Assalammu'alaikum family, friends, readers and followers of this blog.
I know and well aware that I haven't been as active as I wanted to be. You can definitely tell with my last entry being 21st July, and today is the 10th September! So where had all the time went?
I guess after I became a full pledged educarer, life became a race. Hustling through the many hats I wear from time to time. From being a wife, to a colleague, to a teacher, to a caregiver, to a first-aider, to an admin, to a friend. I often go home later than I was scheduled to because there are days the children need a little bit more of me, and there are days I need to give a bit of me in other areas.
Some days, I ended up bringing work home. I am not complaining though, I haven't felt important in a long while. In this industry, I felt important, I felt my presence being appreciated, I felt like I can contribute more, I can impact more, and all these feelings, all these affirmations makes me happy.
I often find myself looking forward to upgrade myself, so I can certify myself properly with the challenges I had taken. Like how I relief a class I was not yet qualified to when the main teacher falls sick, this week, I took the older children. Whilst I did struggle, I embrace it and asked around how they manage so I can improve myself. I apply what I had learnt, and try to improvise as I go.
There are days and moments where these children begin to get out of line, boundary and enjoy testing me, but there are also days and moments where I outsmart them and earn a wee bit of respect and love from them. Well.. 4 more days to go before I return to my own class with familiar faces and at a more comfortable level for me.
Oh! I had two drafts of reviews but I lost some info and pictures because well, my phone is filled with children's pictures because I am an educarer.
Until I blog again,
Jun
Wassalam
Tuesday, September 10, 2019
Sunday, July 21, 2019
A trip to the past for a bit
Assalammu'alaikum family, friends, readers and followers of this blog.
I know and well aware that I've been missing for a long well. I decided to just post out my IVF Journey 2 earlier today.
Within the few hours I got a strong urge to just write again. I revisited my blog from 2005-2007 last week. I found myself smiling a whole lot from a whole lot of things that was going on during that year. The amount of relationships I have been in and out of. The kind of things I had expected only to be disappointed. Ha... Silly young me.
Anyway, I am struggling right now because my keyboard "Enter" key was just not working, so I had to use an on-screen keyboard to enter a new line and what not, but that ain't gonna stop me from typing out my feels today.
Anyway, I didn't exactly expect myself to remember what each of the acronyms I had given the boys that were in my life was more than 10 years later (as in today) but amazingly I could still remember at least 80% of them, and how I find myself so silly for being so determined to find the man to call mine today. Ha.. None of them were.. Most of them, if not all, were indeed rubbish.
Of the many, I am still in contact with three who remained in my friendlist. Out of the many that I had conveniently bin, I often wonders how MidNight is doing - he was very virtual like me. The last I "found" him was that he was married and had a baby.
Out of the three who remained in my friendlist, 2 of them were married. 1 is still running around or away from marriage, I don't know. And yes, I was the first to get married among the 3. Who would have guessed eh... Life is so different from what I had imagined 12-14 years ago.
Back then I had almost given up in finding the man of my life, the man who I can call my husband, the one who would love me regardless of all the flaws I had. Well, today I have been married for 6years 7months, had been living in a hdb flat of our own for 3years, had made major decisions with my husband over many things that changed us, broke out in argument and what not.
Over the years I have been with my husband, over and over again, I feel like I'd choose him again and again despite all his flaws. There are many good that would overcome the flaws. Yes, there are moments I imagined if I had chosen a different man. I get turned off by the many uncertainty that is in that imagination, I wake myself from the imagination only to frantically look for my husband. Many times I wake up to run into his arms. I feel safe in his arms - I feel very safe and I don't think I'd feel any safer in any other arms.
I don't want to continue reading my life back in 2008-2010, because I remember it was horrid. It was the year I was with this egocentric guy, who ended up getting engaged while still being with me, I had to make a scene to break up when I found out he was getting married in a month. It was funny recalling it now, but it was damn frustrating back then because he made a lot of scene for it. After that guy, it was this married guy who insisted to be with me. Not only was he married, he has a girlfriend on the side, and to still want me is horrible.
The only good thing in that period was that my husband found me then, and we were basically virtual friends then. He first saw me on Pasir Gudang Track, then search me down on some social media and we msn chat from time to time. We finally met frequently towards the end of 2009. And it was him that I resigned my phone to when that married man was spamming me with messages.
We met a lot to just go JB to pump petrol and grab breakfast, then somehow fate has it that we end up officializing our friendship into a relationship on 4th January 2010. We got engaged on 4th February 2011 and finally married on 22nd December 2012.
Our journey is not exactly a bed of roses, we had our days. I am glad we always make up and continue to hold on to this marriage, and I hope we continue to fight for this relationship to last a lifetime. May we always be given patience and wisdom to go through each of life tests and continue to be together.
