Yes, ladies and gentlemen.... I have been busy.. Totally digging into the load of work given to me.. Apparently, one of my identified colleague has been spreading unneccessary rumours about me and my victimized collegue... What a pity... But that's life.. and I guess this is a common situation to be in the working life..
And so the game of words began.. I played it down, playing "I dunno a thing that's going on" role.. And the identified collegue of mine really thinks I'm easy to play with. So I lead her on... Wait and see what I can do to play her game on herself in time to come. Like the famous malay saying goes, "As clever as the squirrel can find his way to jump, he'll fall down to the ground too." (Sepandai-pandainye tupai melompat, akhirnya akan jatuh ke tanah jua).
As far as I am concerned, I will not be the victim. And will not let myself be the victim. Instead, I'll let her head burst to know that I'm not affected by a bit.. I love this game, just that it can be extremely risky at times. But ample time before that will happen, I think.
Anyway, Mr has arrived London. And oh.. The Touch League has been called off the past two weeks.. Though yesterday was just the perfect weather to play on... Was really disappointed over the cancellation yesterday, but Bucks made up for it today. We had a run around this morning.. God, my stamina and speed is way gone.. The result of not going for training.. My oh my.. I've got plenty to do to catch up on that now.. Oh dear...
I wonder how Mr is catching up on his health and fitness.. Now and in time to come.. He'll just have to make do with his work.. Maybe he can run to work.. haha.. Hey, Sir.. You gotta lose that belly when you come back to me, so that my arms can go around you when I hug you, okay.. You better.. hehehe....
My pay hadn't come yet.. So I'll be poor the next few days till my pay cheque lay itself on my table.. till then, I'm out of cash.. So poor.. Life oh life.. But I'm still smiling, coz i've got people I love and who loves me around me...
I'm having the painful sore throat, a bit of cough.. and terrible headache today.. So horrible... I had to cancell my tuition slot at 4 pm. Sometimes I wonder about some friends I've got, no money, yet they can still enjoy the expensive side of life... I wonder how that works sometime. Maybe people pay for them, but can you really go out without a single cent on you? What if something happen? Will you really let yourself be stranded alone with no cash? I can never do that.. The one reason why I hate to go out when I'm broke.. Even if someone swear on his/her life to pay for my everything..
I need to start counting my blessings.. and maybe I should start minding my own business.. But when I do that, I start to dream of things I dream of everyday.. Easy life, well-maintained family, cars, beautiful houses, my dream family, my dream life... Life is about a dream eh... I think so I am... I dream so I become.. I shall dream of more realistic ones now.. Like passing my BTT for my car license.. I have to get that one.... I need that! Pray for me... I need it...
I'll try write more in time to come, have been so totally lazy and unmotivated to write for abit.. Maybe lack of response... But i'm contented with what I have.. I love you, all my readers out there... and well... You.. and yes.. you too... c",)
Sunday, July 31, 2005
Saturday, July 23, 2005
Hate working boring Saturdays...
I'm in the office now.. Just killing time basically. Nothing much to do today except clearing things up and reading up what I should. I could have done better than to write my blog today.. But I guess I should at least give time for the benefit of my beloved readers..
Mr came through Singapore on Tuesday, 19th July 2345hrs(I think). Then he came over, well of course, He Miss Me!!! I miss him too.. What not? A month being apart... But work had made me extremely busy, so it's not that bad...
On Wednesday night, the night I'm suppose to train up before the Saturday's league, James brought me to this really nice Winebar. The owner's an Australian, the winebar's name? G'day Mate! Very Australian indeed. But all his wines were handmade, organic and out from his on vineyard called The Cooperage. That would be a better choice for the name of the winebar, isn't it? Anyways, we had a bottle of red. Very yummy! First time I liked my red.. So it must be really good. Then from that same winebar, we ordered food from HooHa! Beautiful tenderloin and rack of lamb, who can ever beat that place! Just delicious. (In Mick's version, it would be beef-filicious?) Hehehe..
