Mom's crying and I didn't do a thing..

It hurts to see Mom cry... but I can't do a thing about it...

If only I have all the money in the world to make her the happiest woman alive.. Yeah.. I know Money is not exactly all that she wants.. She wants me to stay home all day and all.. I'm not being fair... Yeah.. I'm a bad daughter.. A very bad daughter.. Who never listens to her mother.. Curse me all you want, Mom.. I never asked.. You offered... Even when I turn your offer down, you persist.. I am grateful, Mom.. Not that I am not... I am, indeed I am very very grateful.. Without you, I am nobody....

I dunno what Dad did to you earlier.. I really don't.. I don't know what to do about anything. It seems like I am in the wrong no matter what or how I do it anyway.. I am feeling guilty.. But I don't know just how to amend things.. I know your position, I know it's hard.. But Mom, everyone has his own set of problems.. Each with each own's solution..

Go on MOm... Do what you do best.. Dig into my sins, list out all my wrong, say all my bad.. I won't say anything.. Not a thing. I know I am bad.. At least I admit that. I know I hadn't do anything to ease your burden.. I know I am a heavy burden for you.. I know you regret having me.. I just knew.. But Mom, you know I would do anything for you.. Anything if I can do it.. I will get you just about anything you can ever dream of if I ever have the money.. I will do what you had always wanted.. But Mom, I don't have a single thing on me now... I have nothing, Mom.

I just don't know how to stop your tears anymore.. Mom, I'm sorry.. Really am... I can't do much except to watch you in sorrow and cry deep within knowing you regret having me. I can't do anything about it except hope something good comes up and prove to you that I am worthwhile.. It hurts to see my Mom cry.. Really is..

My initial entry was :

Today was a very happy day for me... I had bought something for someone on some special day. A very sweet and a soon-to-be very sentimental value kind of item.

It was another day of teaching.. Went smoothly.. The girls are great. Then met MA at JP. Along came S and L joining us and making a fool together.. Nice bunch of people..

It was another day smiling from ear to ear, and laughing at every joke.. Okay.. Let me introduce to the two additional initial for the day.. S is a very knowledgable guy, full of advice, almost like a guy full of answers (and questions), friendly, caring and crazy too.. L is S's gf. She is a very nice gal, also full of advice, very playful, joyful and friendly.

Oh ho ho.. Tomorrow is another teaching day.. I hate it when my mom breaks down.. It hurts me inside.. And it hurts so bad...