-----------
MORE hand-me-downs:
So what's your favourite hand-me-down piece(s)?
Xoxo
Baby M's Mak
Thursday, September 25, 2014
Pictures of all our hand-me-downs
-----------
MORE hand-me-downs:
So what's your favourite hand-me-down piece(s)?
Xoxo
Baby M's Mak
Monday, September 22, 2014
Hand me downs
Assalammu'alaikum family, friends, followers and readers of this blog.
Once again, another topic on Baby and me. Heh!
I hope you are enjoying this phase as much as I do writing them!
So today, we shall discuss or rather share my opinions on hand-me-downs.
I personally love the whole idea of hand-me-downs. Firstly because I grew up in the hand-me-downs era. Everything I own, must have been my sisters' or some relatives' somewhere. And I grew up giving away my unused or outgrown clothes to other relatives too, and trust me when I say, I beamed when I see someone else down the line wore what I used to own. Really! It felt good!
As with everything else, and like my mother, it is always hard to let go. No, I mean seriously, there are some things that are just too sentimental. It comes with memories, and sometimes, with the flashbacks of how long it took to save up to buy that piece or something more to that like having worn that for the first day of school or something.
So we get a little skeptical and start contemplating then having to choose who to give it to.. I tell you, we can take forever before finally letting it go.
And so, I accepted the same for Baby M. A friend had a 3yr old daughter and loads of clothes that had overgrown, so she asked one day if I am open to accept hand me downs for Baby M. I gladly did!
So Mama asks what I do the first thing it reaches me, and so I said I usually dump it in the washing machine regardless the condition first, and inspect while I hang it to dry. A habit I had, even with those clothes I buy at the shop (even when it is brand new in plastic with tag). And she was happy with that answer. As I've shared previously, Baby M's Mama is particular with what her baby wears - as in with its cleanliness, likewise with her toys.
So everything needs to be washed thoroughly and whenever possible sanitized first. And so I happily do, afterall, it's personal hygiene, yes?
"So why hand-me-downs?", "Can't you afford to buy one?", "second hand, for a baby, are you for real?" are just some questions that attacked me for awhile. Well no, I can easily get Baby M a wardrobe bigger than mine in a jiffy. Thing is.. babies grow too fast - like it or not! Chances are they only will wear that brand new shoe for a month if you're lucky, or maybe just twice. There is absolutely nothing wrong with hand-me-downs as long as it still is in mint condition, with no major stains, and without any tears. A missing bow or ribbon is fine! Really, babies will always be spilling food, so what is one permanent stain of food colouring gonna harm?
As long as I've personally washed them clean, I am fine with wearing it on any baby. Yes, even my own, even if it is my very first born. I have since collected many many rompers from my friend, and oh beautiful pretty dainty dresses too! My favourite? The pile of stockings of course!!
And then I received four pairs of nice little pretty shoes! And how do I clean these, you asked? Well.. Wipe it with a lil dettol will do, or spray with sanitizers is also fine. And oh, credits to Baby M's Mama for this tip! Otherwise I'd be clueless how to clean them too. :)
Did I tell you, we also received Baby Rocker and Baby Highchair from the same friend? Nice isn't it? So we did a kind agreement that we will rotate all our baby things as and when a new baby comes. :)
Speaking of sanitization, I recently asked a few moms how frequent they sanitize thier babies' toys and play area. I received multiple answers, some said once a month, some said once a week, some said only if it looks really dirty, some extremes are everyday.
So how often do I do it? I'd say once to twice a week if Baby M is coming for the weekend, otherwise it would be maximum 3 days before she arrives to a minimum once in the morning she is coming over. I am frantic like that. And when she comes, I usually rinse off whatever toys she threw down onto the "adult" floor.
Clean freak, you can call me. I dunno if I can keep this up with my own babies when they occupy the space 24/7. I wish I can do it.
So ya, share with me how often you do it and how if you'd like. I'd love to hear from you. We can all learn from each other then.
Until I blog again (and yes, I owe you guys pictures of all the hand me downs I received!),
Wassalam,
Baby M's Mak
Once again, another topic on Baby and me. Heh!
I hope you are enjoying this phase as much as I do writing them!