Then he send me home, and then head off to join Chris for the Quiz Night at ColBar.. Obviously, had too much to drink, well, maybe not.. it's the change from wine to beer.. That's more likely the reason for him to not being able to get up on time. Hahaha.. But it's okay. He made up for that.. *grins*
We went to HooHa! again on Thursday, just to eat... Calamari, Chicken Nuggets and Fries, Rack of Lamb and Tenderloin. Hehehe.. I met Malik and Jamilah with their baby boy, Raihan while waiting for Mr. Then we went home to my place, to hang out a bit longer. My dad's first word to Mr, BOTAK... Hahahahahaha.. My dearest funny old man never ran out of funny things to say to/about Mr.. haha.. My parents are always on a happier and better mood whenever Mr comes over. Weird, but true.. You can see my Mom frowning, and the moment she saw Mr outside the door, she'll just smile and chuckle.. Says a lot about Mr, huh?
Then it was the goodbye.. A long long hug.. And the thoughts of being apart for the next 6 months minimum.. Almost killed me.. But I stayed strong. Oh, we had our mini private chat about everything, and we decide that we should take a short break while dealing with our forward moving lifes, and see how it goes. This is such a beautiful experience, having a good adult talk, having a true understanding with each other. It's just so beautiful.
Then Mr had to leave... Friday, 22nd July 0730hrs... It hurts to know that he's away miles and miles away for the next 6 months... So I try not to think about it... I focused more on my job, my friends, good working environment, and of course the rugby guys.. And wa-laa! I smiled. It's so easy to divert my emotions and thoughts now.. Just shows that I've grown up so much, and it's all for the better...
Okay that's it for my love life. Now, friends... Ahhh.. another beautiful experience and change in me... And i love myself now, so much! It's so nice being happy and feeling exactly what your friends feel. It's a nice feeling. Not the return she gives you but the benefits you receive just being there for her, and doing everything you could for her. That's what friends are for, just be there, and look at them and say, "hey, you're not alone, I AM NOT ALONE... "
It's weird when 5 years ago, I can never see any of my friends having a better life than me, and now, I wish they have a better life and always be happy, more than I would wish for myself. I'm amazed of how much I've changed, willingly. Like how I used to just bark at people to critisize me, now I learn how to listen and justify on the reasons behind all that. And I've accepted that as much as I think that I always do what I think is right, it's not always right. And it's always better with someone from outside to look and comment, and if you listen properly, you'll see the bigger picture.
Like I and my bestestfriend said, Life is just way too short.... And I liked the prayer she said to me yesterday. The serenity prayer, it goes like, " Oh lord, grand me the SERENITY to accept the things I cannot change, the COURAGE to change what I can and the WISDOM to know the difference".
Mr came through Singapore on Tuesday, 19th July 2345hrs(I think). Then he came over, well of course, He Miss Me!!! I miss him too.. What not? A month being apart... But work had made me extremely busy, so it's not that bad...
On Wednesday night, the night I'm suppose to train up before the Saturday's league, James brought me to this really nice Winebar. The owner's an Australian, the winebar's name? G'day Mate! Very Australian indeed. But all his wines were handmade, organic and out from his on vineyard called The Cooperage. That would be a better choice for the name of the winebar, isn't it? Anyways, we had a bottle of red. Very yummy! First time I liked my red.. So it must be really good. Then from that same winebar, we ordered food from HooHa! Beautiful tenderloin and rack of lamb, who can ever beat that place! Just delicious. (In Mick's version, it would be beef-filicious?) Hehehe..
Then he send me home, and then head off to join Chris for the Quiz Night at ColBar.. Obviously, had too much to drink, well, maybe not.. it's the change from wine to beer.. That's more likely the reason for him to not being able to get up on time. Hahaha.. But it's okay. He made up for that.. *grins*
We went to HooHa! again on Thursday, just to eat... Calamari, Chicken Nuggets and Fries, Rack of Lamb and Tenderloin. Hehehe.. I met Malik and Jamilah with their baby boy, Raihan while waiting for Mr. Then we went home to my place, to hang out a bit longer. My dad's first word to Mr, BOTAK... Hahahahahaha.. My dearest funny old man never ran out of funny things to say to/about Mr.. haha.. My parents are always on a happier and better mood whenever Mr comes over. Weird, but true.. You can see my Mom frowning, and the moment she saw Mr outside the door, she'll just smile and chuckle.. Says a lot about Mr, huh?
Then it was the goodbye.. A long long hug.. And the thoughts of being apart for the next 6 months minimum.. Almost killed me.. But I stayed strong. Oh, we had our mini private chat about everything, and we decide that we should take a short break while dealing with our forward moving lifes, and see how it goes. This is such a beautiful experience, having a good adult talk, having a true understanding with each other. It's just so beautiful.
