Respect my Love

Salam my friends,   I hope all is well with all of you and may you have a great day ahead.   I have yet another emotional turmoil, and ended up feeling so hopeless and down....   Women being women, we don't usually get to express our feelings, desires and wants as openly as men. We don't get away with saying No sometimes... Obviously, I want to.. BUT i know it's wrong so I said NO until time is ripe and right. Anything big starts off small, which is probably why I refused even the smallest temptation of lustful desires..   And it is really weird to keep tsking someone when he/she is next to you and then yearns so much for the biggest hug from the person the moment we parted to head home. And it makes my heart pump so hard that I just can't wait to start living the rest of my life with him. Blame all these impulse on my PMS, blame it all on the fact that I am a woman. And I just can't seem to hold it any longer.   Above all else, women yearns for respect, understanding, unconditional love, and a listening ear to her unstoppable complains... YES she knows nothing will change the fact that she is stuck with that thing she hates, but she just wants someone to agree and see how negative life is at that moment of time when everything ugly strikes. Just let her calm down and get back to her senses before you even begin to talk her out of that negative stream.   Sometimes, women just wants to be heard, to have someone interested in what she's about to tell... But sometimes, maybe always, the other person tried to step in and finish her "exciting" story and just blackened her bright exciting day... I just sometimes, wish for an innocent hug, and words that assure me all will be well, and someone will always be with me, at good and worst times... sometimes, she dun need words... she just needs company, someone who would look into her eyes, and sends reminders her how special she is...   And oh how lucky I am to have that constant reminders. It never fails to make my worst morning the best in an instant.. A smile across that residing frown and angry lips.. How can I ever complain...   Life is great, and i hope yours is to.. The decision is in your hands, you decide how your day will become.. and how you can make the days of people around you a better day... Wassalam, Jun Yusof

The Emotions Ice Blend

Assalammu'alaikum friends...   How are you? I hope you are doing well.. I have been having these emotions ice blend feeling for a few days now.. I dunno how else to describe how I feel.. It's really like having all the emotions you ever felt blended so well with ice.. yeah... the ice cold ICE.... it just kindda froze for awhile...   I easily get annoyed, angry, bitter, but just as fast as these feelings hit me, I forget why. And when I forget why, I just simply dismiss such feelings. My darling fiance has been such a darling throughout my emotional turmoil. He tried cheering me up, and sometimes ended up being tsked by me, and he simply make my day few hours later with an unexpected text. He hugged me when I least expected, and sometimes, I just refused to let go, because I felt so secure in his arms... I never wanted to part from those arms, but I know we both had to..   Know what? It's just the monthly struggle being a woman more than anything else, but sometimes, it gets a little off track with the sudden flashbacks of sour past, the sudden recall of the bitter history.. it kindda makes the monthly struggle a little too much... Doesnt help with the endless to-do-list, the long queue of requests, and whatever else that make me go "oh~ please... not now/again"...   My preparations is going okay.. Waiting for my portfolio to be ready next month for viewing and discussions. I am now going throught the different scenarios.. And sometimes, I wish I can go ahead and tell whatever is in my mind.. but sometimes, it frust me when everyone is against my plans.. With that I always remind myself that it's okay.. the elders will do the talking to clear these blur and messy little things.. The little things, i reminded myself.. The most important, and the biggest thing to have emphasis and importance would be the solemnization.. So I hope all will go well for me and all the future brides, insyaAllah..   I have found a nice name for my crochets and went about naming them.. it kindda gives a great feeling that I created those with much love.. heh..   I gotta go now.. lots of work waiting for me. Have a great Tuesday ahead all~   Wassalam, Jun