Do pray for us, and may Allah supplicate the same to you.
Until next entry,
Jun
Wassalam
Within the few hours I got a strong urge to just write again. I revisited my blog from 2005-2007 last week. I found myself smiling a whole lot from a whole lot of things that was going on during that year. The amount of relationships I have been in and out of. The kind of things I had expected only to be disappointed. Ha... Silly young me.
Anyway, I am struggling right now because my keyboard "Enter" key was just not working, so I had to use an on-screen keyboard to enter a new line and what not, but that ain't gonna stop me from typing out my feels today.
Anyway, I didn't exactly expect myself to remember what each of the acronyms I had given the boys that were in my life was more than 10 years later (as in today) but amazingly I could still remember at least 80% of them, and how I find myself so silly for being so determined to find the man to call mine today. Ha.. None of them were.. Most of them, if not all, were indeed rubbish.
Of the many, I am still in contact with three who remained in my friendlist. Out of the many that I had conveniently bin, I often wonders how MidNight is doing - he was very virtual like me. The last I "found" him was that he was married and had a baby.
Out of the three who remained in my friendlist, 2 of them were married. 1 is still running around or away from marriage, I don't know. And yes, I was the first to get married among the 3. Who would have guessed eh... Life is so different from what I had imagined 12-14 years ago.
Back then I had almost given up in finding the man of my life, the man who I can call my husband, the one who would love me regardless of all the flaws I had. Well, today I have been married for 6years 7months, had been living in a hdb flat of our own for 3years, had made major decisions with my husband over many things that changed us, broke out in argument and what not.
Over the years I have been with my husband, over and over again, I feel like I'd choose him again and again despite all his flaws. There are many good that would overcome the flaws. Yes, there are moments I imagined if I had chosen a different man. I get turned off by the many uncertainty that is in that imagination, I wake myself from the imagination only to frantically look for my husband. Many times I wake up to run into his arms. I feel safe in his arms - I feel very safe and I don't think I'd feel any safer in any other arms.
I don't want to continue reading my life back in 2008-2010, because I remember it was horrid. It was the year I was with this egocentric guy, who ended up getting engaged while still being with me, I had to make a scene to break up when I found out he was getting married in a month. It was funny recalling it now, but it was damn frustrating back then because he made a lot of scene for it. After that guy, it was this married guy who insisted to be with me. Not only was he married, he has a girlfriend on the side, and to still want me is horrible.
The only good thing in that period was that my husband found me then, and we were basically virtual friends then. He first saw me on Pasir Gudang Track, then search me down on some social media and we msn chat from time to time. We finally met frequently towards the end of 2009. And it was him that I resigned my phone to when that married man was spamming me with messages.
We met a lot to just go JB to pump petrol and grab breakfast, then somehow fate has it that we end up officializing our friendship into a relationship on 4th January 2010. We got engaged on 4th February 2011 and finally married on 22nd December 2012.
Our journey is not exactly a bed of roses, we had our days. I am glad we always make up and continue to hold on to this marriage, and I hope we continue to fight for this relationship to last a lifetime. May we always be given patience and wisdom to go through each of life tests and continue to be together.
Do pray for us, and may Allah supplicate the same to you.
Until next entry,
Jun
Wassalam
My IVF Journey 2
Assalammu'alaikum family, friends, readers and followers of this blog. I know and well aware that I've been blogging about a lot about secret journeys. And this is one of it.
A recap of what I went through the first cycle... A picture that every woman who went through it would understand...
Well, we aren't going to give up just like that.. So here we go again...
Follow up appointment came on 30th November 2018 to just get another series of blood tests and checks to see how it has changed so far. Then we have another appointment on 28th December 2018, which was when we decided to go ahead and try after receiving our results which indicates an improvement somewhat.
And so our 2nd cycle begin....
A recap of what I went through the first cycle... A picture that every woman who went through it would understand...
Well, we aren't going to give up just like that.. So here we go again...
Follow up appointment came on 30th November 2018 to just get another series of blood tests and checks to see how it has changed so far. Then we have another appointment on 28th December 2018, which was when we decided to go ahead and try after receiving our results which indicates an improvement somewhat.
And so our 2nd cycle begin....
My IVF Journey - Second cycle
We had our second counselling to plan out the dates on 28th January 2019. We had a vacation planned out in March and my hormones were trying to settle down after the induced lactation period, it had gone a little off-course. What we had planned with the Gynae was to start with Feb menses and get stimulation started when we come back from our holiday. We calculate based on my last period expecting the next period to be mid month and so we can't start in February as it will fall during our holiday, so we pushed it to March which gets in the way as the lab will be closed, so we settled to start with April menses. That will be in time for all tests to be in place and still valid during retrieval.
