We have another family gathering soon.. Yeay!! I am so elated when my aunt called to share her plans and invited us. Sounds like a great plan and sounds like a whole lot of fun!
And so I ordered mini ABMs (what are they? Well, wait for the review okay?). And we got excited thinking of bringing PS4 to play while we were there with other cousins, and what not. And then someone nudge me about riding on other people's plan and about others riding on my plans.
I guess everything has two ways, different perspective and personal feelings about it. I am not a big fan of planning things involving a lot of people, but I like being part of it. So I would be the happiest person when things are already planned and all I have to do is jump on the wagon and follow suit.
So it is rather amusing when someone said all I want are things going my way.. Well.. okayy.. that sounded like me at 17 going 21. Okay maybe right till 23 or something. So I forgive that person, he/she still see me at that young naive stage. I must have been so horrible back then eh?
You guys do know though, right? That the way we perceive others are actually reflections of your own self. So if you see something not so fanciful, the next best thing to do is self check. Have you ever had that feeling inside you? If you have, then embrace it, change it, be better, and see that person again. That whole blurry image of that demanding person you thought that person was is no longer there. If you still see that strong image, then perhaps you are not done with your self-reflection yet. Or perhaps it is for you to remind yourself and make dua that you don't become like them ever.
Yes, to an extend I like things going my way, hey who wouldn't? However, I prefer things planned and I just follow suit. What I don't like is when no one plans but expect it to happen, so I took it in my hands and plan it out in hope it will happen and someone else will that that lead off me and plan further. I told you I am not a big fan of planning. So please, if you don't like what I had planned, take it off my hands, my shoulders and my head. PLEASE do! I'd thank you for a million years.
Many times, midway through my planning I ask for opinions and accommodate whatever I can, in high hopes that someone else will offer something like "Eh I got better idea, mind if I plan hereon?"
I swear I'd be forever grateful to you for taking that load off me. How many times must I say that I hate planning? So many hearts to care for, and not many are people of my kind where they just wanna follow suit. If we don't like it, we don't participate, but we won't ask for a substitute or alternative or compromise. We are simple people. But people always mistook us as being snobbish for doing something else, like just sitting down enjoying the scenery while the plan is to snorkel, maybe?
The fact is we know it is hard to plan for everyone, so we don't mind following suit, and minding our own business when we cannot or dislike the activity planned out. By "we", I probably mean Scorpios. We don't like to be the center of focus, we like the spotlight, but dislike being the center of attraction. Now, how do I even explain that?
I like being in a conversation and talking and giving ideas and suggestions, but don't really like an audience that is too many. Weird and contradicting, right? Perhaps that's why I always end up alone in the corner. LOL! I enjoy company but sometimes it is too overwhelming and I disconnects. Weird, I know!
With that I should add this quote from Anonymous, "In life, not everyone will like you. And so, I don't. But it doesnt mean I dont love you, I do. Just differently, and perhaps I can only love you from afar."
And do read this article too, one para screamed at my face, it says, "Being on the receiving end of narcissistic love can make us feel like we need to try harder. Yet at the same time, it can make us feel that, no matter how hard we try, we can’t really get through to or connect to the other person (which is true). We can come to believe that somehow, it is up to us to fix the relationship. For someone who has blocked their heart, to the point where they cannot connect to themselves, superficial functional connections are all that is possible though."
So, the next time I plan something, and if you have a better idea, take the lead.. I don't mind. In fact, I love it! The only thing I don't like people to do for me is planning my own private space (home) and financials. If I suggest something, it is usually with careful calculations that I can afford it. I usually make sure I can pay for someone when I ask them out to lunch or dinner. Similarly I know I can pay for the whole troop when I tell them we are travelling to xxx.
I miss the whole troop travelling and flying. I would love for someone else to plan the next family vacation, all I wanted is a happy family vacation once every 2 years or so. It is not too much to ask for, is it? Doesn't matter where, as long as we are altogether as one big happy family.
Praying for a happy family,
Jun
Wassalam.
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