So today, we shall discuss or rather share my opinions on hand-me-downs.
I personally love the whole idea of hand-me-downs. Firstly because I grew up in the hand-me-downs era. Everything I own, must have been my sisters' or some relatives' somewhere. And I grew up giving away my unused or outgrown clothes to other relatives too, and trust me when I say, I beamed when I see someone else down the line wore what I used to own. Really! It felt good!
As with everything else, and like my mother, it is always hard to let go. No, I mean seriously, there are some things that are just too sentimental. It comes with memories, and sometimes, with the flashbacks of how long it took to save up to buy that piece or something more to that like having worn that for the first day of school or something.
So we get a little skeptical and start contemplating then having to choose who to give it to.. I tell you, we can take forever before finally letting it go.
And so, I accepted the same for Baby M. A friend had a 3yr old daughter and loads of clothes that had overgrown, so she asked one day if I am open to accept hand me downs for Baby M. I gladly did!
So Mama asks what I do the first thing it reaches me, and so I said I usually dump it in the washing machine regardless the condition first, and inspect while I hang it to dry. A habit I had, even with those clothes I buy at the shop (even when it is brand new in plastic with tag). And she was happy with that answer. As I've shared previously, Baby M's Mama is particular with what her baby wears - as in with its cleanliness, likewise with her toys.
So everything needs to be washed thoroughly and whenever possible sanitized first. And so I happily do, afterall, it's personal hygiene, yes?
"So why hand-me-downs?", "Can't you afford to buy one?", "second hand, for a baby, are you for real?" are just some questions that attacked me for awhile. Well no, I can easily get Baby M a wardrobe bigger than mine in a jiffy. Thing is.. babies grow too fast - like it or not! Chances are they only will wear that brand new shoe for a month if you're lucky, or maybe just twice. There is absolutely nothing wrong with hand-me-downs as long as it still is in mint condition, with no major stains, and without any tears. A missing bow or ribbon is fine! Really, babies will always be spilling food, so what is one permanent stain of food colouring gonna harm?
As long as I've personally washed them clean, I am fine with wearing it on any baby. Yes, even my own, even if it is my very first born. I have since collected many many rompers from my friend, and oh beautiful pretty dainty dresses too! My favourite? The pile of stockings of course!!
And then I received four pairs of nice little pretty shoes! And how do I clean these, you asked? Well.. Wipe it with a lil dettol will do, or spray with sanitizers is also fine. And oh, credits to Baby M's Mama for this tip! Otherwise I'd be clueless how to clean them too. :)
Did I tell you, we also received Baby Rocker and Baby Highchair from the same friend? Nice isn't it? So we did a kind agreement that we will rotate all our baby things as and when a new baby comes. :)
Speaking of sanitization, I recently asked a few moms how frequent they sanitize thier babies' toys and play area. I received multiple answers, some said once a month, some said once a week, some said only if it looks really dirty, some extremes are everyday.
So how often do I do it? I'd say once to twice a week if Baby M is coming for the weekend, otherwise it would be maximum 3 days before she arrives to a minimum once in the morning she is coming over. I am frantic like that. And when she comes, I usually rinse off whatever toys she threw down onto the "adult" floor.
Clean freak, you can call me. I dunno if I can keep this up with my own babies when they occupy the space 24/7. I wish I can do it.
So ya, share with me how often you do it and how if you'd like. I'd love to hear from you. We can all learn from each other then.
Until I blog again (and yes, I owe you guys pictures of all the hand me downs I received!),
Wassalam,
Baby M's Mak
Monday, September 15, 2014
Mom and Baby
Assalammu'alaikum family, friends, followers and readers of this blog.
Recently, I posted a few emotional phrases on my facebook account.
One of them reads, "I am not jealous of people of wealth, who dons the LV or the Gucci, I envy not the luxurious holidays people get to go to every now and then... BUT I am jealous over the people who can stay home and be with their children, I envy moms who get to be with their child anytime they need her through their life. I had my mom anytime, anywhere, any place, for the last 29 years, and I hope for many more, because I never can have enough of her. And I want to be like my mom with my kids. I'd cry a fountain if I am not able to.. A child remains a child in every mother's eyes. And as my mother age, our roles change, I want to the one providing her, protecting her, and granting her every wish, and to welcome any tantrums that comes with it. I want to. Because even if I have done so, it is never and will never be equivalent to what she has done for me.