Advice from the Nurse
She asked us casually if we are taking any supplements. Well, we didn't. So, she listed out a few that we can start with and maintain with hopes that it will improve and increase our chances. Boy, supplements are expensive! But I guess we shall just give it a shot, so we can just tell everyone we tried, and that we tried with all that we could with all our might.
She suggested me to take the COQ10 and Folic acid, and for the husband to take Pro-Fertil. And so we purchased and will be on them all until the egg retrieval day.
The Plan
With the hormones settling down, it is obvious that my menses will also be haywire for a bit. So, instead of mid month, it gets shifted back and forth and I ended having my menses end of March and decided to just submit that as the start of our journey. The nurse called me a day later to confirm and said I would have to be on Nor-e for more than planned to be safe and out of the period when the lab would be closed. So instead of 14 days of Nor-E, I will be on for 17 days and have my next appointment on May 2nd. And by calculation I will have my retrieval done some time on week 2 or 3 of May.
Work
That extra nervous because... Yep, because this time I will be working so I had to arrange my work schedule and move it around. Not sure how cooperative my colleagues would be but we will see. Doesn't help that this cycle will be done during Ramadhan. I could postpone and do it during less busy months, but it will mean additional costs as we will have to redo all of our blood tests.
Speaking of work, I am not even sure how I want to go about informing them about it. I am not even sure if we are going fresh or frozen this time round. I am nervous because it will affect my work... It will affect so many people, and I hate to do it like that. I wish I could just resign and rest while I do this cycle(s) so I can just do whatever makes me happy while at it. I wish I could.
Well, I finally mustered enough courage to just be upfront with my superior who was kind enough to wish me well and so we went on to arrange some moving of my schedule to make way for my appointments.
As usual, I got blood test for my hormones. Subsequently a scan to see the lining and how many follicles I have currently... I was seen by a male doctor who seemed to be in very good mood I'd say. He was humming a happy song, he strike a happy conversation with me, and then he began to do the scan and say out all the numbers...
My lining was at 8mm, I have 1 follicle on my left and 2 on my right. So far so good it seems. Then I was to wait outside for a nurse to call me. I managed a quick 40 winks while waiting - I was soo tired that day.
Went to see the nurse and as usual she confirms my name and NRIC, then to confirm my cycle day, and if I have done a cycle before.
Then she said "we are doing a different protocol this time, it is different from your previous cycle. This time, instead of the Gonal-F, we will administer the Elonva. It is more expensive, but it last 5 days so no more daily injections, and I will administer it to you on the spot."
I was like yeay to no daily injections! Less work for me!
So I spend like 2hrs in the clinic to get all of this done, then arrange for my 2nd appointment for my 2nd dose.
I returned to work feeling super hungry, and when I finally got home, I was so tired I went to some deep sleep! I was knocked out and woke up super tired and sleepy like I never slept.
As usual, I got blood test for my hormones. Subsequently a scan to see the lining and how many follicles I have currently... I was seen by a male doctor again, younger than the previous, and if I catch it right it was Dr Huang. He run through previous reading, and noted that this is my 2nd cycle. I proceeded to prepare and then he began to do the scan and say out all the numbers...
My lining was at 6mm, he only spotted one on my right, and none on my left. Dunno where the follicles that was spotted on 1st appt went.. Anyways the dr asked if I'd like to proceed if this is the end results. Well, why not?
If this is my hope then let's hold it close, yea?
I was to start the Orgalutran dose. This medication is to prevent premature ovulation or an early release of eggs from the ovary. The nurse injected that for me on the spot, then I do it myself for the next 3 mornings to my next appointment.
I am also to start with Menopur dose this evening. I was prescribes 375 dosage and was to inject myself starting this evening and for the next 2 evenings to my next appointment. This medication is to stimulate the ovarian follicles to release an egg. I hope this time, with the help of CoQ10 and folic acid, there will be just at least one usable eggs that can get fertilized when the time comes. I hope...
Well, welcome to feeling bloated all over again... Welcome welcome...
As usual, I got blood test for my hormones. Subsequently a scan to see the lining and how many follicles I have currently... I was seen by a familiar face today! Dr Shakina Rauff. So happy to see her again, and cant help but complain abt the injections being more painful than last year. I cant avoid it, so at least let me rant abt it, ya?
My lining was at 7mm, follicle seemed the same as last time. It grew though, it grew to a good 10.5mm, so she forecast that my day surgery would be on Wednesday, pending the next scan which will be in Monday. Let's hope all goes as planned.
Medications will continue as per last time.
The last scan. Dr Huang scanned me this time, with his very assuring smile to say the least. 2 follicles made a debut appearance today, and he kept my hope at bay, asking me just have hopes for 1 as the 2 that just appeared is rather small at the moment while only 1 is at a ripe size.
