back into the office.

Wednesday cheered me on with the hopes to fetch Baby M home! Oh how we missed her!!

Guess what she said to me the moment she woke up at my house? Hmm.. no I love yous or I miss yous.. but "Mak, have you packed my panties for school tomorrow?" I had to laugh at her face. haha. Of all the things she could ask me, all she is concern abt are her panties for school! For one, I know she had her priorities right, she knows school is important and it is good to remind me of the important things. And no worries, she did say her I miss yous after that. Oh how I love her so much!  I don't know how to deal with next year's plan.. But I know I have to.

We went to my mom's the next day after school because both my mom and her is missing each other. She was excited to end school to go my mom's place, really. My darling husband sent her to school that day, because he was on leave, and I was running late.

You know, my biggest pet peeves in the office is those colleagues who come into the office all so sick to spread them germs to me. Nothing is more soothing than a cup of warm tumeric milk to loosen all my phlegm and tame the cough. Hopefully it does its magic in increasing my immune as well.

I cant rotate the picture, annoying, but oh wells, we make do! 

For the recipe, you can ask google, and adjust to your tastebuds, if necessary.

For mine (I am not going to pin myself responsible if you body reject this)
- a cup of milk of your choice (or more if you want more than a cup)
- a teaspoon of tumeric
- 1-2 spoons of honey
- tea bag (optional - I had too much tumeric and added a teabag if taste wonderful!)

Put the cup of milk to low heat saucepan, once it is warm, add tumeric and the other ingredients to boil, then strain it all into a cup, and drink it up. I felt horrible the first 2 minutes, coughing like mad (I guess it is trying to expel the phlegm) but after that, it is soothing to my throat, and I felt great.

My BFF should be in Chennai now. I hope all her plans goes very smoothly. It is a little sad that I didnt get to send her off.

I received a blog review request, one after a long while! I cant wait to do it! So exciting!

We had a parent-teacher meeting scheduled on Saturday 25th November at 9.30am. Don't ask. ;) It was all good though. Except she cried because she fell asleep, and arrived at school a little lost to be greeted by Teacher Nina and Ustazah Liyana. shocked I guess. It felt like it was her first day of school all over again. We had a good chat with Teacher Lin and Ustazah Liyana. Generallly same comments, abt her natural self being more of a leader who helps and shows her friends the hows.

That Saturday, was very long.. We visited both our parents and spent some time with them. So after the parent teacher meeting at her school, we head to Clementi for quick breakfast before crashing my mom's. I spend a good portion of it sleeping my menstrual cramps away.

We then went to have late lunch at Seoul Garden at Jurong Point, then treat the little girl to some seedplay, before we head down to my in-law's. And then home sweet home.

We planned a day out for Sunday just walk off and make memories kindda day...

We walked through the Helix Bridge, I was involved in some of the drafting and 3D modelling in this one, although a small part, I felt proud... Until I felt vibrations and start being paranoia. Hahaha!

I enjoy watching her run, play and pose.

The following Monday, I felt crappy and felt like I should quit my job and just not work, or if I need to, I rather do part time, or temporary work like 6 months job, 1 mth break, 2 months job, 1 mth break, 6 months job kindda thing. But what is out there which is like this? I don't know. And having been working in a special 4 day work week arrangement, returning to a fixed 5-day work week will drain me in many ways. A lot of my appointments are on Fridays and Mondays. taking leaves like that will give me a null in less than a year, or exceed the MC quota in no time.

I felt like I am in a midlife crisis being on this cross junction all over again, I just suddenly don't know where to head, where to go, what I want. I don't seem to know anymore.

29th is my Ummi Yam's birthday, and it is also today that my Brother In Law is off for Umrah.

Today Baby M will also be back in my arms - hopefully. And also the start of all adjustments to happen in preparation for a break off work - to try live off a single income, maybe. I don't know what lies in the future. It will have strains, mood swings, and tough days, but I am sure more good will come out of it. At the most, it backfires, and I am back at work before the one year target, but at least I can say, I have tried doing it. Or maybe one year will drag on to three years, and we all live happily ever after. I mean who knows, right? I know it is only a para away when I mentioned this, but I guess that is because I wanted it so much for far too long already. I am just not living the way I want to live. I felt terrible hanging on to something that doesn't give me back some happiness or satisfaction. It is really horrible inside...