*Each to their own, I am in no way implementing that career moms are less of a mother. Do note, that anything a mother does, she always have their children's interest in heart. There is nothing that a mother does that does not include her child in mind.*
Subsequently I posted, in defense to those who took offence being a working mom despite the disclaimer in asterix.
The second post reads, "Career moms and stay at home mom... Both have their struggles. Both have their children's best interest in mind. Both do not have an easy life. Both just wants the best for their children. Both deserve to be respected, for being the best-est mom their children can have. You mothers are just so strong to make a decision for the best of the whole family. And I am proud of all you mothers. Worry less about what others has to say about the decisions you make, and focus on what is best for the family."
You see, I am on the neutral side. I am on all mommy's side. We all have our struggles. Who lives without any, right?
And I guess these days, you will see me post a lot about moms and babies and all topics related. Since my undertaking to care for Baby M on most weekends, I have become more and more wary about baby needs, mostly highlighted by Baby M's Mama of course.
I am so glad her mama is kind and always point out my flaws and shortfalls directly. At least I know I can do better.
We sometimes take things for granted, and she being the more experienced babysitter, and having dealt with one kid with HFMD before, the kid contracted HFMD from her brother by the way. She is more careful and cleaner than me when it comes to babies, naturally.
And I continue to learn new things from her all in Baby M's sake. So this coming Wednesday, I intend to sanitize my whole house. For some reason, hearing my friend telling me about HFMD got me paranoil. Haha. Well, it's for the good, so why not?
Sometimes, we all take things for granted. Be it cleanliness, health or safety. And I am not excluded either. Seeing neat clean individual, we would assume he/she takes care of all her belongings just as good. Sadly not everyone, sometimes people like me who couldn't really care about how we look, go without make ups, use brandless or cheap stuff, care much more about baby's welfare.
I guess it is just upbringing, or maybe education. I can't tell. I started being wary about what is out there organic that is good for baby to eat. I started being wary about how baby is carried. I started being obsessed, maybe? All thanks to my friend! I now know there are so much variety to baby food that is organic! And how much is too much.
This made me less tolerable to people who mishandle their babies and the food they feed their baby. I had to constantly close my eyes and tell myself "It is not my baby, it is not Baby M"
I almost felt like I have fits when I see someone throwing a baby in the air or shake him/her excessively with head bobbing.
"Ya Allah!!! Protect the baby!" screamed my aching heart. I had to just walk away, before I screamed this to that adult. Not that I don't care, I just had enough of people who "knows better" and refused to heed my warning, and refuse to educate themselves.
I am protective, and call me crazy if you must. DO know, that if you ever ever dare to throw my baby in the air, I will seriously consider throwing you out the window in my head many times that you might just jump yourself. Seriously... Do it to your own child, if you must. BUT don't do it to others, or at least ask their parents first. Some are not too bothered, and some do! So before you love any kid, learn to respect their parents first. Even when you wanna just give the kid an innocent candy! You never know if that kid has allergies.
Then again, I don't have kids of my own, and maybe I don't know much. True much!
If I were to have one now, I wont have anyone around who can care for her/him either. So be nice, Allah SWT knows best why I haven't had my junior yet. Stop telling people or my face that we didnt try hard enough, for Allah SWT knows best how much we have tried.
I rather focus and learn via Baby M. She taught me a lot, along with her mama. And I learn, my husband learn, we all learn.
And it warms my heart when Baby M says MMaakk, to my face, and Abbbaah to my husband. And she knows how to wave! Yeay! But sometimes she wave to the wrong direction. And oh, clap too, slowly but getting there!
And oh... the baby fan is now down to just one blade. She tore the two apart yesterday, and smiled/laughed cheekily when I caught her.
Another baby entry another day...
Wassalam,
Baby M's Mak.
Recently, I posted a few emotional phrases on my facebook account.