My lining was at 9mm. And so he set me to do the Oocyte Retrieval on Wednesday 15th May 2019.
So off I go to be briefed by the nurse. We discussed and we decided to have my last dose of Menopur on the spot and have the Ovidrel done tonight.
I didnt feel much at that time. Not until I walked my way to work.. I suddenly feel like my world should stop for a bit. I began to question the possible outcome. I have extreme mixed feelings about it.
I checked in at Ward 2A at 8am. I was scheduled for the procedure to be done at 10am. Of all things, I didnt bring my whole wallet - not even my IC. Thankfully the nurse was kind enough to trust I am who I am.
It gives me jitters. The only comfort I had with me was my husband. The warmth he gave me, the little back rubs and kisses he showers me comforted me a whole lot.
I was wheeled back to Ward 2A at 11am. Within the same hour, the Embryologist came to tell me that 3 eggs were retrieved and all of it came from the right side. I was happy.
When I told my husband who arrived shortly after, he was delighted. I wanted to cry. This is just Part 1 hun... We wont know what happens in Part 2... but how do I even stop him from having hopes and feel happy? I couldn't. So I smiled, in attempts to remain and be strong...
10.10am
The Embryologist called to tell me out of the 3 eggs retrieved, only 1 was matured, and that they had injected my husband's semen for it to be fertilized which should happen today, now. However, no activity of such was seen happening. She prep me for the worse saying the rate of success at this stage is rather slim, but she told me to keep praying and let it continue and try fertilize itself until tomorrow.
Texted the husband with a heavy heart. And all we could do is pray.
17th May 2019
9.10am
The Embryologist called to say the matured egg just did not fertilized and that it is yet another failed cycle for me. Devastated. Heart broken yet again. Broke the news to the husband. And we discussed it over. We decide to just take another year or two break from this dreadful journey...
3.02pm
CHR called to set a follow up appointment. It was set on 22nd May, 8.55am.
Well, I finally mustered enough courage to just be upfront with my superior who was kind enough to wish me well and so we went on to arrange some moving of my schedule to make way for my appointments.
1st appointment
2nd May 2019 - Menstrual Cycle Day 2As usual, I got blood test for my hormones. Subsequently a scan to see the lining and how many follicles I have currently... I was seen by a male doctor who seemed to be in very good mood I'd say. He was humming a happy song, he strike a happy conversation with me, and then he began to do the scan and say out all the numbers...
My lining was at 8mm, I have 1 follicle on my left and 2 on my right. So far so good it seems. Then I was to wait outside for a nurse to call me. I managed a quick 40 winks while waiting - I was soo tired that day.
Went to see the nurse and as usual she confirms my name and NRIC, then to confirm my cycle day, and if I have done a cycle before.
Then she said "we are doing a different protocol this time, it is different from your previous cycle. This time, instead of the Gonal-F, we will administer the Elonva. It is more expensive, but it last 5 days so no more daily injections, and I will administer it to you on the spot."
I was like yeay to no daily injections! Less work for me!
So I spend like 2hrs in the clinic to get all of this done, then arrange for my 2nd appointment for my 2nd dose.
I returned to work feeling super hungry, and when I finally got home, I was so tired I went to some deep sleep! I was knocked out and woke up super tired and sleepy like I never slept.
2nd appointment
7th May 2019 - Menstrual Cycle Day 7 (drying already)As usual, I got blood test for my hormones. Subsequently a scan to see the lining and how many follicles I have currently... I was seen by a male doctor again, younger than the previous, and if I catch it right it was Dr Huang. He run through previous reading, and noted that this is my 2nd cycle. I proceeded to prepare and then he began to do the scan and say out all the numbers...
My lining was at 6mm, he only spotted one on my right, and none on my left. Dunno where the follicles that was spotted on 1st appt went.. Anyways the dr asked if I'd like to proceed if this is the end results. Well, why not?
If this is my hope then let's hold it close, yea?
I was to start the Orgalutran dose. This medication is to prevent premature ovulation or an early release of eggs from the ovary. The nurse injected that for me on the spot, then I do it myself for the next 3 mornings to my next appointment.
I am also to start with Menopur dose this evening. I was prescribes 375 dosage and was to inject myself starting this evening and for the next 2 evenings to my next appointment. This medication is to stimulate the ovarian follicles to release an egg. I hope this time, with the help of CoQ10 and folic acid, there will be just at least one usable eggs that can get fertilized when the time comes. I hope...
Well, welcome to feeling bloated all over again... Welcome welcome...
3rd appointment
10th May 2019 - Cycle Day 10As usual, I got blood test for my hormones. Subsequently a scan to see the lining and how many follicles I have currently... I was seen by a familiar face today! Dr Shakina Rauff. So happy to see her again, and cant help but complain abt the injections being more painful than last year. I cant avoid it, so at least let me rant abt it, ya?