I don't think tomorrow with be much of a difference, so I shall just post this up with lots of hope for better things to write about next month.

Lots of love,
Jun

Wassalam.

10 of 12 months of 2017

Assalammu'alaikum family, friends, readers and followers of this blog. How has October treated you? Mine has been good, alhamdulillah!

Beginning of October was busy completing my biggest single order in history for Sewbasic : 15 heart-shape zipper pouch, 15 cute animal cordkeepers and 18 names embroided on square snaptags!

10 broken needles later, the final handover batch is so perfect it made all my struggle and hardwork well worth it!

It felt so good to see the person squeal in excitement as she receive them! I am sure the people she is gifting them to would appreciate them as well.. 

Remember Teachers' Day last month? I made a small gift for Baby M's 4 teachers, well she returned on Childrens' Day eve with 3 bags full of gifts from teachers! So many! And I realize she has more than just 4 teachers la.. Teacher Lin, Teacher Dina, Teacher Nina, Teacher Yati, Ding Laoshi, Ustazah Liyana, Mdm Nor, so many! I dunno who else.. How do one actually find out all of their children's teachers' name?? 

That aside, we participated in a 3km walk that weekend, and took the chance to sew Baby M her long awaited shorts! Since my cutter had done the cutting for me, I really have no further excuse to not do it.. so I did...

I did the Sycamore Shorts and lengthened its length by 5" to make it a little more modest. It is so easy to spot her from far with such a unique shorts on. 

Some pictures I took of the event:

We took part of the the 10K steps challenge thingy, so had to collect our device.. spend an hour in queue.. 

I had a HSG test scheduled the following day.. 9th October 2017.. 

Nervous as hell, doesnt help that 2 person ahead of me had complication and took longer than scheduled (both men, so must be a different procedure la). So my 12nn appointment got pushed all the way back to 3.30pm or so. So I bought myself a sandwich from the vending machine, because I am so lazy to get changed and try enjoy every bite while waiting.

I texted my boss and he gladly allow me to come back on Friday morning to make up for this half day. I am so blessed to have such a kind and understanding boss, really! 

So my turn came to lie on the table.. I found out my tubes were blocked, and I wont know the next course of action until my appointment with my Gynae in November. And because I know I will overthink about it, I look out for pattern testing to apply and I was also in dire need to murder all my stash so I can start my purposeful hoarding instead of keep it for I don't know what kindda stash, and that I saw and did! And thankfully, I got accepted to be one of the tester! How nice!

I initially doubted as I see a lot of testers having to size down, to my measurement I am Sz0, so I wont have a base to size down if it is really required. So i waited for a bit, asked and decided to just do a straight Sz0 with zero modifications. I like how she create the hood, I will probably use this technique for all the hoodies I have hereon. And I finally figured how the fake layered sleeves were constructed. So cool! I like the way she does her instructions too. I wrote more about it here!

I sew up Baby M's saree for the Deepavali Celebrations in school on 17th, but her mom found her real saree, so maybe my intentions won't go as planned. It's okay la. Whatever. I am a bit upset. But I guess I can always dress her up with my self-sewn saree on some forced open house, maybe invite myself to my bff's house. I don't mind!

Here's what I sew for her! Her reaction is a little too much, I tell you!

She asked to wear it again the next day, and the next day and the next day, but of course I didnt allow it. :p And I sort of regretted it when her mom text me to make me don her in her saree instead of this. Oh wells.

Also, this Baby M now demands to be called Kakak. So Kakak la. May her prayers come true!

We had my brother, his wife and my mom's second cousin over at my crib that weekend.. And my brother is a splitting image of my Bapak. His voice, his gestures as he tell familiar stories, the way he holds his kain pelikat, the way he mumbles as he sit to watch us (baby M particularly). Really doesn't help that Baby M refuse to call him Obek but insisted in calling him Atok instead.