One of them reads, "I am not jealous of people of wealth, who dons the LV or the Gucci, I envy not the luxurious holidays people get to go to every now and then... BUT I am jealous over the people who can stay home and be with their children, I envy moms who get to be with their child anytime they need her through their life. I had my mom anytime, anywhere, any place, for the last 29 years, and I hope for many more, because I never can have enough of her. And I want to be like my mom with my kids. I'd cry a fountain if I am not able to.. A child remains a child in every mother's eyes. And as my mother age, our roles change, I want to the one providing her, protecting her, and granting her every wish, and to welcome any tantrums that comes with it. I want to. Because even if I have done so, it is never and will never be equivalent to what she has done for me.
*Each to their own, I am in no way implementing that career moms are less of a mother. Do note, that anything a mother does, she always have their children's interest in heart. There is nothing that a mother does that does not include her child in mind.*
Subsequently I posted, in defense to those who took offence being a working mom despite the disclaimer in asterix.
The second post reads, "Career moms and stay at home mom... Both have their struggles. Both have their children's best interest in mind. Both do not have an easy life. Both just wants the best for their children. Both deserve to be respected, for being the best-est mom their children can have. You mothers are just so strong to make a decision for the best of the whole family. And I am proud of all you mothers. Worry less about what others has to say about the decisions you make, and focus on what is best for the family."
You see, I am on the neutral side. I am on all mommy's side. We all have our struggles. Who lives without any, right?
And I guess these days, you will see me post a lot about moms and babies and all topics related. Since my undertaking to care for Baby M on most weekends, I have become more and more wary about baby needs, mostly highlighted by Baby M's Mama of course.
I am so glad her mama is kind and always point out my flaws and shortfalls directly. At least I know I can do better.
We sometimes take things for granted, and she being the more experienced babysitter, and having dealt with one kid with HFMD before, the kid contracted HFMD from her brother by the way. She is more careful and cleaner than me when it comes to babies, naturally.
And I continue to learn new things from her all in Baby M's sake. So this coming Wednesday, I intend to sanitize my whole house. For some reason, hearing my friend telling me about HFMD got me paranoil. Haha. Well, it's for the good, so why not?
Sometimes, we all take things for granted. Be it cleanliness, health or safety. And I am not excluded either. Seeing neat clean individual, we would assume he/she takes care of all her belongings just as good. Sadly not everyone, sometimes people like me who couldn't really care about how we look, go without make ups, use brandless or cheap stuff, care much more about baby's welfare.
I guess it is just upbringing, or maybe education. I can't tell. I started being wary about what is out there organic that is good for baby to eat. I started being wary about how baby is carried. I started being obsessed, maybe? All thanks to my friend! I now know there are so much variety to baby food that is organic! And how much is too much.
This made me less tolerable to people who mishandle their babies and the food they feed their baby. I had to constantly close my eyes and tell myself "It is not my baby, it is not Baby M"
I almost felt like I have fits when I see someone throwing a baby in the air or shake him/her excessively with head bobbing.
"Ya Allah!!! Protect the baby!" screamed my aching heart. I had to just walk away, before I screamed this to that adult. Not that I don't care, I just had enough of people who "knows better" and refused to heed my warning, and refuse to educate themselves.
I am protective, and call me crazy if you must. DO know, that if you ever ever dare to throw my baby in the air, I will seriously consider throwing you out the window in my head many times that you might just jump yourself. Seriously... Do it to your own child, if you must. BUT don't do it to others, or at least ask their parents first. Some are not too bothered, and some do! So before you love any kid, learn to respect their parents first. Even when you wanna just give the kid an innocent candy! You never know if that kid has allergies.
Then again, I don't have kids of my own, and maybe I don't know much. True much!
If I were to have one now, I wont have anyone around who can care for her/him either. So be nice, Allah SWT knows best why I haven't had my junior yet. Stop telling people or my face that we didnt try hard enough, for Allah SWT knows best how much we have tried.
I rather focus and learn via Baby M. She taught me a lot, along with her mama. And I learn, my husband learn, we all learn.
And it warms my heart when Baby M says MMaakk, to my face, and Abbbaah to my husband. And she knows how to wave! Yeay! But sometimes she wave to the wrong direction. And oh, clap too, slowly but getting there!
