Experienced

Sometimes, no matter how great your experiences are in life, you still won't be prepared for what's coming for you. No matter how much you've been through there's always something new in life, but then again what's new when the end result is the same ol' shit? Shall I remind ya'all that Life is a Big Joke, and all you should do is to laugh about it.

I did some refreshing of mind last night, wasn't grand.. But enough. At least most of what I've kept deep inside me, is let out free. Still, I don't feel right. I feel like crap, like the bitch I've always been. Such a dumb ass, so stupid, I keep doing it.. Life sucks, but that's nothing new... Or is it?

Z had completed his 2 year service in NS yesterday. He still prefer to keep his missing status on, and I can't do anything about it. I tried, but what's the point? My cuzzie? Rizal? Who is he? Even he refuse to have anything to do with me, so yes.. PEOPLE CHANGE.

Maybe I should have just done what I would always do.. Don't give a damn, and just be the way I used to be - ALONE. Maybe this person, this soul within this body, is meant to be left alone. She's just tired really. She can't please everyone, not even herself, then what's the point of caring so much? Then again, when she doesn't, everything else comes crumbling down.

I'm meeting Sharmie tomorrow. Bored today, nothing much to do. I don't feel like doing anything today. I felt tired, so tired - both mentally and physically. There're always some things that are better left unsaid, but when you do, everything gets into a turmoil, and it'd be so hard to get out of that piece of shit.

Two birthdays, Christmas and New Year is around the corner and I'm broke to my last piece. I miss working.. I made my mistake, but don't punish me like this. I need a JOB. Too much bumming around is getting too expensive.

Well, I shall end my typing her, gotta do some errands now. Adios.