Speaking of Baby M, as a kakak, she now insisted in carrying her own bag. Too cute la.

Oh, my mom loves the fit of the Boxerwear I made her. Yeay! I can probably utilize all the cotton lycra in my stash for that now.

So on Tuesday, 17th October, for the Deepavali Celebration at her school, she wore the saree her mom bought last yr. Not her fit but probably worth just one more wear. She looked way too adorable!

The Indian blood in her is so strong! She instantly knew how to hold the saree and stand.

As we ended our holiday, and was getting ready for work, my husband received a call to say his mom had fallen in the toilet and had to be rushed to the hospital. I had to go to work as my office will have an audit tomorrow and I had to do all the filings (which Engineers had conveniently kept unfiled for a year!).

I decided to work on the patterns I got from One Thimble Issue 14 - the Amuse Boho & the Trillium Maxi Dress and Tunic this week. In which I discovered a missing step in the latter. I reach out via the One Thimble grp and got in touch with the designer. I highly encourage everyone to do that really. Things can get overlooked even after world tours, really. I mean, we are human, aren't we?

Sometimes, even as a tester (speaking of myself), we get too excited, and overlook the instructions because we are so focused on fit issues, or stuff like that. Trust me, it happens! Even with the Alexis I didn't realize one step was to be interchanged, until someone highlighted it. I followed it through, I really thought I had paid attention to the instructions, but yet, I missed it. So ya I trust the designer when she said I am the first to flag this missing step. So happy to help more than anything.

Just be nice, be human. Talk and reach out to the people behind it before leaving a bad review of any kind. Really. It could be a really genuine mistake. Here's what my muslins of the two looked like, I haven't got time yet to make them in the intended good fabric, but these are made to wear out already. I love them despite the many mistakes, after all I haven't sewn woven in a long long time, and had forgotten some basics. I mean it, these skills require practice, and when you don't you will get those skills rusting and in need for a good polish.

The Trillium, I am horrible with curved hem for wovens. So for the actual one, I think I will stick with a maxi option. 

The Amuse Boho - it is actually quite a breeze to put together despite the fancy detail at the front yoke! 

Close up of the Trillium - of course I used snap buttons, I will no way do a nice button hole.. 

Me in the Amuse Boho, of course I fell in love with it! Roomy for some bottomless buffet!

We went to my BFF's house that weekend just because we want to. It has been a long time since we met and we just had to! Baby M confidently call her Aunty Deepavali and we had a good laugh abt it. Jojo (my bff's dog) had grown old, but still as excited as a puppy! Naughty one indeed!

Aunty liked Baby M so much, she told my bff to get her a suit when she visit India. Haha.. So happy to know that Baby M is loved wherever she goes..

I was sure I had planned to make something as a farewell gift for my colleagues the moment I knew they are leaving... but today is his last day, and I had nothing made..

We did go for a farewell lunch though..

We went to Eighteen Chefs at Star Vista. The Salted Egg Pasta is yummy!!!

Back on the farewell gift, I guess I'll have to gift it if he is ever coming back to Sg to visit with his family. We only spoke a lot of personal level on his last few days in the company, he has been doing a lot of charity community work back in his village, providing monetary support and the likes to the villagers who have lost their homes to the recent flood, bought uniforms for the students in the school (as the children had lost homes and no real clothes to put on, much less books and the likes), he said it is just 1000 rupees.

He added, "very little for us here, but it means the world to them, the smile they give me is nothing money can buy." I agreed. For someone who had lost their homes and everything they ever own, $1 will make a difference.

For that I asked for his FB so we could stay in touch, who knows I can contribute in his next big charity drive. Who knows I could be of some help, who knows I might want to visit Bangladesh and contribute something there? Who knows what opportunities the future will bring us?

Ah, the final leg of October... I haven't run/cycled for 2 weeks, I am beginning to feel lousy again. I am turning a year older soon too.

I tried another free pattern, this time from George & Ginger - the Lovesick Bralette. I love how easy and quick it comes together, and I can surely make use of good remnants too!