And oh... the baby fan is now down to just one blade. She tore the two apart yesterday, and smiled/laughed cheekily when I caught her.
Another baby entry another day...
Wassalam,
Baby M's Mak.
Tuesday, September 09, 2014
And now it is clearer why...
Assalammu'alaikum family, friends, followers and readers of my blog.
We had an episode of what seemed like a tough cookie to crack. Well, my friend got an offer to take over a shop, a dream she couldnt resist - I'd grab it if I were her too!
So we cracked our heads as to where Baby M goes on weekdays, my heart ache knowingly my mom wouldn't be all confident in handling Baby M alone no matter how much she wants to. So we thought about infant care. Then the horror comes to light. Urgh, the "mother-mother" feeling of worry comes flooding in our minds.
Now it became clearer why my junior hasn't arrive yet, right? If I were to have a junior right now, what happens to me? What happens to us? Our income? Our stability? I had to quit my job if I have a junior, I am not one of those tough mom to put my child in infant care or get a helper. I am not, I have trust issues, and so does my mom (well she just hates strangers helping out).
I did my calculation, I can only afford to have my baby when our home is ready, then I can stay home care for my baby (or babies) for the next 7years (to a max of 9years) before having to resume to work so I can contribute paying for the house via cpf again. Ya. My huge amt of CPF can only sustain me for less than a decade of home payment. Urgh, the very thought.. I have to work another 17yrs before I can stay home with a fully paid home. Everything else we can compromise, but not a roof over our head.
Till date, we haven't found the perfect solution yet for Baby M. Infant care seeemed like the only option at the moment, only if it is near my place so my mom can fetch and look over for an hr max before I get home (if I ever need to stay late in the office).
I can't seem to come to terms with infant care, neither could I let anyone else care for her. And I am not her biological mom, and still fuss so much. So I am pretty sure my friend is pulling her hair right now thinking about it.
I think I would break down and just cry, to think I am tough and strong... nah.. I am a not, eh? Just another weakling..
Baby M, would you give both your Mak and Mama some strength to have faith in you, your immune system and that infant care is okay for you? Give us a sign maybe?
Mak wanna just cry la! Orang cakap senang je dulu, amik je terus anak ni, now siapa nak jaga bila aku keje! Korang cakap senang la.. Part gini semua buat hal masing2.
So next time cakap tu beralas pls. Ingat aku tk nak ke? But fikir la, sapa nak jaga? Kau?
Wassalam,
The worried and upset Mak.
We had an episode of what seemed like a tough cookie to crack. Well, my friend got an offer to take over a shop, a dream she couldnt resist - I'd grab it if I were her too!
So we cracked our heads as to where Baby M goes on weekdays, my heart ache knowingly my mom wouldn't be all confident in handling Baby M alone no matter how much she wants to. So we thought about infant care. Then the horror comes to light. Urgh, the "mother-mother" feeling of worry comes flooding in our minds.
Now it became clearer why my junior hasn't arrive yet, right? If I were to have a junior right now, what happens to me? What happens to us? Our income? Our stability? I had to quit my job if I have a junior, I am not one of those tough mom to put my child in infant care or get a helper. I am not, I have trust issues, and so does my mom (well she just hates strangers helping out).
I did my calculation, I can only afford to have my baby when our home is ready, then I can stay home care for my baby (or babies) for the next 7years (to a max of 9years) before having to resume to work so I can contribute paying for the house via cpf again. Ya. My huge amt of CPF can only sustain me for less than a decade of home payment. Urgh, the very thought.. I have to work another 17yrs before I can stay home with a fully paid home. Everything else we can compromise, but not a roof over our head.
Till date, we haven't found the perfect solution yet for Baby M. Infant care seeemed like the only option at the moment, only if it is near my place so my mom can fetch and look over for an hr max before I get home (if I ever need to stay late in the office).
I can't seem to come to terms with infant care, neither could I let anyone else care for her. And I am not her biological mom, and still fuss so much. So I am pretty sure my friend is pulling her hair right now thinking about it.
I think I would break down and just cry, to think I am tough and strong... nah.. I am a not, eh? Just another weakling..