My lining was at 7mm, follicle seemed the same as last time. It grew though, it grew to a good 10.5mm, so she forecast that my day surgery would be on Wednesday, pending the next scan which will be in Monday. Let's hope all goes as planned.
Medications will continue as per last time.
4th appointment
13th May 2019 - Cycle Day 13The last scan. Dr Huang scanned me this time, with his very assuring smile to say the least. 2 follicles made a debut appearance today, and he kept my hope at bay, asking me just have hopes for 1 as the 2 that just appeared is rather small at the moment while only 1 is at a ripe size.
My lining was at 9mm. And so he set me to do the Oocyte Retrieval on Wednesday 15th May 2019.
So off I go to be briefed by the nurse. We discussed and we decided to have my last dose of Menopur on the spot and have the Ovidrel done tonight.
I didnt feel much at that time. Not until I walked my way to work.. I suddenly feel like my world should stop for a bit. I began to question the possible outcome. I have extreme mixed feelings about it.
Oocyte Retrieval Day
15th May 2019
I checked in at Ward 2A at 8am. I was scheduled for the procedure to be done at 10am. Of all things, I didnt bring my whole wallet - not even my IC. Thankfully the nurse was kind enough to trust I am who I am.
It gives me jitters. The only comfort I had with me was my husband. The warmth he gave me, the little back rubs and kisses he showers me comforted me a whole lot.
I was wheeled back to Ward 2A at 11am. Within the same hour, the Embryologist came to tell me that 3 eggs were retrieved and all of it came from the right side. I was happy.
When I told my husband who arrived shortly after, he was delighted. I wanted to cry. This is just Part 1 hun... We wont know what happens in Part 2... but how do I even stop him from having hopes and feel happy? I couldn't. So I smiled, in attempts to remain and be strong...
Post-Oocyte Retrieval Day
16th May 201910.10am
The Embryologist called to tell me out of the 3 eggs retrieved, only 1 was matured, and that they had injected my husband's semen for it to be fertilized which should happen today, now. However, no activity of such was seen happening. She prep me for the worse saying the rate of success at this stage is rather slim, but she told me to keep praying and let it continue and try fertilize itself until tomorrow.
Texted the husband with a heavy heart. And all we could do is pray.
17th May 2019
9.10am
The Embryologist called to say the matured egg just did not fertilized and that it is yet another failed cycle for me. Devastated. Heart broken yet again. Broke the news to the husband. And we discussed it over. We decide to just take another year or two break from this dreadful journey...
3.02pm
CHR called to set a follow up appointment. It was set on 22nd May, 8.55am.
Last follow up
22nd May 2019
So I met Dr Huang. He was sorry about the failed cycle. We discussed. Due to the lack of access to further research on the reasons behind the fail, he could not point out the possible causes clearly. It could be due to a bad egg, or bad sperm, or both. With the lack of information, it was hard to say "let's just go try again asap" or to say "Let's just resign to fate and pray for a miracle". We decide to hold on to what we had discussed and to wait another year to allow my body, my mind and my family to grieve this failed cycle.
With this, it ends my IVF Journey 2...
Wassalam
With this, it ends my IVF Journey 2...
To more needles or no, I am not sure... Allow me to grieve this loss for awhile...
Pray for me if you like, but try not to do it in my face. Do it silently, without my knowledge. Your good intention will reach the Almighty. For such good prayers for others, it is best not made know to the person you are praying for. The Angels would say Ameen to the doa that you are making for someone else in the way that they would say "Oh Allah, grant this person the same". Make good do'a for others and the Angels would supplicate the same for you. Ameen!
On to the next journey of greatness.
Until then,
Jun
Friday, May 31, 2019
Sewing is therapeutic
Assalammu'alaikum family, friends, readers and followers of this blog.
I haven't been around happy news for myself so I turned myself into a sewing monster. 😅
I took up the challenge to sew a peplum (something I usually avoid thinking it won't suit my body type), I also took up the challenge to sew my own jeans with actual fly, I did Japanese style curtain for my kitchen and hobby room, I should do for all rooms actually because they both turn out pretty! 😍
Well, okay enough teasing.. Here are what I have made so far during my 17days long of HL.
It had been too long since I last sew my signature Fit it All Bag, so I did. I almost forgot for to construct them! I guess this shall be my Eid bag then eh.
Next...
I started off with doing my girl's jeans with an actual fly. It was successful and gave me some encouragement to try an adult's.
