Counting the days...

It has been 11 days since she left this land. How I missed her... Strange as it seems, I am missing my best girl friend ever... Never thought I would be this affected really.. Those little things we all took for granted..

Just spoken to her on the phone, and those little memories we kept intact. I now recalled why we are so attached, in fact we grew more attached now than ever before. No.. Please don't get funny ideas running in your mind... I'm still as straight as ever.

I was a little down on the way home, thinking of how lonely my life has been despite my busy and tight schedule. I havent had time to even blog, yet too much time in hand that I've thought of all the little things too much in depth.

I looked and scanned throught the passing cars, hoping to get a glance of a familiar make. Yet to leave my mind, the first date came to play, time stood still and the warmth starts to spread. Oh how I miss that look with a hidden smile..

I tried to let go, but am tightening my grip. How could I possibly move on when I hadn't let go of the past fully? I truly had tried and am trying real hard. I reasoned with myself, that I ain't the only person with feelings and problems... Others have their share too.. I should learn to get by and stand on my own and start loving myself more.

My mind starts to wander, of how I am ever liable for all the problems I have to face. Why havent I got a chance to show that I am capable to upbring myself full of responsibility? Why doesn't my family trust me to do well, and be assured that I will do it to my best capabilities? All these disputes turmoil in my head... And I just start to be a bit depressed....

Then there's one thing that kept my smile going... 24 more days before I fly alone to see a place I've never been before, to embrace myself in warmth despite the cold weather. I start to imagine how nice it would be.. A short but surely an enjoyable trip.

Experiencing a flight away from home all alone... Landing safely with someone to fetch me... Talking and expressing my true self, throwing my opinions and views without being judged, listening to ideas and perspectives.... Ah.. It would be such an eye opener.. And I can't wait for the day to come!

4 more days before my appraisal, 11 more days before my pay day, 14 more days before I get my pass, 16 more days to my 2nd niece's 10th birthday, 20 more days to Sharmie's birthday, 21 more days to Christmas, 22 more days before I get my Visa, 24 more days before I fly.. And 28 more days before a new year starts afresh...