I'm kindda confused with what I want... But when I wanted something or someone badly... That something would be out of stock, and that someone would not be available...
He who stole my attention, is slowly stealing away my heart... How or how do I avoid myself from falling again? I can't see us going anywhere further no matter how far we have been into this mess... I can't seem to handle it just by the mere imagination of him having another girl... I can't bear to part, neither could I bear to prolong...
I got so emotionally and physically attached... And yet, I'm still as lonely as can be... Noone seemed to able to assure me my worth... And noone seemed to understand me and my needs...
I dunno if it's me and my sensitiveness or if its another series of insecurities phases of my life coming to light again...
I dunno what the future holds no more... My emotions seemed to fail me more than my actions did this time round... My heart yells for a companion, my body seeks physical touch, my mind in need for a challenge and my emotions screams for love... How do I satisfy myself?
Tell me oh young man, can you really handle me?
Thursday, September 25, 2008
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
Updates... after 3 weeks of MIA
Ah.... I am on the roads now... Yeah....
Got myself a first hand bike, an Aprilia RS125 05 model for $12,600 in total... Insurance, road tax and what not inclusive....
21st August, rode my bike home, got into a small accident... 3 days consecutively dropped my bike stationarily or some sort.. and on the final day of the first week, on 28th August, I got into another accident... 2 days MC later, and $500 spent of spare parts and repairs... Nothing but enjoying my ride....
She is named Baby Blast... Gorgeously stunning, stubborn at times, and brave just like me.... Going against the odds, and still looking good on the roads, with scratches and all....
I'm still learning the routes to get to places, I get lost many times, but never could give up... I enjoyed riding my baby for every single ride gave me some kind of achievement. Learning from mistakes, pointers, advices, and not to mention, lots of scolding and nagging so I could learn and remember not to do the same mistakes again...
Life is such eh.... Currently financially stranded... Still have got some bills to pay off... But I love myself, my bike and my life more than ever now... Because I know, I've became someone better despite the odds....
I've lost a great companion... oh, make that two... but I'm getting closer to another... unconsiously falling again, i guess... Parents seemed to like and trust him... But I have my doubts sometimes.. I am nobody to him, and he is supposingly nothing to me.. but we both treated each other more than just a friend... I dunno where lies the void... And where lies the closure anymore... It's just a blurry line between us..
Been addicted to SBF and organizing outings after another... I went back to BBDC today, and received many raised eyebrows and exchanged many awkward smiles... I'm going for a defensive riding course this saturday.. I dunno what I'll learn... But do hope it's worth every cent..
Ah... money money money... when will i stop complaining about money?
My shining armoured knight is nowhere to be found... Not even his shadow was detected... Where are thou Knight... Thy shall wait for thee till dawn is no more...
Got myself a first hand bike, an Aprilia RS125 05 model for $12,600 in total... Insurance, road tax and what not inclusive....
21st August, rode my bike home, got into a small accident... 3 days consecutively dropped my bike stationarily or some sort.. and on the final day of the first week, on 28th August, I got into another accident... 2 days MC later, and $500 spent of spare parts and repairs... Nothing but enjoying my ride....
She is named Baby Blast... Gorgeously stunning, stubborn at times, and brave just like me.... Going against the odds, and still looking good on the roads, with scratches and all....
I'm still learning the routes to get to places, I get lost many times, but never could give up... I enjoyed riding my baby for every single ride gave me some kind of achievement. Learning from mistakes, pointers, advices, and not to mention, lots of scolding and nagging so I could learn and remember not to do the same mistakes again...
Life is such eh.... Currently financially stranded... Still have got some bills to pay off... But I love myself, my bike and my life more than ever now... Because I know, I've became someone better despite the odds....
I've lost a great companion... oh, make that two... but I'm getting closer to another... unconsiously falling again, i guess... Parents seemed to like and trust him... But I have my doubts sometimes.. I am nobody to him, and he is supposingly nothing to me.. but we both treated each other more than just a friend... I dunno where lies the void... And where lies the closure anymore... It's just a blurry line between us..
Been addicted to SBF and organizing outings after another... I went back to BBDC today, and received many raised eyebrows and exchanged many awkward smiles... I'm going for a defensive riding course this saturday.. I dunno what I'll learn... But do hope it's worth every cent..
Ah... money money money... when will i stop complaining about money?
My shining armoured knight is nowhere to be found... Not even his shadow was detected... Where are thou Knight... Thy shall wait for thee till dawn is no more...
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