For her jeans, I used the Twist & Shout Trousers pattern from Made by Jack's Mum. I didn't exactly have enough denim, so it was actually made by several kinds and tones. If you stare and zoom enough, you'd notice it was a black front and blue for the back legs. 😅😅😅
Before I got into sewing this, I actually bought a Peplum top just to make sure I can carry the style. Well, my niece complimented me, so I decide to plunge into buying the pattern and sew one for myself. I used the "Be Adventurous" by Ellie & Mac Patterns. I even used the flounce sleeve option and ended up falling in love with it!
And yes, finally! I finally found the courage to try sew my own jeans! Searching for a jeans pattern that requires no stretch is a challenge in itself. I found two such patterns after a long long search, and decided to go for the Morgan Jeans by Closet Case Patterns because the pattern uses buttons instead of zipper fly. Heh! I love it! The fit, the steps, everything! I am still trying to make the waistband fit me better though.
And what is Ramadhan without some Eid preps. I finally did something worthy for the house this year. I made Japanese style curtains to separate different areas. I did two, one for the kitchen and one for the hobby room, if I find more time and energy, I might go ahead and do for the other two rooms as well. This one is self drafted, I simply use 2 pieces of 1yard fabric, piece them together selvage to selvage then divide into two, and hem all around. I sewn them such that they can be put up upside down as well, so I get 2 looks with 1 set of curtains, because why not?
And then I found myself making me a second pair of self-made jeans. Yeay! This time I made more mistakes but I learn.. Still finding trouble to fit the waistband on me but it doesn't fall off so that's okay. I think next time I will put elastic through the whole back of the waistband. I have a weird shape. So who says small sized people have it great? We don't, we struggle just as much as those curvy plus sized beautiful women out there.
I need to sew more to just get some things out of my head of worries. So to more sewing adventures, eh!
Until my next self-made something,
Jun
Wasssalam
I took up the challenge to sew a peplum (something I usually avoid thinking it won't suit my body type), I also took up the challenge to sew my own jeans with actual fly, I did Japanese style curtain for my kitchen and hobby room, I should do for all rooms actually because they both turn out pretty! 😍
Well, okay enough teasing.. Here are what I have made so far during my 17days long of HL.
Next...
I started off with doing my girl's jeans with an actual fly. It was successful and gave me some encouragement to try an adult's.
Before I got into sewing this, I actually bought a Peplum top just to make sure I can carry the style. Well, my niece complimented me, so I decide to plunge into buying the pattern and sew one for myself. I used the "Be Adventurous" by Ellie & Mac Patterns. I even used the flounce sleeve option and ended up falling in love with it!
And what is Ramadhan without some Eid preps. I finally did something worthy for the house this year. I made Japanese style curtains to separate different areas. I did two, one for the kitchen and one for the hobby room, if I find more time and energy, I might go ahead and do for the other two rooms as well. This one is self drafted, I simply use 2 pieces of 1yard fabric, piece them together selvage to selvage then divide into two, and hem all around. I sewn them such that they can be put up upside down as well, so I get 2 looks with 1 set of curtains, because why not?
I need to sew more to just get some things out of my head of worries. So to more sewing adventures, eh!
Until my next self-made something,
Jun
Wasssalam
Saturday, April 20, 2019
My IVF Journey 1
Assalammu'alaikum family, friends, readers and followers of this blog.
I know and well aware that I've been blogging about a lot about secret journeys. And this is one of it.
The next appointment on 26th, was also the day my mom had to do a surgery for her kidney stone. The gynae encouraged me to try again, sadly, I am going to start my new job and it clearly state that I cannot be on long leave and that includes falling pregnant until 31st Dec 2018. So it was on halt.
Gynae was very positive though, and she said we can always do it again 2019, and she would be keen to try different medications route to see if it might trigger better reaction and hopefully get better results. I said okay.
My IVF Journey - First cycle
It started end of 2017. My first appointment was on September 11th. Initially it was just to ensure if I have endometriosis, and it led to an interview, and more appointments and tests which confirms that I have no such worries. However it led to my infertility issues, as we have been trying for the past 5years, and not once have we conceived. So the gynae suggest for me to do my HSG test, and was scheduled for it on October 9th.
The HSG Test
It was nerve wrecking. The whole procedure albeit short, was uncomfortable. Not much of pain - I didn't take any pain relief medications what-so-ever. I survived it. Eventually a little relieved to find both my Fallopian tubes to be blocked. So that was the reason why we never found ourselves conceiving.
It was the hours after, that I felt cramps like never before. My next appointment was scheduled to be on November 6th. We had a series of tests done. All sorts of blood test including HIV tests among the many others. We were given meds to keep and take once we are ready to embark, which I told them it will be early 2018.
Quit my job
As you would have known, I quit my CAD Designer job to get this done - I didn't want interruptions or anything like that during the course.
I was told to attend a seminar in February, but I gave it a miss. I just jumped to the actual counselling on 2nd March, and this is the start of my IVF Journey...