I got a few small orders in between.. A name tag for a school going boy, his mom couldnt decide which shape to go for, so I casually suggested getting both. And she said ok.. Nice customer this one! A keeper, definitely!

Name Tags are always very practical and useful!

Also had an order for mini tissue pouch.. But this one I made didn't impress her, so I need to recall how I did my first one and deliver that. So take note, guys.. Keep the pattern drafted and keep it. You never know which prototype will be in demand, really.

So I made this, and will probably sell it as is.

I added two D rings so the free end strap with hook can hook on either. 

Keen? You know where to find me, yes?

Oh Friday was spent at the hospital with my mom's appointment back to back, the thing that looked like bone mass behind her knees are found to be the gout crystals accumulated and just happen to stay there. Since mom can tolerate what she call "regular" pain, the doctor said there is no need for any surgery, however, if at any time before the next review, she finds it painful and unbearable, she can swing by to do it. I wonder what can help loosen those crystals and get them out of the system. Any ideas?

So.. tomorrow will be the last day of October, I don't really have anything major happening, so I guess this will be it for October. Time to prepare for the many birthdays coming up in November!

Until the next monthly summary,
Jun

Wassalam.

7 of 12 Months of 2017

Assalammu'alaikum family, friends, readers and followers of this blog. 2 weeks into July already, that's just how fast time flies...

I had a good week and month so far. All the amazing stories and fabricated "truth" going around of late got me so amused. Dirty techniques that I've known about since forever, almost. (And so glad someone else sees it through and through like I do after finding myself alone for a few years! Haha! and it seems like more people are starting to note the pattern too!)

I don't know why some people had to stoop THAT low, and then go around telling everyone it was us/other people who is doing what they did. Whatever it may be, I guess a lot of us, who had seen through their lies, had grown up much wiser and much stronger to just laugh at it, ignore or just pretend nothing happened. We grew to not react. What is there to react to when it is all fabricated, sometimes distorted. Let it be. I believe the truth will prevail, even if it takes a thousand years, the truth will prevail.

It is okay to slander me, you may get away with it scot-free.. it is okay... I will claim it for what it is worth after-life. I trust Allah SWT more than all the words fellow human has for me. And it is okay if you do not wish to agree with me, and do not wish to see things the way I see. It is okay to be different.

Wrong is wrong even when EVERYONE else is doing it. And right is right even when NOONE else does it. It is okay. I know I am clear with what I am doing. I don't even have to say anything most of the time..

So.. July has been great, just that a lot of memories with my dad popped up on facebook and got me a little teary, especially when it is a picture of me and him. I miss him oh soooo dearly. I miss him so much it hurts badly. He always have all the right words to say even with his Dementia.

7th July, 9 years ago, year 2008... I had just went through my 2B TP and passed. Heh.. 9 long years eh... And what have I accomplished in the riding world? Well... Owning an Aprilia as my first bike was top on the list, then the experience riding and playing on Pasir Gudang Track albeit me still on P plate, me riding up to KL then Sepang to watch MotoGP with my bros, me falling and running into trouble with that first bike for at least 3years maybe a bit more, of how I met my husband on the Pasir Gudang Track, befriended him, and yada yada yada. That Italian ride had gone through a whole lot with me, it was one that I could never totally forget. I over-trade that bike for a scooter, the Piaggio Fly.. With which got into far more trouble than my precious Aprilia. LOL! With this scooter I learn how to claim insurance, how to report accident.. The first report and claim I made was when a lorry knocked my poor Lalat when she was stationary at a parking lot. It was with her that I pillion my bestfriend a whole lot, like almost everyday dropping her off before i head down to my office. It was with this bike, that I experience what a broken bone felt like, what a ride on the ambulance was like, what having metal inserted into my hand felt like, and how great it was to watch the two metals being pulled out by the doctor while being fully awake and no painkillers, how torturous physio can be, most importantly, how EXPENSIVE it can get, it was with this bike that I got engaged and married to my husband, it was this bike that saw us through, it was this bike that had me delivering nachos like Ms Santa island wide. It was a fun bike, but it had to go. This bike was traded in for my husbands then Super4 or was it the Suzuki, can't remember. but anyhoo. I stopped riding after the accident with the broken hand, I did ride it back briefly for awhile after the wedding, but because I had a direct bus to my office, I decide to just not ride, since it is rather stupid to ride and take far longer than the bus ride esp on a rainy day. So I didn't ride for a good 4 years, maybe a lil more? It was only after I shifted to my own house and having lived there for almost a year that husband suggested I resume riding since it is ridiculously tiring to travel an hour to work and take almost 2 hours to reach home due to traffic and what not. So yep. Welcome to riding, again.