Baby M, would you give both your Mak and Mama some strength to have faith in you, your immune system and that infant care is okay for you? Give us a sign maybe?
Mak wanna just cry la! Orang cakap senang je dulu, amik je terus anak ni, now siapa nak jaga bila aku keje! Korang cakap senang la.. Part gini semua buat hal masing2.
So next time cakap tu beralas pls. Ingat aku tk nak ke? But fikir la, sapa nak jaga? Kau?
Wassalam,
The worried and upset Mak.
Friday, September 05, 2014
Plans we can only have..
Assalamm'alaikum family, friends, readers and followers.
I got a little emotional and did a reflection earlier...
You know, sometimes Allah SWT has our life planned in mysterious ways.. We can only plan, and plans are all we have. HE decides and will carve our lifes as to what we deserve, and can handle at any one time.
I mean my husband and I thought we are all ready of a little junior to come. So we did not hesitate to try right away, and now.. 19months after, still haven't conceived. Many concerned (or overly concerned) relatives, asked if we are planning, and asked why we haven't conceived, asking us not to wait too long.
Yeah, they are concerned. But it hurts. It hurts when we both know we are not stopping ourselves from conceiving. We are trying, and we are trying soo hard. It drains us to come up with answers ourselves, what more to answer to you. And so I came up with one which managed to shut these concerned people around me.
Conversation:
A: So.. any good news?
Me: Hmm.. ya. I am still breathing and alive, good news, right?
A: No i mean, got already anot? (while eyeing my stomach)
Me: Oh.. well, I've placed my order, but it's out of stock, so waiting for the next shipment la.
A: Wah, ppl ask nicely... why must answer like that?
Me: Well, conceiving is not like plucking an apply from the tree you know. We are trying and we are trying endlessly. If Allah SWT says it is not due yet, then what am I suppose to do? Can you just please... just please pray for us, and stop asking us these question. Pray that we will conceive one day, and pray that if we didn't or if we couldn't, we would find strength and solace to remain together as an Ummah.
A: urgh.. (mumbles)
I had to walk away to avoid the awkward silence.
Now... the story about Baby M and her family is pretty much mysterious too.
It was a scene such that Baby M's mom and me lost touched for many years, maybe amounting to some 4 years or so. She invited me to an event and so I chatted a lot with her about what theme it is, what occasion it is, and how grand it sounded, and that it was a pleasure to know she is a mom already... At that point, to be honest, I even forgot her name! And doesnt help when her FB name is not her name - I knew it wasn't but just couldnt recall her name at that point of time.
Now, imagine if I didnt accept the invite, i mean it is far away, abt an hr journey, and we havent met and spoke for the last 4 yrs. It kindda make sense to miss it for some movie date with the husband. But instead, we made it down, I was made to make a lil wish for Baby M even!
Then we kept in touch after the event, somehow... through FB chats, and WAs... we kindda got closer virtually, we connected more that just being friends somehow, she felt like a sister to me. Then that one text came, and I consoled the best I could. I took the offer to care for her baby, and now.. it is the 8th weekend with our Baby M. Imagine if I didn't come down, because it was far away, and it was someone whom I barely know and contacted. Imagine if I didn't continue to chat with her... I wouldn't have gotten this chance to care for Baby M.
Then I would just be a wife. Then the house would be quiet all weekends, with us lazing around, or just aimlessly go our for a walk.. Then we would all be so ignorant and naive to all the baby brands out there. Then we won't bother finding out the best food, the best toys, the best of everything baby. Then maybe we won't know how it is to have a baby as a family, then I wont know how my husband would react to baby poo, baby crying, baby food mess, and all those lil "oh watch out!" moments.
Oh baby... You are so little, and yet you took up all the space there is in our home and heart.
And now, Baby M's mother and I were indeed closer that just friends. We became sisters. We shared everything there is to share. We discussed all topics, agree and disagree, give and receive feedbacks. She is the first outsider who can call me stupid in the face and I'd hug her for that. Before, it was just my biological sisters who can do that. I'd have gotten angry if anyone else does it, but not for her.