Then Mr had to leave... Friday, 22nd July 0730hrs... It hurts to know that he's away miles and miles away for the next 6 months... So I try not to think about it... I focused more on my job, my friends, good working environment, and of course the rugby guys.. And wa-laa! I smiled. It's so easy to divert my emotions and thoughts now.. Just shows that I've grown up so much, and it's all for the better...
Okay that's it for my love life. Now, friends... Ahhh.. another beautiful experience and change in me... And i love myself now, so much! It's so nice being happy and feeling exactly what your friends feel. It's a nice feeling. Not the return she gives you but the benefits you receive just being there for her, and doing everything you could for her. That's what friends are for, just be there, and look at them and say, "hey, you're not alone, I AM NOT ALONE... "
It's weird when 5 years ago, I can never see any of my friends having a better life than me, and now, I wish they have a better life and always be happy, more than I would wish for myself. I'm amazed of how much I've changed, willingly. Like how I used to just bark at people to critisize me, now I learn how to listen and justify on the reasons behind all that. And I've accepted that as much as I think that I always do what I think is right, it's not always right. And it's always better with someone from outside to look and comment, and if you listen properly, you'll see the bigger picture.
Like I and my bestestfriend said, Life is just way too short.... And I liked the prayer she said to me yesterday. The serenity prayer, it goes like, " Oh lord, grand me the SERENITY to accept the things I cannot change, the COURAGE to change what I can and the WISDOM to know the difference".
Wednesday, July 13, 2005
Come just to go home...
Can't believe it.. I came all the way down to Turf City just to go back home.... What happened?
No one came to do the lights, so 6 guys made up of Mick, Eddy, Frank, Rob, Stumpie, and Andy(I think it's his name, but ain't very sure) sweat out in the dark. Frank dropped me off at Holland Village.
I think I'll draw and paint today.. No more camera with me.. I have to buy my own in my company's name.. But i have to fork the money out first.. Boo hoo.. No more extra money...
I miss James.. Will he still trust me? I dunno... But without trust, a relationship will go bust.. Will there still be love in the air... Will a mistake makes the whole relationship swirl and twirl, till it's not the same even after going the other way to rewind what happened? I dunno.. Let's just wait and see what happens next...
Give it time, everyone said. But time waits for no man or woman, or a lady, or a kid even.. So give it time to grow and find it even harder to let go?
Oh, god.. Shine my path and lead me to where you think it's best for me. Guide my love ones, so they won't hurt each other anymore.. Guide us to love and not to hate, teach us to move on and to smile every day they have.
Amen.
No one came to do the lights, so 6 guys made up of Mick, Eddy, Frank, Rob, Stumpie, and Andy(I think it's his name, but ain't very sure) sweat out in the dark. Frank dropped me off at Holland Village.
I think I'll draw and paint today.. No more camera with me.. I have to buy my own in my company's name.. But i have to fork the money out first.. Boo hoo.. No more extra money...
I miss James.. Will he still trust me? I dunno... But without trust, a relationship will go bust.. Will there still be love in the air... Will a mistake makes the whole relationship swirl and twirl, till it's not the same even after going the other way to rewind what happened? I dunno.. Let's just wait and see what happens next...
Give it time, everyone said. But time waits for no man or woman, or a lady, or a kid even.. So give it time to grow and find it even harder to let go?
Oh, god.. Shine my path and lead me to where you think it's best for me. Guide my love ones, so they won't hurt each other anymore.. Guide us to love and not to hate, teach us to move on and to smile every day they have.
Amen.
Sunday, July 10, 2005
The ups and downs of Jun
I freaking fail my Basic Theort Test(BTT) for my car license.. Freaking stupid.. So freaking frustrating!!! I was mad about everything then... I need to wait another 2 months before the next repeat test... So I booked a practice slot for this month then maybe another next month... Freaking frustrating to know that I failed...
Anyway, Saturday was great, though a bit of the frustration is with me.. I drank wine througout... The All Blacks won 38-18, I think.. Then Aussie won 30-13.. or something like that. Correct me if I am wrong... This all somewhat did not really make me feel good.. I got home with my head spinning... Then my aunt is at home with her daughter... Was discussing on my Mas' plan to get a new flat..