The great weekend starts on Thursday~~

Assalammualaikum my friends & readers... May all be well with you..   It is strange when I find a mysterious inbox and couldnt get the link to my post, but anyways, whoever you are... I hope all is well with you...   My weekend started last Thursday, we went shopping~~~ six of us definitely had fun and a good laugh... Friday was tight, but enjoyable nonetheless~ We drop off the kids, went to Fiance's place, catched up with everyone... had a good chat and laugh as well... Later that night, he dropped me off and went on fishing with his brother and little D.     I woke up early on Saturday to head down to the market to shop for all the ingredients for the BBQ~ Mom and I cooked several dishes simultaneously to keep up with the time frame. It rained but that didn't put out our fire of hope and excitement.   We drove a journey of an interval of hot sun and heavy rain throughout. Alhamdulillah, the rain stopped the moment we reached our destination. We started the fire, and get it burning~ It was such a fun day and we enjoyed it so much... 8 adults and 2 kids.. we had that park rocking with our food and great family bonding..   The kids end up at my place that night.. And we continued to have fun on Sunday.. Watching DVDs.. having a good laugh - yet again - till it's time for them to go home in the evening.   Fiance and I went to visit our friend who just gave birth last Friday and I get to bully their daughter, getting the baby smell on me... Ahhh... I miss newborns~~ Can't wait for my own.. Like totally~~   I hope you had just as much or more fun that me last weekend.. and may more fun awaits us all this coming weekend~~   Assalam Mua'laik~

The Good with the Bad....

Assalammu'alaikum friends,

How are you guys doing? It's been almost a month since my last entry.. I had attended 2 weddings so far.. One of my university friend, and another of my cousin. It was nice catching up with Fadz.. Recalling our uni days.. those night classes, how we didnt pay attention, how we pulled through... how we celebrated.. It was still fresh in my mind.. And we did have fun...

At my cousin's wedding the following week, I saw how charming and handsome my uncle was that day. The glow on his face. He must have been happy.. And having grandma to hug me and cry, that is overwhelming. We kept mum, noone else know... afterall we have got nothing to hide.. People will always talk regardless, so we decide to make the change and just well, not speak. We all know we are not guilty, and we know we have got each other. Why should we scoop to their level and speak of their mistake or dirty laundry for that matter, anyway.. The truth will be out sooner or later. For once, I rather it not be from our mouths... And just let things be the way they are..

A lot of other things follow... I became some sort of a place of solace for people to throw in their secrets.. Maybe because I never had the desire to know more than what I should know... But sometimes, I have to admit that many times, i had too much in my hands that I sometimes end up worrying about other people more than i had to worry about myself. With that said, I'm so glad I had my fiance with me, with whom I can share everything with, to whom I can always trust and rely on.

It is true that you always need a bestfriend in your partner, only with friendship can you tell everything and accept the reactions more constructively. I mean if it has been love and just love, I would have taken every little reactions to heart and would take every joke seriously... I would have expected lovely praises and sweet-nothings everytime we meet if it's just love between us.. We had friendship before love, and that allowed us to discuss, talk, and understand different perspective being potrayed, and most times debate and argue our differences before we agree that everyone is different and unique, and that leaves us a hug, wide smile and a big laugh. Kiss on the forehead, and reminded each other of our love. To smile till we meet again.

Tell me then, how can I not be happy with this man, who always remind me about life - the endless learning process, the ups and downs, the part and parcel of being human.. who constantly teach me to smile, and laugh... who always remind me to take the good with the bad... he always remind me to follow what's good, and learn from the bad (mistakes). Tell me then, how can I ever not be happy with a man like him.. Who reminds me that we are all not perfect but we can always be better... This man filled the gaps of my flaws, then how can I not readily fill the gaps of his flaws?

21 more months.. May Allah S.W.T always protect us and guide us to be a better person...

Do'a for today, "Ya Allah, lindungi la hubungan kami, dan bimbingi lah kami ke jalan yang disenangiMu. Ya Allah, permudahkan lah perjalanan kami untuk mencapai niat kami yang suci. Murahkan lah rezeki kami dan kukuhkan lah jodoh kami. Jauhkanlah kami sekeluarga daripada pembaziran. Ya Allah, bantukan kami, hamba-hamba mu untuk selalu sadar akan kerendahan kami.. Ingatkan kami bila terlupa, hukumlah kami bila tersalah.. Sesungguhnya hanya Kau yang Maha Mengetahui, Maha Memahami, dan Maha Kuasa. Amin"