I end my 2nd week of July with Baby M's Raya cum Racial Harmony event at her school. I sometimes can't absorb that I had been caring for this girl for 3years and counting. 3 years ago today, she was 5 months old and had travelled to Simpang Renggam with us for the first time. We have surely gone through quite a lot together, Baby M. And my biggest hope is that you grew up a better person than all of us put together. May you pick only the good stuff from us, and leave the bad.

Almost done with the 3rd week of July, a wedding to attend, and hopefully a good family get-together after what seems forever! (I just had them over on the 1st weekend of Syawal, so not exactly forever..) This week seems to zoom past with Baby M extending her stay to Tuesday. I wish I could have her all week all month all year, I love watching her enjoy school, and skipping home like it is the best day ever. My heart always swell with so much love watching her smiling away.I am rather looking forward to her Farmart trip next week (which will be the last leg of July).

I started my 3rd week of July with a good chat with a good old friend, flashing back all the way back.. It was rather funny how I finally got my assumption right. It has been you all along, why you so free? I am so jelly! I wish I had that much time in my life to do so many awesome stuff!

With 5 weekends this month, it seems like forever before I meet the last leg of July... So long I had my August laid out. August is full of hospital appointments for me. Finally got courage to do proper test and get the ttc issues out of the system. I'd be lying to say I am not nervous. I sort of suspect it is Endometriosis, but who knows for sure until a proper check, right? I should really do this much earlier in the marriage, but it keeps getting put off and surely Allah knows best, and I guess there are reasons for such delays to happen.

I am at a stage where I don't really get bothered with stupid questions like "tk nak ada anak ke?" ("Don't you want a child?" "tk usaha ke?" (Didn't you try alternatives?)"kau mandul ke?" (Are you barren?). I mean face it, of course it hurts.. I'd like to think that they are just inexperienced with infertility, or maybe lack of trust in Allah SWT, wallahualam. I don't want to judge, as much as I can, but I need to love myself and shut myself out of such people with such questions in my face.

As much as I answered them casually and jokingly that my order via amazon didn't get through, it still hurts damn bad. I stopped crying, but it is hurtful nonetheless.

Do know that infertility can happen to anyone, even with those who had a child before. Infertility is not just about inability to conceive. It is a big deep hole to explore. It could be anything, and above all, infertility and to conceive is teamwork. It doesn't just consist of the woman who is going to carry the child, it consist of the father, the family as well as friends who will be there to support this very woman. Ultimately yes, the woman have to prepare her body for the baby, but really.. face it. It is not her alone in the journey to have a baby. It is not. And we are not alone in this battle. We are not.

I guess I will talk more about infertility and maybe my boring journey in another entry. But to those women experiencing and going through the rough trail of trying for a baby.. here's to us. We can do this! With or without baby, we are no less of a woman. We are stronger than this.

Have I told you that my husband has got his citizenship, like finally, officially! 37 long years of being in Singapore, and he finally decide to just go for it after being offered 2-3 times prior. So ya, he can now sing all the patriotic Singapore song this National Day. Above all that, I am very happy to minus off $10K from my house loan.. We are down to 18 years to pay off! Yeay! I can't wait to finish off this loan, really. Has to be the longest repayment period ever for me after the 10-year car loan.

I just hope it gets down to less than 10years when I decide to be home in 5years time. Yes, I do intend to refinance it whenever we can. As much as so many is against us finishing the house loan earlier than predicted, I seriously prefer to just finish is soonest possible and remain debt free as much as I possibly can!

