When the past bugs us...

When the past starts to bugs in, the present seemed to be put on hold, and the future seemed non-existent. It seems like the past will never stop haunting us... And sometimes, someone else's past gets into you... I kept giving others a chance, but will I get mine? Or will others just jugde me and take my nobility to their advantage?

I start to really wonder if anyone else bother to change or if they just point the blame on others just so they can securely bury their past and not learn from them... Hmmmm, I think I'm guilty of that too.. I'm trying to dig into my past and see what's wrong with me, but all I could find were the faults of others that made me such... Then again, it's true when someone said, it takes two to tango, and two hands to clap... But the influence from other human can be so strong sometimes that it starts rubbing on to you and made you someone you're not...

It happens.. And it takes a great friend to tell you and a great strong person in you to realise how true it is... I'm lucky to have my greatest friends around me to tell me some of the most painful truth... And it takes a lot of courage with pride at stake to accept my mistakes and swallow back what I've spit. It was rather a sensitive issue... And it sure will take me a long time to push things away and get what I had wanted all this while. But what do I want, really?

I haven't been in my best performance at work lately, I wasn't a tiny bit motivated to go to work.. I got so irritated and so frustrated at work far more easily and all I could think of while working is to go home and just sleep away...

I start to think of other options in terms of career... I needed something out of the box... Something that is not forever desk bound. I need a job scope that requires me to get out and do something exciting... But what's exciting has its risks... And heavier responsibilities... And lots of discipline... So, I dunno what would fit into my fantasy job...

Sometimes, I wish I could easily tell if a man is right for me from his forehead... Oh well...

To my charming prince, whoever you are... I'm tired of figuring you and am tired of waiting and to let time tell... It seems like there's no prince at all... So I shall just forget about the whole idea of waiting for my charming prince to come rescue me.... Maybe Shrek would... I dun mind his donkey too...