The Emotions Ice Blend

Assalammu'alaikum friends...   How are you? I hope you are doing well.. I have been having these emotions ice blend feeling for a few days now.. I dunno how else to describe how I feel.. It's really like having all the emotions you ever felt blended so well with ice.. yeah... the ice cold ICE.... it just kindda froze for awhile...   I easily get annoyed, angry, bitter, but just as fast as these feelings hit me, I forget why. And when I forget why, I just simply dismiss such feelings. My darling fiance has been such a darling throughout my emotional turmoil. He tried cheering me up, and sometimes ended up being tsked by me, and he simply make my day few hours later with an unexpected text. He hugged me when I least expected, and sometimes, I just refused to let go, because I felt so secure in his arms... I never wanted to part from those arms, but I know we both had to..   Know what? It's just the monthly struggle being a woman more than anything else, but sometimes, it gets a little off track with the sudden flashbacks of sour past, the sudden recall of the bitter history.. it kindda makes the monthly struggle a little too much... Doesnt help with the endless to-do-list, the long queue of requests, and whatever else that make me go "oh~ please... not now/again"...   My preparations is going okay.. Waiting for my portfolio to be ready next month for viewing and discussions. I am now going throught the different scenarios.. And sometimes, I wish I can go ahead and tell whatever is in my mind.. but sometimes, it frust me when everyone is against my plans.. With that I always remind myself that it's okay.. the elders will do the talking to clear these blur and messy little things.. The little things, i reminded myself.. The most important, and the biggest thing to have emphasis and importance would be the solemnization.. So I hope all will go well for me and all the future brides, insyaAllah..   I have found a nice name for my crochets and went about naming them.. it kindda gives a great feeling that I created those with much love.. heh..   I gotta go now.. lots of work waiting for me. Have a great Tuesday ahead all~   Wassalam, Jun