It was to my delight that the post, The Shame Game , had received over 5000 views and was shared multiple times via FB. So much that I started hopping from status to status to see what they like about it the most.
One of the first few that caught my attention was from W. Of which she shared with this words, "Dear Husband, read this up from this lady Jun bout parenting..hehe..i agreed so much with all that she commented about and can relate to it.And we discuss this yest too kan bout d girls sleeping on their own.Definitely there will come a time that they themselves are more than ready to sleep on their own n by d time that moment came,u know i will be one sad emo Mummy coz d girls dah grown up..aargh.."
I know that feeling alright. When your little ones just decide not to sleep with you anymore.. Oh an emotional turmoil it will be, for sure!
But AZ's shared status caught my attention the most for she shared her struggles handling 2 pairs of twins (yes two pairs of two = 4!) and she garnered so many positive comments from many awesome mothers sharing their struggles.
I had to comment along for this deserves a follow-up blog post!
So here I am, and here's AZ's status:
I feel her. I really do. Breastfeeding is not something that every single mother is gifted to do. Some sacrifice easy, some don't. What remains the same is the fact that no mother ever want to give her second best to her children, she only wants the best.. But sometimes, it is not of choice.
And trust me, when you get stressed up, you will end up stressing baby up... And a stressed baby is not going to be fun. My mother always tells my sisters or anyone who is breastfeeding, to calm down first especially if they are tired and baby wont stop crying, she would console the mother first then hold the baby. She always said to the mothers, "Calm down, think of good things, recite dua, or zikir... Breathe, smile then try feed."
It usually works, and when mothers couldn't calm down, my mother always says it is okay, make some formula, and let me feed baby. (Often because my mother is the calmer one).
And when mothers come midway, saying they have calmed down and ready to feed, she let them. My mother may not be educated, but these kindda things, only mothers understood. She must have faced similar hard times, just without support she needed, so she offered hers when she could.
I know her struggles because I learn to listen to her, I hear her struggles to give us the best. Back then, she wasn't allowed to sleep when baby sleeps in the day. So imagine that.. almost 24hrs of no sleep. Yet, she never complained. And when she became a grandmother, she took care of both her daughter and grandchild. Allowing both to rest, while she do most of the work. Such sacrifices, only MOTHERS will understand.
Formulas may not be as good as breast milk, but it better than no milk at all, no? What? You gonna leave baby hungry until your breast produce milk? No right? Even back in the old days, I think mothers would find alternatives, seeking other mothers to breastfeed her child, or milk the cow or goat. Is it bad? No, I don't think so. Mothers wants the best, even if she can't, she would still die trying so her child gets the best there is.
And as I browsed down AZ's friends who left a comment, I discovered many other issues that mothers themselves shaming other mothers..
One of which was V-birth or C-sect. Oh come on, mothers... Then it was medicated labour or non-medicated labour... Oh, seriously...
I mean really... Which ever way the child is delivered, you think the pain and trouble is any lesser? And that a mother is less of a mother if she cannot go all natural? Really? Then I think many awesome mothers won't come to exist because then all mothers might end up dead.. Seriously people...
Tell me you are joking, and I'd tell you IT IS NOT FUNNY!
Let's be practical, enduring pain is energy draining. NOT all MOTHERS have very high tolerance to pain, and if she tried her best and is about to pass out, oh pls let her have the epidural if she wish. And if a mother says she is okay, (even when she is dying trying to give life to this little baby inside her), then trust her.
You see, there is no right or wrong way to parenting. Every baby is different, every child grows differently, every mother think differently. Listen to your own self, your own baby, and insyaAllah... You'll be doing fine.
HE knows best. Trust HIM.
Here are all the comments AZ received. I love all of the comments, and salute all you awesome mothers...
With this, I wish all mothers best of health and may your conscience always remain clear, for you know what? Mothers knows best.
You are seriously, the best mother your children deserve.
I would have written more, but my time is limited (as always when the week is short!).
So until next time,
Wassalam,
Jun
PS: If you would like me to open another discussion that is beneficial to all moms, pls do drop me a comment below or email me at junaidah_myusof@yahoo.com
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