I had to inform them the moment I have my menses for them to calculate and confirm the dates for me to start my medications. We were scheduled for another appointment on 5th April. Then again on 12th April. Of which I was given more Gonal-F and Org (to be injected on the day I am scheduled for a return for a scan)
Stimulation Jabs
I start doing my stimulation jabs on 13th April, and I had to inject myself every evening, and schedules for scans to check how my body reacts to it every 3days or so. The first scan I had was on 17th April. At this point I had 3 follicles, which was a good number considering I have low AMH. Now, I have to inject myself twice a day, the Org in the morning, and Gonal-F in the evenings. My next appointment was scheduled on 20th April, at this point I have 5 follicles and it is growing well to an almost perfect size and was told to return the next day for a final scan before the gynae give a date for my egg retrival. And indeed, she said I am ready for the surgery on Monday, 23rd April. I had to do an additional jab in wee hours on 22nd April to trigger the growth so I am ready for the surgery.
Egg Retrieval Surgery
23rd came, I was excited, I was very hopeful on this being it. I will have some eggs ready to be fertilized and I will be just waiting for the right time for it to be implanted in me. Sadly, after all the pain I went through.. The gynae came to see me and told me all the follicles retrieved was empty. There was no eggs... It was a failed cycle.
The next appointment on 26th, was also the day my mom had to do a surgery for her kidney stone. The gynae encouraged me to try again, sadly, I am going to start my new job and it clearly state that I cannot be on long leave and that includes falling pregnant until 31st Dec 2018. So it was on halt.
Gynae was very positive though, and she said we can always do it again 2019, and she would be keen to try different medications route to see if it might trigger better reaction and hopefully get better results. I said okay.
My journey continues... In the meantime do wish and send us lots of luck!
Until my next journey... in the next entry...
Jun
Wassalam
Until my next journey... in the next entry...
Jun
Wassalam
Monday, April 08, 2019
Peek-a-boo Pattern - Pat-a-cake Romper
Assalammu'alaikum family, friends, readers and followers of this blog.
After what seemed like forever, let me now get down to write on this way overdued pdf pattern that I bought!
The Pat-a-cake Romper by Peek-a-boo was bought like in September 2018!
This is the first one I made, in size 3m and I got a neighbour to put it on her 6mth old baby:
Definitely okay for a beginner to give this a try as long as you know how to read instructions and go for it!
The Pat-a-cake Romper by Peek-a-boo was bought like in September 2018!
This is the first one I made, in size 3m and I got a neighbour to put it on her 6mth old baby:
The Pat-a-cake Romper has multiple view options : standard neck or collared, pants length - shorts or long & sleeves - regular short or bubble.
I was quickly commissioned to make another for an older baby, so I made a size 12m.
Then I got keen to do a more girly version - a bubble with cuff sleeve and short length.
A friend quickly grab it off my hands although it is a size bigger, I made a 6m, her baby is going to be 3m - I think. Here she is!
Baby Y reminds me of Baby M with that hair! Oh I miss little babies in my house! Cries and wailing in the middle of the night inclusive! And yes, beside her are some of the gifts I gave to her, along with the rompers that I mailed over. I am so guilty of not visiting this girl!
Alright back to sewing the romper, the instructions were really clear and easy to follow, I like how the placket was done, it was really easy and there are almost no error of not catching the fold for this one. And oh! This pattern can be sewn using knits or woven - the beauty of it!
It took me approximately 3-6hrs from cut to finish with interruptions and distractions in between, but to keep myself sane, I do 1-2hrs (still with interruptions and distractions!) over 3days to finish two sets.
Definitely okay for a beginner to give this a try as long as you know how to read instructions and go for it!
Oh I made this with a little hack and combination with another pattern (another entry for the details)
Until the next one,
Jun
Wassalam
Tuesday, February 05, 2019
A little bit of pictorial update
Assalammu'alaikum family, friends, readers and followers of this blog. I had said I wanted to write some short stories. Sadly, I haven't had an idea and when I do, I ended up scratching it because it sounded too much like me. So I think it is as good as a scrapped idea altogether. Let's just focus to write about me, my reflections and whatever updates I can spare all of you.
So, the year of Pig has arrived! And of all my 34 years I never had anyone asked if Muslims are okay with the year of Pig until this year. I don't know what to say really.. What can I do? It is the Chinese Zodiac Year and it existed since forever, no one can change it to another animal. Live with it. No one is shoving you a pig head or pork into your mouth, right?
Besides, Islam is about peace. It includes peace with other religious or racial beliefs. RESPECT them like how you want others to respect you. SIMPLE. Just pig deco everywhere, live with it la. I don't feel offended or anything. I enjoy looking at all those pig crafts, they do look cute!
