My goals vs achievements...

I penned down some goals in a book on 17th April 2008, and here i am publishing some, if not all of it here....

1. Class 2B License
a. RTE - passed 19th April
b. RTT & PDL - passed and received on 10th May
c. Prac 8.01 - cleared on 8th try on 17th June
d. TP - cleared with 16 points at 2nd try on 7th July

2. Get my bike
a. Aprilia RS125 - thru Zack would be 03 model.. If all goes well by mid August
b. Survey above model at shops with Liana, her hubby and friend..
c. Target to hit the road with my baby by mid October...

3. All Girls trip to somewhere
a. To Langkawi - planned and booked - leaving on 7th August wee hours, to be at KLIA by 6am. Back on 11th wee hours. Can't wait.... Just 2 weeks shy..

Actually that was about it that i want to post... Haha.. Ran through the list, and I found it to be rather disturbing as I havent done much to achieve it yet... Haha..

Anyway, okay.. lets add one more to the list

4. Class 3 license
a. Enrol in BBDC - by mid Dec'08
b. FTT - by Jan '09
c. TP - by June '09

5. Grab an overseas assignment
a. When an opportunity rises
b. Ask/ Demand, get transferred at least for short term sometime next year...

Ah... That's about it...

Will the prince in shining armour show up anytime soon?

Between the best and the worst

What is it that is between the best and the worst? What made it so hard to choose from the obvious? Emotions? Feelings? Void? What?

Why is it so hard to let go, and why is it when you want to let go, it just keep coming back and hold you back? Why?

Life wasn't suppose to be this difficult, but humans being humans, even the smallest difference were made too huge to miss... I wish decisions were easy to make... And I wish I don't have to deal with too many people..

What was best for me was due... And still.. No sign of my charming prince, armour and all....

Who would rescue me if not myself? Sorry mum, I was busy finding myself... Sorry dad, I was busy trying to find a man like you. Sorry people, I was just too busy losing myself over and over again..

Will I or will I not have someone to live the rest of my life together?

Misbehaviour

Ya.. I misbehaved.. So what?

Yet another argument, yet another blaming game..

Yet another day...

Btw, I will be taking the bike from Zack much earlier than anticipated. I'm getting it next mid month.. Woohoo.. Haha

Well.. let the rest be just a mystery within myself as to why I can't rid the smile on my face...

Finally...

I finally own a 2B license.. Woohooo... 16points...

I got a potential, almost confirmed, seller.. Will be getting my bike in 3 months' time.. I could barely believe this 2nd good news... The first being my 30% salary increment along with my very small little promotion - from a trainee to an assistant.. Not much of a difference but a difference nonetheless...

My 3rd good news? Coming up I guess.. God knows.. I just hope my prince will come soon... I am still in the office now trying to get my work done... But my mind ain't very much at work, it's just too cold here on my desk... The aircon is just blowing right into my face, and my fingers are freezing...

Anyways... The other thing that I am so so looking forward is the All girls trip to Langkawi.. A very well deserved by all of us.. Gonna indulge in every moment...

Been very very busy with myself... There's always something to do nowadays... Barely have time to sleep and recuperate.. But am not gonna complain, because i had so much fun being busy.. Keeps me sane, I guess....

At times like this, I wish time never comes to an end...

I am happy... So happy... But am also stressed out...

Look at what I've planned out:

11th July: SSH Sports Day - participating in one of the running events
12th July: Roller blade class then collegue's daughter's birthday party
13th July: Visit Bird Park
25th July: Nayli Qistina aka Hamtaro's 6th Bday
26th July: BBQ at East Coast- celebrating Nayli Qistina aka Hamtaro's 6th birthday
August 7th-11th : Langkawi Trip with the Girls
15th/22nd/29th August: Collegues girls night out date to confirm.
September 1st - 30th: Fasting month
15th October: Get my bike - Aprilla RS125 from Zack
19th October: Sepang MotoGP trip
BIRTHDAYS!!!!
2nd November: My 24th
4th November: Mama Hilmy's 34th, Khai's 26th, Ken's 32nd
6th November: WV's 30th
29th November: Ummie Yam's 36th
20th December: Nad's 12th

So many birthdays haha.. Shall i plan for a big party or what? I am extra excited for the many upcoming events.. Gotta run now.. Catch up soon!

Will someone just do it?

Can someone just come to my house and ask my parents for my hand? Can that someone just hurry down to my house and properly ask for my hand, and settle down with me along with my shortcomings? And if someone out there thinks they like me and would love to live with me, can that someone hurry?

I just am tired of waiting... I just want to have my own family and start raising kids... In all honesty, I can learn to love whoever is marrying me and just settle for that for as long as he can understand me well enough, and let me pursue my career and dreams...

I don't care if you're short for as long as you're okay with me in heels and be taller than you without you being insecure. I don't care if you're ugly as long as you appreciate my beauty and just be grateful that I'm willing to be with you. I don't care if you're poor for as long as you dont mind me earning more than you and to help you out once in awhile. I don't care if we need a bigger house to fit both our parents for as long as they can behave themselves and live in peace. I don't care about anything else as long as you'd promise to love me till death, and care for me at old age, regardless of how ugly I'll become or how irritating I can be, and how childish I can get sometimes... Just for as long as you accepted my shortcomings, appreciate me and love me, I won't care who you are...

I needed someone to assure me that I'll never be alone, and that I'm loved. I needed someone who'd hug me to sleep to chase away my insecurities. I needed someone to kiss me in the morning when I'm so unprepared for the day... I needed someone to just be by my side, listening to what I have to say, and then ends it with a kiss so I can go to sleep...

Will that someone be there? Is that someone reading? Will that someone come by? Please...

He who comforted me...

It was a short friendship, but he comforted me like he has known me for years... He run his fingers through my hair, and held my hand.. And made me feel more secured than ever before... And I would have lied to say there's nothing else that made me drawn to him. Guess I just needed attention and he gave that to me, thus the straying... I dunno...

And it made me wonder why I couldnt settle with someone good enough for me.. Someone who would just make myself better when I needed to be consoled in silence.. Someone who would listen and not comment. Someone who would try to make my day and cheer me up. Someone who can make me laugh whole-heartedly and not laugh with some degree of hurt..

And someone who can take punches when he does the kick.. And after watching "Never Back Down" I do know, I have to decide and do what I felt right, and to take any situation under my own control. I can get out of it my way, if I really want to... And I am trying to believe it...

I never knew how much I missed someone's attention until yesterday.. And I think I need it more than I thought I would have needed it.. I needed that small honest concern, some playfullness and the ability to talk with someone who listens..

I shall not ask when my prince will come rescue me? But will wait till time is right, when the feelings has ripe and matured.. I think, I'd seriously prefer to love the person I have married, then to marry someone I love... Because, sometimes, love before marriage only ruins the after marriage... Because those who know why they are marrying the person they marry, will end up wondering why they got married 5 years down the road...

Perhaps, love after marriage would be more fun... I dunno and I start to wonder when I can settle down nicely...