Past Memory...

Memories, they will never fail to set you thinking eh?

Ah... A lot has happened since my last update...

Let's see, there's a 3rd movie date, a mini NP reunion, a duo day out - suppose to be a trio day out... What else... Oh... KI's 2nd apology- like finally!

Okay.. we watched Die Hard 4.0, the mini NP reunion is really mini, only 5 of us there, a duo day out with dearest sis, Lyna. Cha was grounded for no apparent reason so that's why it ended up with just the two of us...

And okay.. why I just write a sentence each for the respective 'happening'? Well, because I kindda find that KI's 2nd apology of the year more happening at this moment...

He's not the kind of person who find it easy to say the hardest 5 letter word in the dictionary, so it was huge. I was in disbelief when I first read it, then I thought ah, might as well just forgive him... =) I would probably still forgive him even if he shrug it off and go on as if nothing happened.

What happened? Well nothing huge, really.. He just got angry because I said something that he don't wish to hear, really... He just texted me out the blue to meet up, and I just told him it's raining and I just got home, then it ended up with him accusing me of creating excuses, and subsequently the normal, ah, I don't want to hear your excuses and I ended up just saying whatever you say, you always do this and that anything else is just up to him. And after awhile I just text him which says, " Sometimes I really wonder what's on your mind, Anyway Gd Nyte" and just simply went to bed. I would be lying if I said I didnt think anything much about it. Because I really mean it when I say I sometimes do wonder what's on his mind to end up saying such things to me and just a tiny bit hurt me just like that....

I hardened my heart and refused to text him first, as that's what I always end up doing. And I made it, but he texted me at an earlier time with "Gd morning dear, I'm really sorry bout yesterday, Still mad at me?"

Oh how can I not let it go...? There're just one too many soft spots here in me... And sometimes I just get frustrated with myself for that. I mean people can keep on hurting me and I'll just sit and let it go and keep forgiving others but myself.. And so I ended up replying with "It's okay, I'm never mad at you, Btw what are you doing?" Just what is wrong with me?!?

Maybe KI had talked to someone about it and maybe he just simply realise what crap he has done to a gem he had. Or maybe he just realise that my patience has a limit and I might just one day leave him, and maybe he realise that he's the one who's gonna lose at the end if that happens... Then again, maybe I'm just being optimistic....

I shall just enjoy it whilst it last.. And take in as much as I can absorb... And love for as long as love last, and to indulge for as long as it exist.... And not to forget when it's gone... Like always...

Can I just do this once... I havent done it for a long time... Can I just say I love him? Once? Oh well, I just did.. Geesh.. How many time must I fall in love with the same person? Oh I hate this feeling.. It's making me unsure with every assurance that I am getting!

You don't understand? Well neither do I, honestly.... It's like a phrase I said to my niece last Sunday, it's crap but carry on if you really are dead bored and still want to go on reading my crap.. It goes like this, "You need to understand what I don't understand and I'll understand what you don't understand, Understand?"

Yeah.. Whatever.. Heard it, but hey you're the one who's still reading, I never did force you to read my crap.. =)

Good night, good fellas!