I know, it is a boring entry, with no pictures, but hey, it has been like this since forever. Yes I try to change my ways and add pictures on some entries, but old habits die hard, that's why I have an Instagram account, to help me document pictures, but I have no energy to save all the pictures, and transferring them over to my blog and all that.. I wish it is easier like how many other bloggers do, but it just isn't for me.

Oh god.. I am always trailing of whenever I type an entry.. So ya. Back to week 4, like finally! the last leg of July. Am I the only one who felt like July is forever?

I had my sisters and mom over yesterday (Sunday), and had great time cooking with mom, and feeding my sisters, and my niece and nephew joined Baby M playing kitchen in the activity room. Boy, they sure had fun in there! DIY playdough is so much cheaper and less hurtful to throw! Just flour (any kind), baby oil, water and food colouring is all you need to make!

And yes! This final week of July, Baby M will be with me all week, meaning.. she will not be skipping any school hour! We made it on public, and she was rather disturbed to see a lot of shops closed.. Haha.. Culture shock I guess, with her mom it is always so late in the morning, all shops are open by then, and if shops are closed, it is because it is so late at night. So yep, she went like "why are all the shops closed? Why isn't the escalator moving? Why?" Haha

Oh.. no.. she didn't cry, not at all, because she has more than enough sleep. She was put to sleep by 9pm, and up at 6.20am, target to be out of the house by 6.45, but we got a little behind and only left home at abt 7.05am, so we touch down at her school at 8.05am, and me.. to work at 9.15am. Mondays... The rest of the days would be much much better, insyaAllah! I reached her school at about 6.50pm, and we got home at 7.45pm.

Strangely, I feel this is less tiring then sending her on Sundays. Maybe because I get an early night.

Tuesday came, and she woke up, showered and was ready by 6.30am, but she was sooo sleepy she went back to sleep, so I had to bring out the good ol' GB Pockit Stroller to good use. Train had some delays, so we ended up in school the same time as yesterday, in time for breakfast. And me, I reached early as I didn't take the train. I was in the office area at 8.45am, so I grabbed some pratas for breakfast. Today she almost cried, because she is just so sleepy, and I put her to sleep at 9pm, with her turning and tossing, she was asleep by 9.30pm. Imagine how cranky she would be if I didn't bother putting her to sleep early.

Oh the stroller, I got it second hand from a friend who no longer uses it after having it for almost a year, so I can say it is almost brand new for me. It is useful for its compact folding (meaning i can keep it beneath the sofa if I run out of space, it is light, so I can carry it when I need to, and it is a good height for toddlers to sit and fall asleep in even though it is not reclined.

The stroller being light also means it get to "corner baring" (tipped over while turning) pretty easily. I felt like I was almost throwing her off sometimes, but that didn't happen because she is very well strapped and the tipped over is in actual very little (but it felt like it is a lot, because it is so light).

I left the office right on the dot, and got to her school at 6.35pm, and still she is the last (and only one left in school). And because she didnt cry, I rewarded her with some ribena pastilles.

Wednesday, I woke up at 3am to receive news that my 2nd sis had rushed herself thru A&E, and ended up running a bit late, so I grabbed to her school and ended up really early so I used the time to pay for her 2 excursions + 1 set of uniforms. It seems like the school figured she is only in school on Fridays and had therefore made it very convenient for me to make sure she gets in school to enjoy all those excursions. And since it is me wanting her to go, I paid for them.

I am really not sure of what the future holds for both of our families. Ours and Baby M's. I really don't know. She might be switched to another school, she might stick to this routine, she might not. Looking back, I wasn't even sure we would have her for this long, 3 years ago. I am never and could never be sure how long more I will have with her, I hope for forever, but it could also be cut short, who am I to say?

I would love to see her grow up into adolescent and adulthood, into marriage and all that, but really... who am I to say? I can only hope, and hope I shall.

A couple more days before I can finish this and publish, and it seems like forever, oh my! Why do I feel like July is forever?