And I thank Allah SWT, alhamdulillah ya Rabb. Thank you for giving us (as a family) a chance to have a taste of what it is like. I realised that we may not be entirely ready for it. InsyaAllah, when you deem us to be ready, we will be ready with your will only, and we will be caring our little amanah with greater faith, insyaAllah.
Ameen...
With lots of hopes and smiles, and enthusiasm to grab little Baby M later,
Baby M's Mak
I got a little emotional and did a reflection earlier...
You know, sometimes Allah SWT has our life planned in mysterious ways.. We can only plan, and plans are all we have. HE decides and will carve our lifes as to what we deserve, and can handle at any one time.
I mean my husband and I thought we are all ready of a little junior to come. So we did not hesitate to try right away, and now.. 19months after, still haven't conceived. Many concerned (or overly concerned) relatives, asked if we are planning, and asked why we haven't conceived, asking us not to wait too long.
Yeah, they are concerned. But it hurts. It hurts when we both know we are not stopping ourselves from conceiving. We are trying, and we are trying soo hard. It drains us to come up with answers ourselves, what more to answer to you. And so I came up with one which managed to shut these concerned people around me.
Conversation:
A: So.. any good news?
Me: Hmm.. ya. I am still breathing and alive, good news, right?
A: No i mean, got already anot? (while eyeing my stomach)
Me: Oh.. well, I've placed my order, but it's out of stock, so waiting for the next shipment la.
A: Wah, ppl ask nicely... why must answer like that?
Me: Well, conceiving is not like plucking an apply from the tree you know. We are trying and we are trying endlessly. If Allah SWT says it is not due yet, then what am I suppose to do? Can you just please... just please pray for us, and stop asking us these question. Pray that we will conceive one day, and pray that if we didn't or if we couldn't, we would find strength and solace to remain together as an Ummah.
A: urgh.. (mumbles)
I had to walk away to avoid the awkward silence.
Now... the story about Baby M and her family is pretty much mysterious too.
It was a scene such that Baby M's mom and me lost touched for many years, maybe amounting to some 4 years or so. She invited me to an event and so I chatted a lot with her about what theme it is, what occasion it is, and how grand it sounded, and that it was a pleasure to know she is a mom already... At that point, to be honest, I even forgot her name! And doesnt help when her FB name is not her name - I knew it wasn't but just couldnt recall her name at that point of time.
Now, imagine if I didnt accept the invite, i mean it is far away, abt an hr journey, and we havent met and spoke for the last 4 yrs. It kindda make sense to miss it for some movie date with the husband. But instead, we made it down, I was made to make a lil wish for Baby M even!
Then we kept in touch after the event, somehow... through FB chats, and WAs... we kindda got closer virtually, we connected more that just being friends somehow, she felt like a sister to me. Then that one text came, and I consoled the best I could. I took the offer to care for her baby, and now.. it is the 8th weekend with our Baby M. Imagine if I didn't come down, because it was far away, and it was someone whom I barely know and contacted. Imagine if I didn't continue to chat with her... I wouldn't have gotten this chance to care for Baby M.
Then I would just be a wife. Then the house would be quiet all weekends, with us lazing around, or just aimlessly go our for a walk.. Then we would all be so ignorant and naive to all the baby brands out there. Then we won't bother finding out the best food, the best toys, the best of everything baby. Then maybe we won't know how it is to have a baby as a family, then I wont know how my husband would react to baby poo, baby crying, baby food mess, and all those lil "oh watch out!" moments.
Oh baby... You are so little, and yet you took up all the space there is in our home and heart.
And now, Baby M's mother and I were indeed closer that just friends. We became sisters. We shared everything there is to share. We discussed all topics, agree and disagree, give and receive feedbacks. She is the first outsider who can call me stupid in the face and I'd hug her for that. Before, it was just my biological sisters who can do that. I'd have gotten angry if anyone else does it, but not for her.
And I thank Allah SWT, alhamdulillah ya Rabb. Thank you for giving us (as a family) a chance to have a taste of what it is like. I realised that we may not be entirely ready for it. InsyaAllah, when you deem us to be ready, we will be ready with your will only, and we will be caring our little amanah with greater faith, insyaAllah.
Ameen...
With lots of hopes and smiles, and enthusiasm to grab little Baby M later,
Baby M's Mak
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