More about myself

Assalammu'alaikum friends, readers and followers of this blog...

Interestingly, someone commented about my "about me" section.. as typed, it reads:

Sometimes, I hate myself as I'm my own enemy. Other times, I love myself for being the perfect me. Those minute moments of loneliness, I spent it with friends who never fails me. For those who does, well, I have many others. What you see, ain't always what you get. Go on and judge me, do what you please. I can take the good and leave the bad. I am me, take it or leave it. I'm all into touch rubgy and the boys. I'm all about having a good time, laughing, and enjoy everything while it lasts. I'm a movie-goer, just that most of the time... I ain't got the cash flow going. I'm in love with my totties- my beloved nieces and nephew. A girl with no fear of doing what she thinks is right. A friend who appreciates every friendship. A lady who respects those who approach her to correct her mistakes, not those who only speaks behind her back. I'm lovely, Read on..

I guess there's more behind the short description of myself, and I am guessing, it's only fair for me to further narrate about myself further.. It's not at all a bed of roses being myself. I had a lot of critics, and sometimes, I do get isolated for some reason unknown to me. I never quite find out why my own cousins blocked me off their friends list, or why they just refuse to acknowledge me or simply talk to me.. They would talk to my sisters, my nieces, my nephews, but just not me. I mean grow up already, aren't we adults? Can't they just tell me if I did something wrong? Can't they just be upfront and just tell me off? As it is they already smashed my heart, what would another phrase of critics do? It will at least allow me to sleep peacefully knowing the reason behind the cold treatment, right? At least it'd give me room to further improve myself, right? Thus the "What you see, ain't always what you get. Go on and judge me, do what you please. I can take the good and leave the bad"

I hate it when people go around spreading rumours and have friends believe them without even asking or confronting me. Those friends, I'd usually keep my distance. For you know when these people can go to you talking about some other friend, they could jolly well, go around other people talking about you. I prefer those who mind their own life like me. Nothing really matter as long as they are happy with the people around them and vice. Thus the, "A lady who respects those who approach her to correct her mistakes, not those who only speaks behind her back."

I have lost many friends along the way, and I sometimes begin to think that it's me who have a problem. I don't know how to go about finding out my fault really. All I did was just being myself. Upfront and direct. I'd kiss and tell my feelings, my thoughts, my opinion and I'd gladly say your breath stinks if I have to. I guess that is the reason why I don't have many girlfriends. All that is left is my mom, 2nd sister and my childhood bestfriend, really. And the many boys around. It's easier befriending them and have an everlasting friendship with boys anyway. At least I can tell them they are ugly and have a good laugh without having any grudges. And I don't get offended when they say I'm a spoilt brat because I know they either are just being honest or just pulling my legs. Thus the, "Those minute moments of loneliness, I spent it with friends who never fails me." But it's more of family now compared to friends. I haven't been socializing lately..


I prefer people criticizing me in my face, then have someone who talks behind my back. At least I can go home with those criticism and try set things right so I can prove them wrong. It's really take it or leave it with me. It's really either a yes or a no, and nothing in between. I have some kind of a split personality at times. I can be such a bossy person at one point, and at another I just refuse to make a decision and would rather just follow someone else's instinct. Thus the "Sometimes, I hate myself as I'm my own enemy. Other times, I love myself for being the perfect me"

I've been cheated in love, been dumped, been married, been divorced.. But I dare not say I've seen it all... There's always something out there that I have yet to know. There will always be someone out there who have gone through far more. I don't quite like talking about myself... But I rather people not know my capabilities, and allow them to solve the mystery themselves.

My life is much better now, I guess.... And I usually stay contented with whatever I have, with whatever Allah SWT has given me thus far. The challenges He put me through has made me the stronger person. The tests He put me through has somehow made me a little wiser.

Right now, I guess that's enough about me.. And right now, I just simply hope things would go like how it should... I'm just being me... Take it or leave it...

Seriously.. on a personal note.. I'm feeling a little jealous over something. And I can't quite tell what it is.. Maybe just maybe.. it's the love bug again.. truly is missing my Smart Pants...

Wassalam.