Thursday, it is starting to get into her.. She drags the morning wake up call, but still got up nonetheless, asked for milk. And got ready. I hurried myself out the door and we got to school at 7.55, with her asleep (so had to carry her for a bit). I hugged and kissed her for a bit, and left. Got to my office area around 8.30, so I got used to having pratas for breakfast now.

Friday, we were suppose to be in school by 8am, but I got a little behind and only went through the door at 8.05am. Thankfully! Alhamdulillah!

I fetched her earlier than usual that Friday, and the teacher proudly told me that Baby M is so brave and fed the goats, rabbits and fishes at the Farmart. I brought her to the sandy playground 2 bus stops away before heading home, that day, some sort celebrating, I guess. We made it. We made a whole week and not miss a school or work day. Yeay! Alhamdulillah!

Weekend came, I met my mom at the Gombak market, and brought her home with me for the night. We were suppose to have a home massage the next day.

Sunday came and our masseuse was down with migrane and fever so it got postponed to next week, InsyaAllah.

Baby M stayed another night, I send her to school on the last day of July (Finally end of July!!). Her mom will fetch her from school.

Her Ustazah briefly asked "eh she never go home?"

I wished she don't have to. A wish too much to ask since she still has both her biological parents.

With this, I hope August will be much better.. Bye July...

Until the next entry,
Jun

Wassalam

6 of 12 Months of 2017

Assalammu'alaikum family, friends, readers and followers of this blog.  Again, I got down to this right when it is the last leg of June.

How fast is it that is already half a year gone? This entire month, I took half day leaves on Thursday so I could fetch Baby M from school and get plenty of time to travel home and break my fast with my family.

I realized I had to have something planned for Friday so the need to send her to school would be greater and so I would send her in earlier. So I decided to do deliveries job for friends, arranging my first delivery at 10-ish am. Which means i need to send her to school well before 9 am. 

It worked. The latest I had was really 9 am. Other days, i sent her in at 8.20 am, 8.40 am.. She will cry, oh yes, she will.. Because well, it was a little early for her. I mean on other days, she either skip school or got sent between 10-11 am.

Tough love is necessary baby. It is.. You need to get used to this.

This Ramadhan, I felt truly ashamed to meet the end and yet not fulfill much. I felt bad, ashamed to even tell Allah how I have neglected much of my time despite not doing taking any orders. I felt bad that I am looking forward to resume my business. I felt horrible that all the nights were lazy.

Weekends were truly short, especially our Sundays. we breakfast at my in-laws on Sundays, then had to leave by 9 pm to send Baby M to her mama. So by the time we got home, it was bedtime.

We went JB on 11th. It was funny how we decided to walk to JB Sentral then discovered the bus we googled did not exist, and the staff representing the company know no shit about it either, despite showing him the website. So we walked back and walked right into customs again so we got back in SG and back in again, then we took the bus to Larkin and asked around. So there are a few buses that goes to Angsana, and we decided there and then to just go Angsana instead of the initial plan to drop by Sutera Mall. The stop was quite a distance away, so we had a good walk - just me and him. I mean how long ago did we do this, hand in hand, walking and talking about the present.

We thought we would just take a look at Angsana then walk to Jakel. The variety and competitive prices at Angsana made us decide to just get our outfits there and skip the trouble walking to Jakel, and oh we are so glad we did that. We spend less than sgd$150 to get all three outfits, oh yes.. Baby M will be celebrating Eid with us!

As we were there really early, the bazaar wasn't ready and most vendors just got there to set up. So we only got some Lemang. I wish we were there for iftar, that ayam/kambing golek look so yummy. But who am I kidding, right? The crowd + the rush to get back home is gonna be craaazzzyyyy! 

And oh! Did I say we went public? Ah yes.. it wasn't that bad, really... I guess we are just so pampered with having a car and all so we always say it is troublesome to go public into JB. It is really NOT that hard or bad la.. The drivers were helpful really. I think husband and I will be going JB for a quick date sometimes. :)

I had an appointment the next day which I totally forgot about and had went to the poly for my annoying headache, and the monthly horrible cramps since forever.