Anyway, back to the story writing, I still haven't got around getting a single idea. I am beginning to believe that I have lost all the imagination and creative blocks I used to have. So I decided to get on and sew something for myself instead. I miss hacking patterns to suit me or the fabric I have in hand. That I did, and I am glad I did. So, here are some pictures of what I've done since my last post.
We took a walk from Henderson Wave to the HortPark with the neighbours last month.
So, the year of Pig has arrived! And of all my 34 years I never had anyone asked if Muslims are okay with the year of Pig until this year. I don't know what to say really.. What can I do? It is the Chinese Zodiac Year and it existed since forever, no one can change it to another animal. Live with it. No one is shoving you a pig head or pork into your mouth, right?
Besides, Islam is about peace. It includes peace with other religious or racial beliefs. RESPECT them like how you want others to respect you. SIMPLE. Just pig deco everywhere, live with it la. I don't feel offended or anything. I enjoy looking at all those pig crafts, they do look cute!
Anyway, back to the story writing, I still haven't got around getting a single idea. I am beginning to believe that I have lost all the imagination and creative blocks I used to have. So I decided to get on and sew something for myself instead. I miss hacking patterns to suit me or the fabric I have in hand. That I did, and I am glad I did. So, here are some pictures of what I've done since my last post.
We took a walk from Henderson Wave to the HortPark with the neighbours last month.
We loved the scenery at the end. And couldnt resist this picture.
We had a staycay in the Holiday Bungalow at Pasir Ris.
I especially love it when all my nieces and nephews get together and do their thing and bond like they are never parted, ever.
We celebrated birthdays. We had 3 in a row, so here are the birthday girls, for Dec 20th, Jan 27th and Feb 2nd. May you all become great women of tomorrow!
Love her big smile on this swing. It was indeed her favourite spot.
Then we had late lunch on Monday after briefly being disappointed because we weren't on time to get her present.
All the sewing I did... I was on the pants roll! We are always on a high need for new pants, it seems.
Pattern review will follow soon, if I remember and have the time and energy.
Happy Lunar New Year to all my Chinese friends, readers and family!
Until I dig this again to be reminded of the pattern review.
Jun
Wassalam
Sunday, January 20, 2019
First of 2019
Assalammu'alaikum family, friends, readers and followers of this blog. Writing often seemed far fetched lately, and after what seemed forever, it has only been 2 months since I wrote.
I was called names when I asked for a payback for whatever I had spent to take what was promised to me. I was cursed, but they forget.. They are no better... They sin more... They had played us out and caused sufferings... And may Allah repay their doings and all the harm they had done.
That aside, I've been happy at work so far... 2019 has been kind to me... Alhamdulillah.
I had to put a halt to my plans to further my studies in this line for awhile, at least until my husband finish his. It could take another year or two before I advanced. If it is meant to be, it shall. Otherwise, I'd be contented to just be a SAHW/M. Both ways, it would give me happiness in its own way, I'm sure.
Speaking of which, I think I'd use "My Creations" blog to write short stories, both fictional and non-fictional. That would at least help me release the ideas and word overload in my brain. The least this story writing would fry my brain for a bit while waiting for the time I can register for my advancement.
In case you good people forgot, "My Creations" blog was where I pen down my poetry and words of art in both English and Malay. I had always loved to play with words and it has always been and felt great to write in that sense. But it has been years since I got a spark to write in such an artsy manner. I would very much liked to wake that side of me, to give me that sense of pride again.. To make people think about the story behind my words, the emotions it stirs, and the reflection it forced upon its readers.
Well, until the next entry...
Jun
Wassalam
I was called names when I asked for a payback for whatever I had spent to take what was promised to me. I was cursed, but they forget.. They are no better... They sin more... They had played us out and caused sufferings... And may Allah repay their doings and all the harm they had done.
That aside, I've been happy at work so far... 2019 has been kind to me... Alhamdulillah.
I had to put a halt to my plans to further my studies in this line for awhile, at least until my husband finish his. It could take another year or two before I advanced. If it is meant to be, it shall. Otherwise, I'd be contented to just be a SAHW/M. Both ways, it would give me happiness in its own way, I'm sure.
Speaking of which, I think I'd use "My Creations" blog to write short stories, both fictional and non-fictional. That would at least help me release the ideas and word overload in my brain. The least this story writing would fry my brain for a bit while waiting for the time I can register for my advancement.
In case you good people forgot, "My Creations" blog was where I pen down my poetry and words of art in both English and Malay. I had always loved to play with words and it has always been and felt great to write in that sense. But it has been years since I got a spark to write in such an artsy manner. I would very much liked to wake that side of me, to give me that sense of pride again.. To make people think about the story behind my words, the emotions it stirs, and the reflection it forced upon its readers.
Well, until the next entry...
Jun
Wassalam
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