My mind's not in the right frame at the moment. Forgive me if nothing seemed to make sense...
I was just a bit mad, angry... i can't define what upset me but I'm simply upset... I dunno.. I'm irritated in some sort.. Maybe because Mr texted me to say he's online then the next second not.. Then he didn't reply my e-mail.. What's the problem? I dunno!!!!!!!!!!!
Freaking mad me.. Forgive me.. I'm gonna get out for fresh air...
Anyway, Saturday was great, though a bit of the frustration is with me.. I drank wine througout... The All Blacks won 38-18, I think.. Then Aussie won 30-13.. or something like that. Correct me if I am wrong... This all somewhat did not really make me feel good.. I got home with my head spinning... Then my aunt is at home with her daughter... Was discussing on my Mas' plan to get a new flat..
My mind's not in the right frame at the moment. Forgive me if nothing seemed to make sense...
I was just a bit mad, angry... i can't define what upset me but I'm simply upset... I dunno.. I'm irritated in some sort.. Maybe because Mr texted me to say he's online then the next second not.. Then he didn't reply my e-mail.. What's the problem? I dunno!!!!!!!!!!!
Freaking mad me.. Forgive me.. I'm gonna get out for fresh air...
Sunday, July 03, 2005
Weekend Update
Okay.... Let's get the cards laid on the table. I enjoyed myself so much this weekend. It's all positive, happy and great energy for the weekend. Oh... Yeah.. I'm loving myself and loving every single bit of it!!!
Saturday, 2nd July...
In the office, reading up stuff in preparation of the tender, site measurements and checks to start on Monday. Then I started sketching up some girl's face. Then my business director glance upon it and asked if I liked sketching, drawing and such. So I said that it's a hobby and I always do draw and doodle about whenever I'm free. Sketched a few potraits, and stuffs. Then he asked if I ever did a drawing on a wall before. So I said yea.. once of a sunset on my bedroom wall, and the million dollar question popped out of my mouth... Why?? His answer: Haha.. Now we have a mural designer in the office, I'm gonna let you express your art with our paint and propose a sketch/drawings to our clients. Then he went around telling the rest of the office who's present that there's someone who can design and draw very well...
In the meeting, it was supposed to be my Malaysian collegue's turn to write the minutes of the meetings(supposingly suppose to take turns writing them). And being me, I took notes of the meetings just to add on to what she have if she missed any out. Upon seeing this, she psst at me and persuade me to write the minutes. And thanks to my great English, the directors agree to make me the official person to write up all minutes of meetings. Wow.. That's a whole load of trust and role for a small beginner girl like me, isn't it?
Oh well, the meeting dragged till 1pm. So many things discussed... Then we are all dismissed, and I went off to Brewerkz to watch the Mighty All Blacks for their second test. It was great, I splurged myself to a nice lunch and a glass of Savignon Blanc from Chille. It's a beautiful glass of white. Yummy. Then join the bucks guys who are inside. I walked and fit myself in between Mick and Graeme. Then the first shocking score... by the Lions.. My ear was almost blocked when the whole load of people sitting next to our table screamed and cheered so ever loudly! Obviosly, they are the Lions supporters. But soon, the Mighty ABs caught up almost immediately and they gradually silent up and we started cheering on... Soon enought, The All Blacks killed the Lions!!!! The final score is 48-18!!!!! Is that awesome or what??? Haha...
It's so great, in midst of all these were happy moments with Mick, Simon and everyone else. It's a great day out! I even gave out my business card! Yes, I have one already, with my name and my position in the company, complete with my office and mobile number.. It's so so cool!!! Haha.. I'm really excited about this!! It's great!!
Then I stayed after the great game, to watch a bit of the Aussies vs France. I left when the Aussies are leading with 10-7. Heard they won in the end. I left rather more tipsy than I thought I would. I walked fine, but after awhile, my legs felt like giving up so I flagged a taxi home. Haha.. got home with a heavy heavy head, but chatty mood.. Haha...
Sunday, 3rd July.
I woke up fresh but still with heavy head. I was rather a bit down today. The tipsy heavy head mood last night made my mind think of stupid things.. Haha.. Better not pen it here.. it's so stupid but it made me cry to sleep... gosh..
