Love Indeed...

Another future talk sessions of the what-ifs with the king that rule my heart...

Another heavy burden lightened, and yet another dark cloud over my head...

The dreading what-ifs finally surfaced.... So what if we dun end up together, he asked...

I'd disappear, run away and be far away from you, i answered.

Too many heartaches, and break-ups I have bore... One more would kill me, I added. Past experiences told me I won't be able to stand and remain as strong as I always had before. I would break down, go crazy and kill myself if I were to bump into him knowing he's no longer mine to touch. And so I told him I might consider migrating if I really can't be with him.... and I'm serious, I said...

It felt great to see him endlessly typing Nooo.. Coz I then knew I meant a lot to him now and more than before.. I knew then that he love me more than ever before... And to hear him say he'd try to make things work makes me grin and smile coz i then knew he wants it as much as I do...

But i knew i cant afford to set too much hope... And so I'd assume his parents are not gonna like me and would refrain him from being in touch with me... And so I'd assume I'll never get to be with him to save myself from an already broken situation..

And for me to stand true and still staying put with him tells that I've fallen too deep into this love trap.. But I also knew that it's gonna be a huge leap at the end regardless of the outcome...

I wished my history wont be repeated, because I dunno how to prepare myself if it did.. To fail and to lose... To be broken and scarred... To be in despair and alone...

Tell me soulmate, How could you?