The dr there confirmed the headache was sinus related. And got me a referral for the bad cramps (like finally!)

The NUH Appt was with regards to my lungs and bronchietasis, having found out I am falling sick almost monthly with prolong coughs again and having lost 3 kg in 6 months, she set me up for two sets of sputum test and a blood count test.

Urgh.. you know how horrid sputum test is to me! But that much concern ended me with a 3 days MC. And the boss is shocked to see me produce two MCs. How sick can being sick be... I hate being sick and not look sick and just so confused with where I rate myself in the health chart.

That week, Friday, I met up with my poly friend. We must have had at least 7-8 lost years between us, so we had a whole lot of catching up to do. As strange as it sounds, what I went through in those 7-8 years without a strong person like her, is pretty much what she had gone through without me. How amazing is this friendship?

I had tears inside me when I heard similar and familiar experiences from her. I cant help but be happy that she got it all together and has as usual, got up stronger than before.

We need so many days like Fridays to catch up and really really catch up. Just the two of us. I realized how much I had missed this friendship. A friendship that just don't need much talking, but being understood. I am so blessed to have such people to call my friends.

Alhamdulillah, while my business took a 6weeks break, I gained some customers who were recommended by my existing pool of regulars. It is a nice feeling to feel this appreciated. I think I may just bring back old products and make them nice again - with nice upgrades, of course!

During this break, I manage a few calm alterations for my Eid, and some fast sews to help to get by when I welcome a busy business period as it resumes later on. I already have a quick list building up, actually.

I know I was suppose to do an open house this Eid, but we are both not ready to host. And we keep shoving in beneath our doormat. Perhaps we will just do a small part by part open house and gradually get use to hosting in our own home. Perhaps, perhaps.

My home? Far from ready.. I am just not 100% sure about guests in my home. Not that I don't welcome them, I do.. Just not hosting. Just last Friday when my friend came over, and someone was at the door, instead of me getting up, I simply told her there is someone at the door before I quickly realize I am the host! How weird can I be?

I am not a natural talker. It is not that easy for me to break the ice. I mean I have my silent moments even with friends whom I am absolutely comfortable with.. So I don't know... I am just not a good host.. I just love and enjoy my small nest with my small family..

One last week before Eid, I sometimes wish I don't have to celebrate. I wish I can just hide in my store room and eat all the cookies I ordered myself. I wish I wish..

Hopefully nothing else crops up.. I wish everyone leave Ramadhan a better person, and continue to do so.

So, photos time! Here's some of the things I made for June 2017.

I sewn this Baby Romper - 3 different boys get this same print but sewn in different ways, i.e envelope neck, snap neck and round neck option. Glad it all fits, and mommy approved!

Made the coin pouch recently for my coins (duh!). I have another one for my earpieces and charging cables too. It is a versatile piece this one, I am in mad love with it. The envelope wallet was last year's creation.

this one is a simple applique on a ready bought romper. (still cute!)

With so many boys popping near me, this becomes mandatory to make!

This i made for a friend who had been trying for 10years. So happy for her!

Then the review made me so much happier! 

Obviously, more boys popped up/out. 

These Sampul Raya for my nieces and nephews. 

My Fit-It-All Bag as my Eid Bag 

I guess you can tell I am proud to invest in my embroidery machine and have been working on it quite a lot lately. It made gifts a little easier to manage. So much love for that machine - all my machines, to be honest. :)

If you are keen with the products I make, you may visit us at Sewbasic FB or IG. Just look up the id @sewbasicsg

Speaking of business, during this 6 weeks annual break, I realized there are a lot of potential in the business to grow better. And insyaAllah, we will be coming up with new products to list.

Let's see what July has in store for us.

The last week of June is Eid, so I shall put that in another entry. Until then, have a meaningful last few days of Ramadhan, and lets open and heal our hearts with forgiveness and acceptance... May we continue all our good deeds throughout the year. Ameen!

Until I do up an Eid post, be good & do good.

Jun

Wassalam