My top 5 list

My top 5 list why I don't need the freaking mobile...

1. No one will ever call or text me if I never did call or text them first.

2. No matter how long I switched my mobile off, noone ever will try to find me.

3. I only received 2 texts after switching my mobile off for at least 12hours and they are, "Call me back" and "Hi"

4. When I switched it back off and on after another 6hours, I couldn't resist but to text someone just to be reminded that other people have other important things to do than to meet my needs.

5. I felt lonelier with a mobile than when I'm without.

I felt like I'm just a waste of space.. It's like I deemed no right over my emotions....

Noone is ever around to console my tears back from flowing again.. Noone ever will be here with me to go through my downturns.. And when I couldnt make it by their side when they are going through all these.. They said I'm selfish..

Now, was it selfish, that I kept my feelings from the situation? Was it selfish, when I let myself go through hell just to see you smile? Was it selfish, when I gave you what I have and go through all the tough for you? Was it selfish, to think of your goodwill, more than mine? Was it selfish, not expecting anything from you? Was it selfish, to leave you alone, thinking you're busy? Was it selfish, to accept the harsh accusation you have for me?

Maybe it's selfish of me now, to dig on to the old past... But am I not deemed the right to think likewise?

Someone once told me, "Fair? You asking why life is not fair? take a look at your hands, are your fingers of equal length and size? So how's life gonna be fair?"

Another said, "Life's never gonna be fair, even after you have your fair share"

Question is, will my turn come?