Then I kindda got lazy and demotivated as I had to go out and teach... So tiring for my mind.. I just keep wishing for more sleep and rest without anything on my small busy mind. Anyways, my mood kindda diverted right after teaching, I somehow gathered more positive energy and was in the mood for... SHOPPING!!!!!!
And, I'm telling you.. It's worth it.. For the first time, I didn't have to worry too much about money, as I had planned it ahead and had kept everything within my budget! And the suit I bought, it's so so beautiful and it fits me ever so perfectly... How cool??? For the first time, I need not go for any further alterations!!! I can't wait to wear them!!!
My mind is bursting with excitement suddenly!!! Everything happening now.. And it's so great!!! If only Mr's around for me to share this moment with him.. Oh... Everything's so great and perfect suddenly.. Wow...
Saturday, 2nd July...
In the office, reading up stuff in preparation of the tender, site measurements and checks to start on Monday. Then I started sketching up some girl's face. Then my business director glance upon it and asked if I liked sketching, drawing and such. So I said that it's a hobby and I always do draw and doodle about whenever I'm free. Sketched a few potraits, and stuffs. Then he asked if I ever did a drawing on a wall before. So I said yea.. once of a sunset on my bedroom wall, and the million dollar question popped out of my mouth... Why?? His answer: Haha.. Now we have a mural designer in the office, I'm gonna let you express your art with our paint and propose a sketch/drawings to our clients. Then he went around telling the rest of the office who's present that there's someone who can design and draw very well...
In the meeting, it was supposed to be my Malaysian collegue's turn to write the minutes of the meetings(supposingly suppose to take turns writing them). And being me, I took notes of the meetings just to add on to what she have if she missed any out. Upon seeing this, she psst at me and persuade me to write the minutes. And thanks to my great English, the directors agree to make me the official person to write up all minutes of meetings. Wow.. That's a whole load of trust and role for a small beginner girl like me, isn't it?
Oh well, the meeting dragged till 1pm. So many things discussed... Then we are all dismissed, and I went off to Brewerkz to watch the Mighty All Blacks for their second test. It was great, I splurged myself to a nice lunch and a glass of Savignon Blanc from Chille. It's a beautiful glass of white. Yummy. Then join the bucks guys who are inside. I walked and fit myself in between Mick and Graeme. Then the first shocking score... by the Lions.. My ear was almost blocked when the whole load of people sitting next to our table screamed and cheered so ever loudly! Obviosly, they are the Lions supporters. But soon, the Mighty ABs caught up almost immediately and they gradually silent up and we started cheering on... Soon enought, The All Blacks killed the Lions!!!! The final score is 48-18!!!!! Is that awesome or what??? Haha...
It's so great, in midst of all these were happy moments with Mick, Simon and everyone else. It's a great day out! I even gave out my business card! Yes, I have one already, with my name and my position in the company, complete with my office and mobile number.. It's so so cool!!! Haha.. I'm really excited about this!! It's great!!
Then I stayed after the great game, to watch a bit of the Aussies vs France. I left when the Aussies are leading with 10-7. Heard they won in the end. I left rather more tipsy than I thought I would. I walked fine, but after awhile, my legs felt like giving up so I flagged a taxi home. Haha.. got home with a heavy heavy head, but chatty mood.. Haha...
Sunday, 3rd July.
I woke up fresh but still with heavy head. I was rather a bit down today. The tipsy heavy head mood last night made my mind think of stupid things.. Haha.. Better not pen it here.. it's so stupid but it made me cry to sleep... gosh..
Then I kindda got lazy and demotivated as I had to go out and teach... So tiring for my mind.. I just keep wishing for more sleep and rest without anything on my small busy mind. Anyways, my mood kindda diverted right after teaching, I somehow gathered more positive energy and was in the mood for... SHOPPING!!!!!!
And, I'm telling you.. It's worth it.. For the first time, I didn't have to worry too much about money, as I had planned it ahead and had kept everything within my budget! And the suit I bought, it's so so beautiful and it fits me ever so perfectly... How cool??? For the first time, I need not go for any further alterations!!! I can't wait to wear them!!!
My mind is bursting with excitement suddenly!!! Everything happening now.. And it's so great!!! If only Mr's around for me to share this moment with him.. Oh... Everything's so great and perfect suddenly.. Wow...
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